Why is cuckold addiction so "rewarding" to the brain when it goes completely against nature?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Sep 3, 2019.

  1. My biggest problem fetish by far is cuckold. As a soon to be 40 YO virgin, sex is surreal to me, nothing but a fantasy, something "real men" do while I can only dream of it. It is so surreal that, to me, any man who is having casual sex may as well be a god. I've had many, many disturbing fetishes over the years but nothing "rewards" my brain like cuckoldry. I can actually feel the veins in my head pulsing as I watch other men have sex, and it's like they're making fun of me, calling me a weakling failure of a man, doomed to be the omega who eats last, if at all. But this goes completely against nature. I'm not gay, so WHY does seeing another man "succeed" at sex while I "fail" feel so damn good??? It makes NO SENSE.
     
  2. amnesiac21

    amnesiac21 Fapstronaut

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    Your brain is turning your feelings of inadequacy and inferiority from pain to pleasure. I am struggling with the same problem too. We need to be strong and simply not watch so that we can re-set ourselves. I don't want to continue doing this and I have no other choice but to fight.
     
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  3. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    I believe it is an ancient piece of wiring, when we lived in packs, and the women were "shared" if you saw a male mating with a female it would cause your erection to be harder than normal, making it larger and thicker than normal, assuming after he was done with her, you would have your chance. You needed the biggest penis you could manage to.

    A. Deposit deeper than all the other males
    B. "Scoop" out the other males semen

    The reason the head of our penises are the shape they are, was to make them act as a scoop, so the previous male who deposited in a female could possibly be scooped out and your semen might win the race.

    Ever notice how babies look like dad when they come out? My girl was born in April, when I posted pictures of her, family and friends lost their minds about how much she looked like me. That is likely evolved, so that the newborn resembles dad, and he would know he was the father, compelling him to care for it and protect it. Like a caveman Maury Povich
     
  4. Merlio

    Merlio Fapstronaut

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    Dont put your masculinity on youre not getting sex, i used to do this as well counterproductive.
    You are putting way to much praise on these man, they are just having sex ( whith prostitutes)
    Its empty no love just a fuck they are feeling useless and depressed.
    It seems like the dream, having sex whith 20 girls a week like in porn but those actors live drug induced lives to perform and have no real value to society.
    To me a dude working in construction is more of a real man than those actors.
     
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  5. amnesiac21

    amnesiac21 Fapstronaut

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    I am also struggling with this fetish. I keep relapsing. I am renewing my commitment and I must be stronger and make better choices.
     
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  6. dsoon99

    dsoon99 Fapstronaut

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    listen man i gonna say the truth nothing else first of all it is not your fault it is porn induced because after you get desensitized to vanilla stuff your brain starts to seek novelty, shock, distribution, disgust and lastly anxiety so all that is happens in cuckold (devil's work shit) so stop beating your self up you are ok i've been there one day when i was 16 (i'm 20 now) i've been throw many more and all other shitty categories but truth is we can't change the past what's done is done we got to own our actions but putting our selfies on trail and keeping on beating our self up is not the answer and especially for a situation like that as it was not your fault it is your addicted brain once you stop porn your brain function much better and the fake dark cloud you have on your head will fade away i've been on a 96 days streak and i relapsed i'm telling it will pass no worries just have that attitude "i fucked things up but i don't give a fuck" because the more you think about it the more you will feel awful and overthinking doesn't find you solutions it keeps you ruminating only and for me the word that i always used to say while thinking about this past is " it was my addicted brain prank, it doesn't define who i'm" and it is true no one finds that shit enjoyable or even acceptable it is your addicted brain seeking its fix you should understand that fact. and for the first 30 days of nofap i advice you to keep yourself busy as much as you can for example ( read books, go jogging, socialize, etc.. ) that will get you back on the road so fast i know it is a struggle but it is struggles what shows you the best of you.
    best wishes :)
     
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  7. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    You could just as easily ask why masturbation is so rewarding when it goes against nature. The natural purpose of our sex organ is to join with a woman and produce children. Masturbation fails on two counts, yet it is pleasurable.

    A term for masturbation that has all but disappeared in our culture is ‘self-abuse’. I think this is a great term. If simple masturbation is self-abuse then masturbating to cuckold porn is just a particular form of that abuse. So, why do you like cuckold porn? Because you’ve been abusing yourself and the natural consequences of that are to abuse yourself further and in more degrading ways. So the question is why do you want to abuse yourself? What deep wounds do you have that drive you?
     
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  8. Ed74

    Ed74 Fapstronaut

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  9. Ed74

    Ed74 Fapstronaut

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    I have the same problem and always wondered what the attraction was. Very interesting take on it that makes sense!
     
  10. HunnyBunny8

    HunnyBunny8 New Fapstronaut

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    My boyfriend watches Cuckold porn. I don't like it whatsoever if you want to hear a woman's perspective on it. I would never want to tear down another human being. I can understand the difference of a fantasy being played out once in a while but, for the majority of your day and your life you don't really want to feel inferior. So listen, the sooner you can stop watching this the sooner you might be able to give yourself a chance at actually learning to love yourself. You're watching an influx of constant negativity. That does play a role in your day to day life. Start listening to positive and self loving affirmations from something or somewhere else. You might have to take baby steps, and that is fine. All you have to do is want to love yourself instead of driving yourself insane over this. Look into Positive self affirmations for deserving better, wanting to be happy, whatever you actually want out of life. Learn about cognitive behavioral therapy. etc
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2019
    LavaMe, Ed74, JakeWoods and 1 other person like this.
  11. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    I too fell too far down the rabbit hole and ended up developing a problem with cuckolding. Never anything in real life but I got hooked on Cuckold porn. Particularly if the man was of another race. Don’t ask me why, the actual sane person inside of me didn’t want to like it, but the porn addict inside of me loved it.

    It’s definitly the “shock” factor of it. Another man taking your woman and all the rest that comes with it. All the feelings you feel, jealousy, anger, humiliation. It all shocks the brain. Tied in with the feeling that you know you shouldn’t be doing it. For some reason just makes it more potent.

    I am currently hoping to beat this part of the addiction for good. As I havnt always been into cuckolding and I’d much rather be that person again who never liked it in the first place.

    When you really think about it, it is kinda messed up. I mean I know their are people who practise it in real life and absolutely love it (more power to them). But I’d just rather be free from it. I just hope that this part of me that likes it stems from my addiction and not actually who I am.
     
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  12. It will be awesome when we get to a point where people who experience completely natural things stop referring to them as completely unnatural. You're a part of nature. Nothing is beyond natural, if you experience it in nature. Most forms of porn that rely on the excitement of anxiety (or, if you prefer, mistaking anxiety for positive excitement), are resolved by abstaining from fortifying those neural pathways. There may have been untold numbers of survival benefits to the mechanism in the past -- celebrating a leader's superiority, in a system that relies on hierarchy and rationalizing subservient roles, probably saved all of our ancestors from starvation and destruction from rival troupes in the past.

    Rather than getting hung up on "I'm a freak!" recognize that these are understood circumstances - speaking with others and researching shows this to be true, almost immediately - we make problems far bigger than they are by regarding them as supernatural, or supranatural, in some way.
     
  13. ckfighter81

    ckfighter81 Fapstronaut

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    he s right about all of this. sex and reproduction is an evolutionary competitive event.

    you getting aroused by seeing a guy have sex which is just bringing out your desire to get hard and join breeding battle.
     
    JakeWoods likes this.
  14. Merlio

    Merlio Fapstronaut

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    Well, he deleted its account :(
     

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