Why is porn bad? Dumb question I know, but I want to hear other opinions.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by trynaquitpmoforgood, Sep 5, 2021.

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  1. trynaquitpmoforgood

    trynaquitpmoforgood Fapstronaut

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    So, I’m struggling through my reboot phase. Around day 55. Can some explain why is porn bad? I want to show this to myself when I have urges.
    For me porn is bad because it destroys my self perception on what women should be and it kills my self esteem.

    Please tell me why porn is bad so I can fight urges. It would really help. Thanks.
     
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  2. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Porn is a super stimulus that causes you to produce dopamine in excessive amounts. This damages your brain in much the same way as other addictions. It destroys your frontal cortex, the place in your brain that helps you make good decisions. Here are some things that changes in my husband
    Around 10 yrs of marriage we both noticed his duck was smaller, very shriveled looking but thought we were crazy because ducks can’t “ shrink” 6 months clean and his dick was noticeably bigger, healthier looking and softer to the touch.
    He started growing more hair, lots of hair, that grew fast! His fingernails healed. They have always been grossly deformed but Doctors couldn’t figure out why. Today his fingernails are perfect.
    He used to fall asleep any time he sat down. He hasn’t done that in over 2 years.
    His eyes are brighter and skin looks healthier. He is far less irritable, less selfish, far more patience, acts far more like an adult now. He no longer has de or pied ( de has been present our entire marriage, he had pied from ages 45-50). He has not had pied since he began recovery. He is just an amazing person now. Before , he was just a miserable person to be around.
     
  3. From my own experience, this plague took me to a point that I didn't believe I would reach, for example, it took away my willpower, discipline, potentialized negative addictions "yes".
    It took away my energy, brought me several negative things that I can't even describe.
     
  4. DohnJoe

    DohnJoe Fapstronaut

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    I think it may depend on the type of pornographic material you are viewing, but all of it can lead you to make very bad choices or form bad habits. We all started somewhere with it, right? Now look at most of the people on this website trying to recover from all these crazy fetishes and habits they developed from watching/viewing porn. I'm no saint either. We all started with one video or picture, and it has turned some people's lives into hell. Not only can it lead to bad habits or choices, but it affects your mind in a negative way overall. It causes some people to slip into depression. It causes many people, both men and women, to develop insecurities that they likely wouldn't have had before viewing it because it creates unrealistic standards. It causes many people, like me, to waste precious time that could be spent bettering our lives. I've literally spent entire off days before watching porn just because I could. What did that do for me in a positive way? Absolutely nothing! On top of that, most women I have known disapprove of it, especially if you're in a relationship with them. Some people look at it as cheating, even though I disagree to a degree. But, my point is that if you plan on being in a lasting relationship, your partner will most likely not want you watching it. So its better to improve yourself now rather than have to try to hide watching it and lie to your partner about it, like I did with all my relationships. It creates trust issues, and makes them feel worthless. A few minutes of fake pleasure does not outweigh the consequences and issues that can come along with watching porn. All that, and what those above me have said are valid reasons why porn is bad. Hopefully this helps :)
     
  5. lytnin88

    lytnin88 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is bad because it damages the brain. It makes it too easy for you to get a dopamine hit. You don't have to work for it. Porn is a poor substitute for the real thing. And if I can bring up the subject of religion, I don't think porn is what God had in mind when He created sex. And as you probably well know, after you look at porn, you feel like crap. You will never reach your full potential until you are set free from the curse of porn.
     
  6. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    For me the answers fall into several different groups.

    Why is porn bad for me?
    • Porn soaks up time that I could more productively spend on anything else, even sleeping!
    • Porn makes me a hypocrite, it means I do in private something I believe is wrong.
    • Porn is a super effective place to hide. Instead of facing my problems and dealing with them I can blot them out.
    • Without me realising it porn makes me absent in my relationship. My wife feels that I am not present in so many little actions through our days.
    • Porn makes me a worse lover.
    • Porn replaces my authentic sexual fantasies with crass commercial ones. This gets so bad that if I masturbate without porn, just with my imagination, it feels inadequate and leaves me desperate to go looking for more porn.

    Why is porn bad for the person I love?

    My porn use utterly destroyed the self esteem of the woman I love. She reached the point where she was so depressed that she felt she had to leave to protect herself. She offered me the choice, stop using porn or lose her, but she knew that I would choose porn. WTF! "She knew that I would choose porn"! That's clearly nonsense but it is how she felt. I cannot believe that I was so wrapped up in my own porn use that I never stopped to notice the damage it was causing her. Of course when I realised then I started trying to stop using porn. She was wrong, I chose her.


    Why is porn bad for the women in porn?

    Women go into porn for a number of reasons. Perhaps they are forced into it, perhaps they need money and see no viable options, perhaps some trauma in their upbringing means they see their only value is as a sexual object, or perhaps they are too naive and unintelligent to see beyond the lifestyle portrayed by the industry. Then they are repeatedly abused, coerced into soul (and body) destroying acts that they never imagined. Humiliated and degraded on camera over an over again until, in the briefest possible time, their 'career' is over. I know the industry makes sure that there are poster girls, counter examples to this narrative, but for most of the women in porn it is a nightmare. And what did I do to help them? I suppressed any shred of empathy that I felt and I masturbated to their misery.


    Why is porn bad for all women?

    Women are not sex objects, they are people. Porn teaches us to objectify women, to see them as ready for sex. It teaches us they deserve (and love) rough sex. It is a feedback loop which picks up the nasty aspects of ourselves and our society and amplifies them. There will always be differences between men and women, differences in the ways we view life and each other, but we share far more than we differ on. The porn industry wants to replace the varied and natural creative sexual fantasies we all develop with ones they can commercialize. It does this by sexually objectifying women over and over again until porn's way of seeing the world becomes normalized and accepted. I will not participate in that anymore.
     
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  7. Why is setting yourself on fire bad?
     
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  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I try to remind myself that there's too many negative side effects with porn use.

    - brain fog
    - social anxiety
    - low energy
    just to name a few...

    Those are the things that are synonymous with porn use in my case. If I relapse once, it's not so bad. If I binge for a few days or more, all of the above are back in my life.

    This often only gets us so far however... And we can end up thinking "F it, I just want to enjoy some nude stuff"...

    To combat this, I believe we must consciously work on our real life problems.

    Even if relapses happen every few weeks or months, you can still get progress done towards creating new habits and hitting your goals!

    You will reach a certain point where you realise you've got a lot more going on than you used to. You may already be most of the way there?

    There's no finish line here. We're always striving for more. But I think there is a point where we sit back and say, alright: "I've got a few good friends, I'm getting dates with girls, and I enjoy my job... wtf would I waste my time with porn for again?"

    In short: Keep creating your 'rat park' until you see porn as simply a less appealing option.

    Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong | Johann Hari - YouTube
     
  9. Mr. Kruger

    Mr. Kruger Fapstronaut

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    I never thought I'd see somebody else on here mention the fingernails thing. Back when I was a rock-bottom addict, my fingernails always had weird pits and ridges in them, and they would crack/peel easily. After two years of abstinence, they look smooth, shiny, and healthy.

    My hair also improved; it looks thicker and healthier than it has in years. Quitting this addiction also resolved a lot of the physical and physiological ailments that I had been suffering for years. It's utterly shocking how much damage this addiction can do to the body. I've seen a lot of people on this forum who are dismissive of this and don't believe that it can take this much of a physical toll on a person, but I think those people just had a very mild addiction and didn't hit rock bottom like some of us did.
     
  10. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    Excellent response. Thankyou.
     
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