Why I'm dumping online dating

I can relate bro I haven't had too much succes with online dating but i had a solid date with an older women who was very attractive lol it was honestly the first date I've been on and I was maybe a little eager it was first time I got a date with a woman I found absolutely attractive lol This was like 5 months ago we had fun I kissed her at the end of the date looking back on it I could have done more with her but that's besides the point we didn't go on a second date lol initially I took a break from online for the first 3 months of my reboot I'm almost at a year now.Im noticing an immense change in myself I'm accepting my flaws I'm choosing to be grateful for the things I have rather than complain about what I don't have.Ive been learning how to cook for the past year and doing things like mountain biking and maintaining myself at the gym also I have learned that reading is therapeutic and so is writing down my thoughts and goals daily. I've noticed that online dating is a waste of time because the attractive women I do match with never respond back or ghost me. Where as women I don't find as physically attractive are the ones who message me first. My whole life I've been told by women who are friends that I'm attractive and it shouldn't be hard for me, and I realize pmo was ruining the pureness in my heart and soul.Now I'm going out just being more care free to enjoy myself not looking for validation or solely looking for women and my friends are like bro that girl is completely checking you out lol I'm realizing now that I have no shame what do I have to lose going up and talking to them. I realize that thinking about it doesn't help just go for it, and remember to come from a place of love instead of fear. Before I use to think rejection is a negative think but solely I see it isn't a failure or rejection because that person wasn't meant for me no matter how beautiful they look. So I see that there more possibilities and valuable experience then using apps. After being on NoFap for so long I'm done hiding from the world I don't have that shame from pmo that would isolate me in fear

 

Absolutely! I found my relapse rate went up massively when using tinder. I find it also makes you more judgemental on finding that "perfect" girl and probably does the same to them too looking for the "perfect guy".

I'm staying away from online dating for a while and Just enjoying being single after constant dating and relationships for the last 8 years phew!

 

Online dating was such a negative feedback for me. Few responses (I'm not particularly photogenic), and I can understand that. But the worst is when they are responding but they refuse to really converse, and it's like pulling teeth to even get a conversation out of them. There is nothing I hate more than feeling like I have to force a conversation, like I'm desperately scrabbling for anything more to say because they just add nothing and ask nothing.

 

I'm going to speak up for online dating. I think it's a bad idea during a reboot, especially if it's a site or app that's all about swiping photos. And all online dating can become a Psub and an addictive dopamine trap. So you need to be cautious about it.

But if you're rebooted, porn is behind you and you're single, then as long as you limit your time on it I think online dating can be a great way to meet a woman. Not all of us are into meeting women at bars or just chatting them up (that just doesn't work for me) and the great thing about online dating is that you can look for someone by interest so you have a good reason to think there's compatibility from the start.

You don't have to be driven by photos and looks in online dating. Personals without photos are a great idea (there are a lot of them at some websites). If I'm looking for dates again in the future I'll definitely be online, but making sure I do it in a non addictive way.

 

I don't know, in my experience it feels like pulling teeth to get conversation out of women on online dating. I've just never had a good experience, at the very least I recommend stay FAR away from POF.

 

Hi I’m female and I agree with your assessment totally. At least you have height short men have it rough and your response rate is pretty high actually. Women are just bombarded with emails and we tend to overlook some really great men in trying to weed through. But if you make an impression in person you stand out.

 

Totally True on the online dating is very Akon to porn and had similar effect on the brain as porn.. albeit not as intense, every "match" is like an orgasm and then you are chasing the next and next. And in reality hardly any of them actually turn out to be a real date or an encounter or bring something good in your life.

And yes the success rates on the real world are wayy better for me as well is what I've noticed. I've deleted tinder about 2 weeks back and don't really miss it anymore.

 

I had a similar situation earlier where I downloaded Tinder and was swiping, got a dopamine rush (not as intense as porn but it was noticeable). What do you guys think about that being a P relapse?

 

No its not a relapse, but it will lead you to wanting more and eventually start going back to P. The small dose of Dopamine rush that you felt will eventually not be enough, and then you start looking for more intense "experiences" which will lead back to watching P and then the cycle continues.
A dopamine rush is not a bad thing, it is Infact necessary and integral to our happiness, but depending on P and other such sources for the rush is what screws our brain circuits. Suggest you keep away from any thing which would lead to a possible trigger back to old habits.