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Why I reset my day counter, and why you should too.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DerSchütze, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    Yesterday I was on bodybuilding.com and saw some pictures of women in athletic clothing, I lingered a bit and got an erection. This was technically looking at porn, so I reset my counter. I did not relapse, and I don't feel bad about resetting my counter. Be honest with yourself about when you slip, don't taint your streak. This is a slippery slope of leniency, if you've committed to something (like no PMO with your day counter), and you allow the little things to slip, you are setting yourself up for a full on relapse.

    Another point I want to bring up is that you shouldn't get too invested in the day counter, or your streak, while it's nice to keep track, a reset, or even full on relapse, won't destroy all the progress you've made. This isn't a video game, things aren't that simple.

    I'm making this post because I used to be obsessed with the day counter, and my "streak", and I was at the point where I was allowing really bad edging sessions to take place. This was bullshit and i knew it, but it all started with allowing that peek at porn, or rubbing my cock on the mattress before bed. Catch yourself, reset your counter if needed, you will feel a lot better and it will help you abstain in the long run.
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2019
  2. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    Everyone is different and they have their reasons for their goals and rules on their journeys.
    Don't judge others… offer empathy and support to enable everyone to reach their goals.

    Good luck with yours
     
  3. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    I understand what your saying about the lingering. However maybe you could also take it as a win? You look at the pictures and then you close out and walk away. That takes strength and your brain will remember that it didn’t break you
     
  4. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Why bother updating a counter if it doesn't matter? C'mon, guys, if you update it, it does matter to you.
     
    DerSchütze and IbrahimViking like this.
  5. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    It does matter, but not as much as some people think. You shouldn't dread resetting your counter, and losing a long streak should not devastate you.
     
  6. If a guy's main concern is his so-called "streak" he is not truly committed to leaving PMO.
    I am pretty sure I will eventually dump my counter because it's not my priority.
    But I do acknowledge it's different for everyone. For guys who are new or need something to focus on, however, hitting certain milestones, like even a week, is important. Good luck to all, no matter what your opinion.
     
  7. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

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    The only criteria of importance if the counter should be reset or not is how it benefits your long term recovery and being free from the addiction going from thereon out.
     
    DerSchütze likes this.
  8. sambo27

    sambo27 Fapstronaut

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    I like the emphasis on being honest with yourself about viewing porn / vulgar content.

    There is an element of developing self-awareness on your "true" intention when looking at it.
    If it is a genuine accident then I don't think you need to count it against you.
    (for instance I am watching Westworld and am starting to forward all the scenes where they show nudity / intercourse. So far, I feel that I am genuinely not wanting to view any of that content)

    But at some point, our intentions may slip and we may catch ourself gazing at it longer.
    If that happens, I think it's important to call yourself out on it and reset the count.

    It may or may not be considered excessive, but tbh we are trying to reprogram an autonomic system in our brain. There is an element of military-style discipline you need to employ to retrain that response system.
    (not to trivialize the military)

    I think if we can all get really quiet in our minds and isolate our true intentions, we can see benefits beyond not relapsing and into other parts of our life.
     
    DerSchütze likes this.

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