WHY IS IT SO HARD TO QUIT?

I know I cannot give you a fully satisfying response, but here goes. First, no matter what the addiction, kicking it is hard. I don't think anyone completely escapes the urges. And no matter what the addiction, I am sure people experience many relapses.
I think our brains and bodies are so used to escaping stress, sadness, or trying times with masturbation on its own or with PMO. It becomes an unspoken part of our lifestyle.
The brain and the body want what they want and they will conspire against us to get it. We need to train them to behave as we want. Easy? No.
I see a psychologist and opening up about this was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. One second later I wondered what in hell took me so damn long to do it. Speaking face to face to an empathic and nonjudgmental person is the only thing that has truly worked for me.
You say you are trying. I believe you. Please keep trying and perhaps consider upping your strategy.

 

I think the clue is in your OP - if all aspects of life is affected then all aspects of life needs to be addressed in your plan. Just having a short list of stuff you abstain from is not enough, it is a very myopic view. That works better in the case of substance addiction where that is obviously the primary culprit, but even there people does psychological work.

Have you taken steps to educate yourself on the subject? This is the first step. Some people recognize they have a short attention span and it is challenging to get through one book. I say if you've identified as the primary issue for you then at least you can focus on that one thing and read one good book, don't worry about the rest for now and just focus on getting that primer and orientation.

There is way too much to cover without knowing what you already know and doesn't need to be repeated. If it's been a while it may not hurt to re-read some of the key stuff either like Your Brain on Porn. Let us know where you're at as far as that goes and we can pick it up from there.

 

It is not hard but we are weak

 

I don't think strong/weak is a good way to frame it, but lets go with that for a second. Weaker than what? Weaker than the collective forces of online media both porn and on the p-sub level, including user created content influenced by a culture that is obsessed with sex? Yeah, of course. There are way more of them than there are of us and they have a huge amount of resources devoted to creating that landscape.

That and the general ignorance of the masses makes it very challenging when measured in terms of strength, and that's why I don't think just white knuckling it with a lot of motivation will get you through in the long term. BECAUSE a lot of it works based on peoples ignorance though, being informed is key. Another recent thread was about why knowledge is not enough, and the key points that followed were it has to be APPLIED knowledge and having an actual plan. It's like being able to navigate through heavy traffic without getting into an accident. You can definitely do it, but you have to know where you're going and be careful driving.

 

Its all about your attitude towards it. You have to consider PMO as a serious enemy to you and your life and that failure shouldn't be accepted no matter what. You must always remember how it felt to be deep inside the darkness and how the light feels compared to it.

Whenever you try to give yourself some excuses to give up and fail, no matter how convincing and good the excuse might seem, don't accept it. Say out loud, "NO I WONT DO IT NO MATTER WHAT", and take it as seriously as you're fighting a demon and never show any weaknesses no matter how bad you feel or how your life circumstances currently are.

It's a war, you either win or die, but you never give up.

 

I think another key to why porn addiction is so difficult to kick is it's ubiquity. I will never diminish the struggle that a heroin addict undertakes in attempting to kick their addiction, but imagine for a moment how much more difficult it would be to stop taking heroin if there was a box in your house that gave you free heroin. And for the past ~10 years, now there's a little box in your pocket, and you carry it with you everywhere and use it for everything, and oh, by the way, it also gives you free heroin if you ask. And if you decide that you're done with heroin, it will suggest heroin substitutes instead.

This (that is to say being on this site, and this forum) is the first time I've openly acknowledged that I have an addiction - both to myself or anyone else. I've tried to quit porn before, but honestly it was the "I can quit anytime I want" narrative that every other addict has, and I relapsed each time. This time will be different. Even if I relapse, this will be different.

Some people have had success with blockers, and you should give that a try. For a lot of people, it seems like the extra few seconds that it takes to bypass a blocker gives them time to cool down and fight the urge. Personally, I didn't have success with the blockers - but I also refused to admit that I was an addict when I tried them. Maybe it's worth another shot for me, too.

Ogikubo and Awedouble gave great advice as well. Use this as an opportunity to get those other aspects of your life in order as well. Don't be afraid to see someone professional if it's overwhelming. There is strength in admitting your weaknesses instead of ignoring or covering them. A friend of mine once said "The first step to getting out of a trap is admitting your in a trap."

Finally, Despair is going to be a powerful enemy in your (and my!) struggle. Even if you give in to the addiction, never give in to despair. If you stumble, know that you are still on the road - despair will try to tell you that the road is hopeless, that it leads nowhere, that it's pointless to even try. Don't believe it. Not only that, but take comfort that even if you stumble, and the counter rolls back to "Day 1", you are still further down the road than you were when you started. The road to recovery goes on forever. It'll get easier and it may seem like you've arrived at the destination, but the truth is that we have to keep walking. Don't despair! Find joy and purpose in the walk. Be proud for each day you put behind you without a relapse - and if and when you do relapse, proudly start walking again.

 

“If you quit every time it’s challenging, you’ll never make it. That’s why only the dedicated succeed. Only the people that truly want it.”

 

This is brilliant man... One of my best friends is a former heroin addict and I never understood what he was going through. I don't like drugs, but I love porn. for YEARS I was in denial. I am now on 19 days strong and it changed my mindset on everything. I now believe porn is harder to quit than anything else because of its accessibility. I am a novice at this. 19 days of doing anything is ok. But what is pushing me is reading the stories on here of people that have been doing this for YEARS. BTW I am brand new to this site

 

It's an addiction that can seriously ruin your life. People have relapsed on 100 days of nofap, and others relapsed on day 300, 500, 1000. I just relapsed after 150+ days and it feels terrible. The worst part is that we got to start our long streak all over again, but the only thing that we can do is keep trying and to learn from our mistakes. Without mediation and sexual transmutation, I don't think there is any other way to defeat this addiction. Try out meditating and see if it will help you on your nofap journey.

 

I've asked help from a psychoanalyst, he treated me for a month, I was under hypnosis for three times, it helped me somehow, But You should be really determined to quit, in other case you won't quit it never

 

Quitting fapping and PMO is definitely possible, however; the bad thing about it is that it takes a very long time to beat the addiction. You will get there eventually, or you can just quit fapping today and never do it again, it is easier said than done. You just need to change your lifestyle and daily habits and live like a warrior that can beat the urges because they have a strong goal and reason to why they want to be fap free. A warrior is somone who doesn't need fapping, a warrior is someone who strives to succeed.

 

You are failing ( we all do until we make it) because you are fighting the wrong battle.
Your addiction is not your problem.
Your problem is your anxiety.
You need to heal your old wounds and condition your mind to manage anxiety in a more positive way rather than the default one : the anxiety pleasure cycle.