Why is it that i am so awkward

I think it is all in your head. Still bad jokes are bad jokes, but that is something to work on. If you think you are awkward, you are but if you are confident and hold your ground when you say something you are not.

 

Don't think about others too much.It’s nothing.Don’t think about how u feel about others too much also. Just get on. Try communicate with every person u get connection but don’t rationalize. Feelings are not very important in student life. They mean nothing.

 

I do recognize certain things from my own youth years, and now in my 40's sometimes experiencing the same.
Awkwardness is not fun.
For me it's a kind of vulnerability that I feel in a certain circumstance.
It's like I cannot really connect to the other. If I try, something goes wrong.
I've learnt for example that it's better to say nothing at all, then to "just say something".
Being real is a good thing.
The main question for you is maybe "who am I really"?
Are you really yourself? or are you playing somebody in a try to be part of the group?
In my youth my awkwardness was rooted in a bad home situation where I could not connect to my dad.
There was an emptiness in my heart that I tried to fill with porn and fantasies.
The porn created a wall between me and my school peers. It was impossible for me to connect to them.
Only with a few I was able to create sort of a bond with.

You have to found out who you really are and with what kind of people you can really create a connection with.

 

How should you describe the relationship with your mom? Your dad?

 

Why do you want to be different from everybody and at the same time you are disappointed at the fact that you are different from everybody?

If you are not clicking with your friends then you should look up hobbies/ work/ studies where you can find similar people to you. I do get anxiety as well when meeting new people and I am awkward sometimes. It is okay, I also have good conversations and also am able to get rid of the anxiety by talking to people. Do not ramble on. Say what you have to say and wait for a response. Hope this helps in some way.

 

Look closely at one of your friend. Try to know what he thinks. What his routine everyday. Does he feel same as you? If he is similar to you than its not a big problem. Most people are kind of same in mind.

 

You use your right brain too much. Try using your left brain.Right brain people always look for wholeness and always anxious. Left brain people are less anxious and cope with other people well. Read this book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman...part 4...14. Hope this will help.....

 

This might sound harsh but i mean it with the best intentions: The world doesn't revolve around you.
No one cares and that is one of the most relieving things when you realize it fully.

What you describe is a projection of how you feel(awkward, shy, embarassed..) on to the people around you.
Or rather, you look for outside clues that confirm your insecurities.
That becomes somewhat of a self fullfilling prophecy as you develop this cognitive bias to only see people pitying you or reacting to your supposed awkwardness which in turn makes you behave insecure and awkward.
And the more this pathway gets strenghtened in your mind, the more it shapes your interactions, how you see yourself, how you hold yourself, how you talk and therefor how others react to that.

So now you don't feel like you fit in anymore and probably are hiding your true self because you think there might be something wrong with it. As long as you think that, it'll be your reality.
Beautiful thing about subjective reality tho is that it can change.
So in order to do tht you must realize these thought patterns, maybe with the help of a therapist(cbt could be doing the trick),
work on your self worth, and find your way back to who you really are, and what your values are and pursue that.

Don't worry you've lots of time, you'll find your people, or they'll find you. Theres billions of them on this planet so..
And maybe these people in your class were just dickheads overall, that is a valid option often times

All the best!

 

You are who you are! Your first mistake is that you consider this a problem and you stare in the face of that "problem" too much.
You just need to let that sh*t go! Try to relax a bit and most importantly accept yourself. I feel as if you are battling who you are overzealously.
Awkward or not you sound like a good dude and you should consider that a power in this day and age.
Plus there are many people who would feel absolutely fine being in your company if you relax a little.
Building upon yourself is fine but remember to also accept your inner being and also defend it infront of people who don't understand it and criticize it.
The world is not a happy place no matter what movies portray mate! You have to fight for who you are!

There are times when most of us felt like this! Whenever I felt like that in the past I acknowledge that said feeling but I never gave into it.
It seems to me you are desperately trying to change by reading and watching videos but FORCING this into the real world is what eludes you.
You need to gather courage when in such situation and go for it despite all odds!
If someone interrupts you you have to interrupt them back until you finish your sentence!
Life will not grant you things easily, you have to take them and force them by yourself!
You have to use your accumulated knowledge and really NAG yourself to do the things you have never dared to do!

Beautifully said! Exactly this!

 

I won't dive deep into the relationship with your parents as this goes way back but I commend you that you understand you can't blame your parents anymore.
Well done! Knowing that capitalize on yourself and rebuild.
I also consider this coincidence - yesterday I found a quote that I really liked and saved on my phone.
I will share it with you because it represents what I would like to tell you combined with my previous message:

Unhealed wounds are passed on from one generation to the next until someone has the courage to heal and break the cycle, no longer passing the poisoned chalice onto future generations.

Food for thought!

 

They lack some of the emotions to guide children properly. Most of the parents are the same. Read the book....u can get it online... Or buy it....Maybe this can answer some of your questions.

 

But that's the thing isn't it?! You are giving it too much thought! It's a double negative because everyone tells you to think about it but also not think about it!
Here's what it really means:

Go with the flow means to really let yourself go as the situation progresses! Not stress on it too much because stress blocks your brain receptors to function properly.
You will overload hence why your anxiety starts to gain weight. It's easy when you think about it... no pun intended get it?!

Believe in yourself means that you have to accept who you are and believe in it! Just believe you are enough, you are worth it and you deserve to be where you are.
There are people who even suffer from Imposter Syndrome. I sometimes felt like that but until you learn to discard such thoughts you will give in to them.

Take a breather means that you can just chill and relax like I told you! Not just mentally but also it can mean physically.
If you physically just really take a deep breath you potentially reset your brain anxiety. There are even books on body postures that increase the endorphin in your system.
If all of that helps to conquer yourself in the present moment... why wouldn't just a deep breath?!

 

Hi man, thanks for sharing a bit of your story.

Well I think you are right this is an important factor that pushed you down.
Don't underestimate the results of parents who became angry when a kid makes a mistake, especially on younger age.
A kid need love and lots of understanding and encouragement and corrections.
When this all is absent, parents let the kid grow up with a damaged self-image, insecure about who (s)he is. And that lead to all kind of troubles in the mature life.

I know a childs intention is to stay loyal to their parents.
But at a certain moment it is important to see some truths.
You have a problem because of what your parents did to you in the past.
Normally that should make a boy make angry.
AS I don't see any anger in your words, it may be possible that there is a load of stacked emotions inside of you.

I would like to advice you - if that is a possibility for you - to seek out for a professional helper.
Once you vent all that unprocessed experiences from the past, I bet you will feel much better and much more confident amongst others.
You will be able to let your parents go (emotionally) and live your own life as a mature man.

 

Damn... there is more value in this one sentence than most 20 minute motivational speeches.
Powerful stuff!