Why I'm doing this....

Here's a thought:

In real life, sex may feel good (I've never done it, but I can still imagine). However, it is also very risky. Not only do you risk impregnating a woman (if you're not looking to get kids), but you also risk obtaining an STD. If you get an STD this way, that can seriously impact you for the rest of your life in a negative way especially if it's HIV.

The reason why I'm trying to abstain from PMO'ing is not only to avoid the stress of PIED, it's also a more personal thing. One is a moral thing due to my religious background and another reason why I'm trying to quit is because one day, I would love to get married one day and have my own family.

I can have all the success in the world, but being alone in this, it just wouldn't feel that fulfilling to me.

It shames me to say this, but after 43 days of abstaining from PMO'ing, I had a relapse. I woke up with a wet dream and I couldn't stop myself from going online and masturbate over hentai pictures this morning. Judge me however you want, I can take it. But now, I'll have to start over again.

If there's anything that I can look forward to from now on is that this is a new year, 2018. This is the first time I've given into this temptation this year. Last year, I don't even know how many times I caved. This year, I can go after reducing it to the point where I can still remember how many times I PMO'd. The best case scenario is this is the only hiccup.

Instead if dwelling on how I could give into this, I'm going think of what I can do to make sure this doesn't happen again. Wet dreams are normally out of your control, however, this happened in the morning when I was more aware of myself. I got to avoid the fantasizing because it caused the wet dream to happen.

If I do get another wet dream, then discipline myself not to use this to go online as an excuse. And most of all, I have to keep reminding myself that the people that I look at online are not real people, they're fictional. And even if they were real, I highly doubt they would be doing all the things that are up on those websites.