Why the HELL am I addicted to gay porn?!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Eric'sBlue, Feb 20, 2015.

  1. Daredevil99

    Daredevil99 Fapstronaut

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    I watched transexual for around 4/5 years but never really knew about nofap when I was doing it so continued, now I have moved on to something else which I get huge fantasys over when trying to do a streak you just gotta tell yourself it's just porn which is fake and is nothing like reality. When I was proper addicted to transexual porn I wasn't fully interested in normal women like you which can cause stress but don't panic. Just stay off for it as long as you can and interact with women as much as possible and you will probably get more physically attracted as I have now :) good luck
     
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  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    regarding how much time it takes...think of it like growing muscles. the brain is an organ. so if the thoughts are a bit discomforting then we need to heal the brain. just like a physical wound takes time to get better, like a broken leg takes time to heal it's the same for brain.

    for broken leg we take meds and rest.
    likewise for brain. maybe exercise the brain by reading more. abstaining helps but also find other dopamine sources.

    i was suggested to replace the dopamine(happiness) you get from addiction from other sources like food, travel, song, music, pets...that helps.

    it may take more than a few months i guess and you may relapse anytime. but i guess you'll outgrow the addiction. just as when we were kids we were addicted to play hide and seek. we're not anymore/.
     
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  3. link12321

    link12321 New Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the earlier comment that it is possible you are gay and are repressing it because of religious and/or conservative upbringing. It is also very possible that you are straight and enjoy gay porn because it seems taboo to you. That being said, I urge you to be careful labeling homosexuality a "passion" that one can choose to follow or not to follow. By making that statement you are oversimplifying a very complex biological and psychological part of being human--sexuality. I am gay myself and can tell you with absolute certainty that I can no more stop liking guys than my straight brethren can stop liking women. I hope you figure things out. Best of luck!
     
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  4. Ben Jamin'

    Ben Jamin' Fapstronaut

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    First of all, you are not alone. A similar thing happens to many men when they become addicted to p. Second, you certainly can stop. There are so many journals from people on this site that say in their first post that they won't be able to stop. But then they do. You are not different. Third, all the symptoms mentioned above are symptoms of porn addiction. If you stop PMO they will go away, and your life will be full of happiness and accomplishment.

    I wish you success.
     
  5. aggressive turtle

    aggressive turtle Fapstronaut

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    I’ve wanted to come across this for a while. I watch an even mix of straight and gay porn, mainly because I admire dudes who worked hard to achieve athletic and fit bodies. I’ve never had sexual urges I wanted to act out on men, because I always dreamed of having sex with a woman at some point, but because of my obsessive porn use, I started doubting myself and believed I wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone. But after realizing the lie that I needed gay porn to tell me who I was, I don’t even need straight porn for that, I want to have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman. Thank you for sharing your story.
     
  6. TrueSaiyan

    TrueSaiyan Fapstronaut

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    Well man I just want to let you know you're not alone. I've been completely straight all my life until last few years of my adulthood. I'm a little bi curious. I guess you could say? But I still want a wonderful relationship with a woman, but I'm into shemale, lady boy Porn. Witch started about a year ago due to my addiction I believe. I have no other interest in the same sex, but just the penis, maybe because I've been masturbating for so long and that's what I see every day. Porn really does corrupt you're brain that I've learned. I think the reason you go back to gay porn is because you're mind is looking for that initial hit that turns you on (What it feels like for me when I watch Ladyboy/shemale P). I've done cams in the past also and I still get hard with woman.. Its just a mind trick into getting your dopamine turned on..

    I say just try and stay away from Porn as much as you can so you're mind can filter out the vibe you get from gay porn. Just masturbate and use imagination if you are struggling with porn and watching the same sex.
     
  7. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    While I was still actively addicted I used to watch gay porn ocassionally. I never really liked it but seeing erect penises in straight porn almost every day for years made me develop these gay desires too, which eventually became quite strong, so strong actually that I started fantasizing about being the women I'd see in porn, something which initially confused me, until I learned about sissy fetish.

    Does watching gay porn and fantasizing about gay sex mean you are gay? No, not necessarily, but it certainly means artificial sexuality (meaning fantasy) can be totally rewired! Porn and fantasy are all about novelty. What turns you on in real life after a while of being addicted to porn may start turning you off in fantasy and vice versa. The brain does this to avoid tolerance in its own endorphin receptors. It's a slippery slope that should be avoided at all costs because after a while you may become stuck with arousal pathways that do not necessarily match your innate sexual orientation. Not just that, it paves the way for degeneration in the nervous circuitry, and, ultimately, clinical depression.
    This is no joke and these gay fetishes are virtually impossible to get rid of with an active porn habit.

    Gay fantasies, if you consider yourself otherwise straight (meaning butterflies for women in real life, not for men) are a red flag. It means tolerance. Tolerance means addiction. Addiction means self-destruction. Porn and masturbation destroy mental health. Gay fantasies are very common in straight porn addicts and it can cause unprecedented identity crises. Some will turn to shemale fantasies to deal with tolerance, for others like me it will be gay fantasies and sissy fetish/autogynephilia.

    Believe me, once you're in that end phase of watching TG and gay stuff, your fantasies corrupted, you'll know exactly why religions urge to stay away from anything involving lust. Porn absolutely harms the soul. Self confidence massively relies on sexual purity.
     
  8. King.Ben17

    King.Ben17 Fapstronaut

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    please watch this
     
  9. davidx

    davidx Fapstronaut

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    This is something I posted in another thread just my opinion but it speaks to your question some...

    “So I have been around for many years with a 37 year PMO addiction- thenew arguement is that it’s OK - justaccept that you’re gay..

    Well I can tell you honestly my first sexual experiences when I was ateenager were with mostly boys but I am not gay. Over the years Of viewing porn and my PMO addiction I have M to Gay , Bi, shemale and all kinds of other porn mostly relating to female Porn but I have had my experiences with these genres....

    When you associate a particular genre or gender to orgasm. It sticks with you. O is very powerful and the dopamine hit with PMO is very powerful- these images don’t just disappear from our minds. So it’s easy for them to pop back into our brains the same way any other memories would. But they can trigger some sexual excitement because A. They are sexual in nature obviously B. We have associated O with this type of thing and C. The dopamine and other hormonal and chemical responses can be associated to those thoughts / memories.

    Keep in mind this activity has a powerful ability to associate arousal through thoughts and memories/fantasies with the PMO experiences in spite of any other relationships or real sexual activity we may be in or are having.

    It doesn’t make you gay any more than craving a vegetable when you are hungry makes you a vegan.

    You have put this shit in your head and you have these experiences as part of your overall sexuality - it is part of your experience and life. But it doesn’t make you gay. This idea of if you are having “gay” thoughts so you must be gay is not accurate- you have associated a specific sexual genre to orgasm and have had sexual experiences through PMO that have turned on that switch. So in my opinion what you should accept is the responsibility of your mind and the things you let influence it. Accept the fact that you may have these thoughts but you don’t have to wrestle with them. See them for what they are. Sexual images and PMO experiences you opened yourself up to and your mind associated the sexual rush and release of O with these things so it’s just an understandable response for you to feel this way and have these thoughts.

    Then celebrate the fact that your woman turns you on. Good for you. If you are enjoying sex with your woman then just keep right on enjoying it. If you have no real attraction to man then that is ultimately your answer. IMO

    Good luck.”
     
  10. Pexton

    Pexton Fapstronaut

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    I have question about myself situation . Does porn escalation after years of everyday use, ceases to stick to your sexual orientation and simply looks for sensation, novelty and dopamine? If I knew that nothing was wrong (now) and it was only dirty thoughts done by this shit it would be much better. The second good news would be that escape from porn and reboot would restore everything as before and those things would disgust me like I used to (even think about them). Can anyone write to me how it is?
     
  11. dunholic

    dunholic New Fapstronaut

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    Pornography itself is not the real problem (ok, it is), but the attention and time we dedicate to it: that eventually can shape, distort, transform our fantasies and imagination processes just by pure repetition and habit, disrupting also our regular day routine (procrastination, quick discharges of pleasure throughout the day, arousing yourself for hours). Of course, porn is highly addictive (or orgasming by yourself actually, cause its free, easy, practical, and with the uprise of the Internet, neverending, etc). Truth is all energy spent on it is creative energy that you are not putting yourself on something else (mainly your life, significant others, social needs, taking care of your body, psyche, finances, sleeping, etc). Porn habits could easily turn you into a very selfish, self-gratifying, individual. It devalues real life sex (e.g: you are not aroused with your regular fiancee and/or you start to objectify your partner(s).

    Things do get much better if you change your habits day by day, little by little (meaning you will probably have pitfalls). My advice is don´t to erase what you have seen or done (don´t be disgusted by it, just acknowledge it was a facade or a phase or a single event). All that should help you know you better. I´m straight for example, but slept with the same sex a couple of times when younger. The social stigma for those little experiments/relief/curiosity(driven by porn in a great deal)/unbalanced personality was really pricey: the guy I had sex with told a lot of people what we had done (yeah, he, a top active man, used our sex encounter as a gossip weapon to shame me!) had to change friends, got isolated, had a sexual identity crisis, etc. My point is I had to dealt with homophobia, even when I´m mostly straight! (I hated porn and myself for that for many years... not good). I said mostly because I believe not liking the same sex is just a concious option/decition (you know you could enjoy it, but you chose not to, usually for moral/religious reasons, social stigma, and just because genuinely the other sex suits you fine, plus there are no social punishment for living an hetero life). As a plus side (maybe the only one), I developed empathy for people who choose or dabbles into homosexualty. People shouldn´t punish you for your sex life: you shouldn´t either. That being said, you must focus and reconnect your sex drive with love. Just be compassionate with yourself while you are "clearing" your mind.

    Find love, serve others, connect with people, have sex only with people you really care about, turn off the pc and LIVE!
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2019
  12. Survivor Wars

    Survivor Wars Fapstronaut

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    You need rewiring. You were slowly turning gay.
     
  13. Pexton

    Pexton Fapstronaut

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    Who? Author of this topic? I'm not addicted to gay porn. I accidentaly watched some shit content (zoophilia, gays, trans). But it was only a one-time shock effect. In addition i have HOCD so when i was accidentally watching gay porn and ejaculated i feel fatally , this very much worsened my OCD illness, but that's all. I feel better now and never gonna do it again. I am 100% straight and HOCD thoughts and compulsions are just nervous tics nothing more , and porn is shit and I started Nofap.
     
  14. @Eric'sBlue Care to explain to me what kind of gay porn you are looking at? Is it male on male? Or girl on girl? Cause it really depends on your taste and how you want to stop it. I also saw an outdated artcile that's probably off the internet now but it said that when a guy likes to watch gay porn and is straight, they usually watch girl on girl porn to get off.
     
  15. dunholic

    dunholic New Fapstronaut

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    Good for you. I´d advice to don´t stress on the "I´m 100% straight", even if you are. Just assume that homosexuality IS a reality and a possibility, even if it´s not for you. I´m telling you this because you risk becoming an homophobic man. And if you try compulsively to block something, you may trigger it in the future and make it stronger. Relax and enjoy your body and real sexuality (not porn). Like I said, good for you, keep listening to your heart and true nature (whatever it is).
     
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  16. Pexton

    Pexton Fapstronaut

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    Now, when I take medicine from a doctor, I feel little bit better. HOCD decreases slightly, I begin to understand that fear and anxiety cause unwanted thoughts. When I'm calm, it's good and I think the way I want. But when there is anxiety then compulsive tests begin with checking my own reactions, which as know makes matters worse and often show the opposite beacuse subconscious fear occurs and affects everything. I hope that with time, along with therapy, it will be better if there is already improvement compared to what was recently.
     
  17. Because you liked it. And you wouldn't sup stop watching it. Now you're hooked on that dopamine high
     
  18. Pexton

    Pexton Fapstronaut

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    I do not watch gay porn. The author of the topic posted that is addicted to it , not me. For me, compulsive tests have worsened the standard HOCD case because they introduced anxiety but it is already better as I wrote earlier.
     
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  19. I came here recently and later found I wasn't alone-
    I started on Hentai, then added furry porn, then m/m furry porn, and within three years it was primarily m/m furry stuff. I had many thoughts about me permanently changing my sexual orientation, or me being gay my whole life when I wanted to be.
    I haven't gone back to the m/m furry stuff since February, and I'm pretty sure I'm on the verge of beating my no masturbation record. But even with all this I still have escalation thoughts, and desires to relapse.
     
  20. Ok that's good. To be honest I just read the title haha. I usually don't do that and I give a thorough read. I was just tired that day.

    What I wrote though does still apply to a lot of people struggling with gay porn addiction.
     

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