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Why people relapse...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018.

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  1. Jan 22, 2018 #1
    FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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    I have post an answer on a 180 day challenge thread, that might be interesting so I am opening this thread to expose my point of view and debate with you guys.

    One of the reason some people relapse is simple, for them masturbation is still an option. That's the problem, they should erase it as an option, this porn and masturbation shit is over, that's it. THIS IS NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE.

    We do the NoFap PMO Tracker daily checkin just the be strong and to feel like we are not alone, otherwise, the counter doesn't even mean anything, the masturbation option is gone, the porn sites are gone. THEY JUST DO NOT EXIT ANYMORE. Masturbation is like cocaine, we are not touching this shit.

    When frustration is becoming too hard to deal with, they should just come here to refuel their determination and/or subscribe to dating site if they have no girfriend like me or go to the gym, in order to kill that option.

    But one more time, MASTURBATION IS NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE. Think about it, when you want an Iphone, your mind doesn't come up with the idea to steal and the imagination to make the perfect plan like the dudes in Ocean's Eleven, NO, your mind think of way to save money, or find another job, or sell your unused computer. And STEALING IT IS NOT AN OPTION, why, because your mind train your subconsious by repeating that stealing is wrong so it became your value.

    Same with pmo, it is wrong, so sooner or later THIS WILL BECOME YOUR VALUE. You will feel like, it was some kinda worm that you were not aware it was inside you, then you identify it and you took it off you, you've been looking at it while it was on the floor and realize how disgusting it was. So now, your mind is knows it, it will block that motherfucking worm everytime there is an opportunity for it to come back until your values are strong enough.

    So the bottom line, my dear friends, MASTURBATION IS NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE.
     
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    #1
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  2. Jan 22, 2018 #2
    Robbo-seeking-life

    Robbo-seeking-life Fapstronaut NoFap Defender

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    I like your thinking. In the past I’ve tried masturbation without porn, and sure as anything, I end up looking at porn again after a few days.
     
    Robbo-seeking-life, Jan 22, 2018
    Robbo-seeking-life, Jan 22, 2018
    #2
    FrenchOliver likes this.
  3. Jan 22, 2018 #3
    FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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    Something I failed to mention, I am doing the 180 challenge and this is my first streak, and I want it to be the last.

    The reason I choose that 180 days challenge and not the one which seem easy (7days, then 14days then 30days then 60days etc) but in fact they are not, is because by choosing a long challenge right at beginning, it forces the mind to find strong and lasting solution.

    Cause when you choose the 14 days challenge at a starter for example, it is tough to resist to relapse, because once you succeed, your mind need a reward. This reward could be a nice pmo, because 14days is not long enough, it is just holidays.

    Look it that way, if you want to learn french, if you go to Paris for 2 weeks, you will learn a couple of words that you will forget easily and your grade in french won't improve, your french level will be back to what it was after coming back home. BUT if you go to Paris for 6 months, first you will learn more, you will force to make friend otherwise you will be depresse by staying alone. You will force to understand some of it to open a french account, subscribe to a french insurance, buy a french phone. You will have to watch french tv. At work or school, you will have to make an effort to learn and try to understand french habit. This stuff are done naturally by your mind. THIS CANNOT BE COMPARED to 2 weeks holidays in France, this is way much better and valuable.
    And it will change your french level for long maybe for life, because it will stick to your mind, it will be printed. A long challenge will force you to come up with strong solution.

    That's the same process guys, it takes times to print new value, so we have to give time ;-)
     
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    #3
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  4. Jan 22, 2018 #4
    FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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    THANKS bro, I really appreciate. We are all in the same boat, we will brake that bad habit ;-)
     
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    FrenchOliver, Jan 22, 2018
    #4
  5. Jan 22, 2018 #5
    lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

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    But people have trouble trying not to keep it as an option. It's not easy. It's hard. And that is why people just cannot listen to you and stop immediately. It's fight we all have to make, and more, it's the fight we all have to get used to fighting! It takes steel nerves to make it happen, and good intention.

    Just making decision and sticking to it.... nah, this is more than that. I started this journey for the lulz, but I'm going to end it dead serious. Never before have I felt more man, than now, doing the thing I feel is right.

    PMO... Oh, you sneaky bastard, Had I known back in my childhood... So many years of my life, waisted... But with so many years to make it all up!:) In japanese tradition, they say shame, once healed, will leave scar on the soul... and those scars are what makes warriors what they areo_O
     
    lantti, Jan 22, 2018
    lantti, Jan 22, 2018
    #5
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  6. Jan 22, 2018 #6
    GoingHardMode

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    I did a few streaks, now I'm trying to abstain for life. Reason being, that if I only do it for a given time, I know I will relapse completely.

    The beginning is always the hardest part, I guess that's where most people(including me) break so be vigilant. These first few months might just be the hardest times of your life, but after this shitty period is over, you will feel way better. You will see and realize that it's not worth messing up your streak after 180. The thing to remember tho is that the devil has only as much power as you give him.
     
    GoingHardMode, Jan 22, 2018
    GoingHardMode, Jan 22, 2018
    #6
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  7. Jan 22, 2018 #7
    MarkTT52947

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    People relapse for the same reason they started, people relapse because it takes a long time for them to work themselves into a porn and masturbation life style and in that long time they are wiring their brains and their bodies and turning around their whole life style around that. During the time they are into porn and masturbationa nd the crap that goes with it, they are learning to use it to deal with feelings and situations.

    For a long long time, they say 90 days at the minimum, your body wants you to do it no matter what you believe. For a long long time your thinking goes along with it. And regadless of what yout hink there is a porn and porn like propoganda flooding the world especiallyt if you waste too much time online. You teach yourself to do many things with porn and masturbation and the crap that goes with it.

    Then you get off it, and you have all this going on in your body, you have all this going on in your mind, and the real struggle is to do something that irradictes the bad stuff that porn gave you, to answer the problems. I used to think masturbating got me to sleep easier and sounder. I believed that since I was 10 or 11. I am 70. However, since I stopped I fall asleeep easier or just as easy and sleep sounder.

    There are so many things a person gets out of the piorn and masturbation life, and when you stop, you have to find alternatives.

    You cannot get out of addiction without changing not just the addiction but the rest of your life so you do not stumble into things as bad as addiction., I feel so lonely and scared now since I stopped. I face this self doubt that I did not feel when I was addicted. I felt guilty about masturbating and porn because especially the porn goes against every one of my beliefs about morals, and respect for women, and honoring and celebrating natural sexuality. So after going on the porn and masturbating I would feel so guilty that I often got heroic amounts of work done around the house or in my writing or musical activity.

    You relapse because you know a lot about life as a victim of porn and masturbation, and you do not know much any more abut life without it and you do not have strategies of change. Youc an slide back to the old stuff and at least know what you should do or how not to feel bad.

    Not to release you need to learn to feel good.

    Help PM or conversate me some time I feel so lonely and scared now
     
    MarkTT52947, Jan 22, 2018
    MarkTT52947, Jan 22, 2018
    #7
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  8. Jan 23, 2018 #8
    FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

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    I feel you man, keep it strong.

    If you want to talk here, feel free, I'll answer as soon as I can.

    I hate porn and masturbation but I love sex, and because I got PIED which slowly getting cured, I really don't wan't to hear about that PMO shit.

    Don't worry, we are all in the same boat. ;-)
     
    FrenchOliver, Jan 23, 2018
    FrenchOliver, Jan 23, 2018
    #8
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  9. Jan 23, 2018 #9
    Optimum Fortitude

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    Bien dis mec.

    Great thread.
     
    Optimum Fortitude, Jan 23, 2018
    Optimum Fortitude, Jan 23, 2018
    #9
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  10. Jan 23, 2018 #10
    Colin the Librarian

    Colin the Librarian Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the OP. That is why I'm not entering a challenge at all. Doing so would trigger my subconscious mind to count down the days...like '100 days down, only 260 more to go and then I can have my reward...'

    No, this is for life.
     
    Colin the Librarian, Jan 23, 2018
    Colin the Librarian, Jan 23, 2018
    #10
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