why some people has 120+day fap agian

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by M123, Jan 28, 2015.

  1. M123

    M123 Fapstronaut

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    why? they are near hero! they create they live has more energy! they has better healthy and will power! even me with 3 day with no pmo feel better. but they with 120+day sterk? why they still
    make them self fall down!why they fap again!
     
  2. mijereah

    mijereah Fapstronaut

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    i ask the same thing M.. really I think that our desire to be free must be greater than our desire to PMO.
     
  3. Thats some Words of wisdom right there. This is the key to success in every part of Our lifes.
     
  4. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    you can control the urge but the temptation to watch porn is always there.

    to terminate this temptation needs much more time. several years i guess.
     
  5. heyitshannes

    heyitshannes Fapstronaut

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    I think a lot of people just try not to fap instead of replacing it with a good habit. Without anything else to go to, when serious temptation comes, all they have is M.
     
  6. I think it's because they're just focusing on not fapping. They might have gone pretty far but all they might have been doing is pinching themselves away from porn or using internet filters, saying no all the time and constantly having thoughts of that side of stuff anyways. You need to replace this escape method with another good habit to relieve the stress or temptation. Instead of PMOing or smoking or being an alcoholic, you should go work out, read a book or play sports, go outside for awhile. One shouldn't be focusing on not fapping 24/7, they should be getting rid of this habit and utilizing the time for something better, that's the best way to success and it's something that's easier to be consistent with beyond a hundred days.
     
  7. stay_strong

    stay_strong Fapstronaut

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    I personally think its when you start having desires/urges which are uncontrollable, you don't really think straight and soon you fall into the trap. So avoiding thoughts developing into obsessions is a must; even for those with 90 to 120+ streaks.
    P.S. I speak from my experience.
     
  8. Oldham

    Oldham Fapstronaut

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    I'm not at 120 days yet, but I'm going strong as ever.
    More than anything I just decided I did not want to be that person anymore.
     
  9. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Monkotto is right.

    Also, when life throws shit at you, PMO or MO can seem like an escape from real life. Say you lost your job, or your girlfriend or wife, or a loved one falls ill or passes away. In times of grief, the urge to give in can become insurpassable, as if PMOing or MOing is the only option. Of course, it never is the only choice, but shitty circumstances can make it seem like a 'good' choice.
     
  10. Monster Carrot

    Monster Carrot Fapstronaut

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    Well said. However for me it is like 100% opposite. In hard times I feel sick just thinking about P or related stuff. Unless it's just general stress from work or whatever, in which case MO seems like a way to relax. But for truly bad occurrences in life, I tend to distance myself completely from sexual desires.
     
  11. thegrandmaster

    thegrandmaster Fapstronaut

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    I think its because of the fact that they are still weak from inside. What I mean is they look at NoFap only as a challenge for 90 or 120 days and after they hit that mark then thats it for them! They dont do themselves any good in this process. They dont know and arent aware about the opportunity that they miss! They dont realise that this NoFap is a process not about hitting some target but about self-improvement!
    IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING PMO FREE FOR CERTAIN NUMBER OF DAYS. ITS ABOUT IMPROVING YOURSELF!
    Stay strong and happy!
     
  12. ###

    ### Fapstronaut

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    To me I don't think temptation will ever go away; it's a daily possibility. I'd have to die to eliminate the possibility of relapse totally.

    PMO, at least for me, is a vacuum approach to the world. I'm sucking in pictures through my eyes and drinking in all the stuff that keeps the flame of my personal pleasure going. If that's my approach to life, I'm going to have trouble anyway, whether it's PMO, personal relationships, food, etc.

    In my experience, those who relapse have not transitioned from the "take" approach to the world to the "give" approach. I'm trying to stay in a place where I'm trying to think of others' needs and do things to make others happy. When I slip out of that, I can see I'm more in danger of going back.
     
  13. Haggis

    Haggis Fapstronaut

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    Sage advice, Kallos. Its not just about not fapping, its about integrating healthy new forms of dopeamine release :)
     
  14. newlifeahead

    newlifeahead Fapstronaut

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    I shouldn't be commenting here, but I agree what _S.K. says. Prior to my relapse, I felt awesome and fully under control of my destiny. Yet, I am 100% certain I could have fapped anytime and anywhere so easily.

    I relapsed for another reason, primarily due to becoming complacent. But I have learned (or I am in the process to learn..), that I need to become mentally stronger. I know that PMO is something my mind is programmed into, but it's not what my body & soul require. So, I need to remind myself whenever I feel the "pull" that I am actually FINE, and there is no need to do something against my will.

    Only my 2cents. I am a recovery novice btw :)

    Chris Aka NewLifeAhead
     
  15. firdi

    firdi Guest

    Firstly, congratulations to all those who made it through 120 days. I hope and pray to be there in about 113 days.

    From what I've read on here and what I've experienced with my tiny successes in the past, if your on hard mode, there come times when you flatline. And your not used to being floppy all the time. Your brain is conditioned to expect erections and release multiple times a day as a norm and gives you signals that something could be amiss. Paranoia sets in and something inside you says you need to verify if your tool of procreation is still in working order and undamaged. Out of curiosity, you check if all systems are go...
     
  16. Metanoeo

    Metanoeo Fapstronaut

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    I think part of the issue is that we look at 90 days as the "end all...be all". In reality, it is generally the time it takes to break an addiction and start building new response mechanisms. So it is true that there is value in reaching that goal. But it isn't the finish...it really is the beginning.

    You make it to 30, 60, 90, 120 and 180 days the same way you started day 1 and 2. It is a daily process of saying no to the negative behavior and yes to the good behavior. Does it get easier as you go on...sure...to a certain extent but it doesn't mean that you can't be tempted (albiet the urges are much less as long as you don't entertain them). At the end of it all you still have to exercise your self-control and say no. There is no magic there.

    I went over 200 days without a reset and for 5 months of that in total hard mode without O, MO and obviously no PMO. After I reset do I feel like I am starting back at square one? No. I know I have made progress but the daily tools of keeping my mind in a good place, quickly rejecting the negative thoughts, developing and cultivating positive habits, understanding my triggers and actively working at counteracting them is the same strategy as always.

    I went from doing PMO multiple times a week for years on end to looking at PMO twice in 24 hours(two consecutive evenings) within a 7 month period. That is progress. It isn't perfection but as someone pointed out...life is rarely a pure linear progression. That is not an excuse...but that was reality for me.

    I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone. The way I look at it is this. I wish I could exercise for 90 days and get the six-pack abs and then never have to exercise again. That isn't the way it works. You can exercise like crazy for 90 days and you will see real results. But you have to keep exercising regularly to maintain.

    Be strong and live free,

    Metanoeo
     

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