Why we mastubate?

I masturbate to relieve stress - for me, that's a definite. The more stressed I am, the more I delay ejaculating when I masturbate, the greater the build up, the greater the stress release when I orgasm.

 

I would M out of boredom, stress relief, avoiding work... The quality of the O was different for me because of the technique I would use during M. It was very unnatural and could not be recreated via sex. Because of this stimulation, the O had the possibility to be stronger.

During sex, the quality of my O isn't comparable to what I could do myself, but I find myself happier with a partner during and after the act. Having this intimate experience with another person is a greater reward to me than just the O itself. It's the journey, not the destination, right?

 

Hi, I added a thread in the general nofap section yesterday called "don't get you nowhere, don't make you a man"(probably should have given it a different title)I won't repeat the points here (you'll see why!!) but if you check it out it might help you with your quesrltion??

 

Hi many thanks for that. Somebody asked me to rename it and put it into the porn addiction section so I did and called it ''WHY do we pmo? HOW and WHEN did it become a problem? WHAT can we do about it?' (!!) but to be honest not had many views. Was probably a bit long but it didn't half get a lot out of my system which felt a whole lot better than the way I used to get things out of my system! !;-)

 

Hm, I got a feeling I'm somewhat like you. Just never thought it that way, so thanks for that man!
And I also have to agree on what Aron says, M equals to a whole body relief while sex only gives your genitals a relief. Tho I am curious why that is.
Me myself I am trying to cut down on M as much as possible.
Great thread btw!

 

I've read your other thread jiltedjohn, and man, that was exciting to read. I'm not a stranger to Yin and Yang and this was definitely an interesting interpretation of the dance of the two energies. I agree.

I've read somewhere (probably everywhere) that we use PMO to escape an unpleasant feeling. I agree with this, now I realise that the reason for me to PMO was to escape feeling lonely. Very lonely. Even if I was in a relationship, I could feel very lonely, because I didn't feel connected to my partner. So I used PMO. How ironic, that the "remedy" to loneliness only made it worse on the long run. Possibly prevented me from making a real connection with my girlfriend. Awfully ironic.

It's amusing to see, that by realising a problem and solving it, it will possibly also solve a lot of other problems that are not so obviously connected. Before finding NoFap I had no idea that porn is actually bad for us, for me. Of course I knew that it's unethic and morally questionable, but to be unhealthy? I had no idea.

 

I agree with EarthDragon on why we use PMO.

But I do think its unhealthy to abstain from masturbation. (please correct me if I'm wrong about this).
I think masturbation is partly healthy. Obviously there are moderations when it comes to anything and M too much isn't healthy.
But when you do it 1-3 times a week I believe it does more good than harm.

 

I agree with you on the fact, that I too think that between porn and masturbation, porn is a bigger threat. However, masturbation has some disadvantages too, even on it's own.
You may have read that a lot of guys with PMO addiction feel a lot os symptoms. Some of these are purely because of porn, and others are because masturbation, but it's not easy to differentiate, beacuse we so often use these two things together.
A lot of people talk with addiction mentioned that they feel fatigued, they lack motivation, feel depressed and so on. This is because regular masturbation. You may ask why? Well, the reason for that, is that ejaculation is a huge energy loss for men. That's why you often fell asleep quickly after sex, or why you feel weak after masturbation in some cases. The human body needs at least 72 hours to regenerate the lost energy. If there is less than 72 hours between two masturbating sessions, you drain yourself even more. If this goes on for a long time, you'll experience an overall low energy level, all the time. So the motivation, etc goes away without you really even noticing it. I speak about this in general, it may not apply to you just yet.
The second things is you use "death grip" and your "thing" will not be too sensitive, therefore you will not be able to have an orgasm during sex, because the physical stimulation of a female body simply cannot measure up to the strenght of a human hand. I must admit, I had this problem. But because you can't reach an orgasm during regular sex, your partner will feel bad about this, because she might think that she does something wrong, even if she is perfect, you just unfortunately can't enjoy sex the best you could.

As you can see, these things will not necessary ruin your life, you just develop a somewhat serious handicap that prevents you to live your life to the fullest. But this is purely my experience, it's just something to think about.

I see that it was more than a month when you last watched porn, dude, that's awesome!

 

Yea I agree with you, I feel depressed, lack of focus and lack of energy when I M.
I had no idea bout that 72 hour thing, thanks for telling me!
I know the average teen in my country M 3-5 times a week so I know that I am way below average. But I still want to reduce it even more.

About the deathgrip, I've experienced that too and wonders if that is the case of inability of sex or if porn is that problem. I know for certain that porn makes me look at women as objects instead of real persons. Stopping porn has also reduced my constant thinking of having sex with women/ constantly dream about having sex with them.

Tho M to non-nudity/ porn fetishes doesn't really makes the reboot easier.

It is something to think about, absolutely.

Thanks!

 

I heard about the 72 hour thing from my Kung Fu Master, and I have no reasons to doubt him. He's also a buddhist monk and he knows a hell of a lot about the energy system of the human body since he teaches Quiqong too. Just for curiousity, women expereince the same kind of energy loss while their on their period. They experience a low energy level there, so their tolerance treshold drops significantly. So they don't PMS out of will, but it's a rather natural reaction for them to the changes in their body. Sure it doesn't make anything easier, but understanding can help a lot. That's why girls who do sports (cause sport raises the overall energy within the body) suffer less from PMS. But that's just a sidenote.

I think with the inability to do sex, porn is the mental, while masturbation is the physical side of the same coin. You disrupt your sex with images of pixels in your head, and that's from porn, while you have physical problems too, because of masturbation. Also please share your experience with me: do you masturbate less, than when you were still watching porn? A year ago I tried to quit (I didn't know about NoFap or anything at that time) and while I wasn't watching porn, the urge to masturbate dropped too. From 7-8 times a week to once in a week...maybe twice.
Unfortunately I knew nothing about the chaser effect, and it eventually led me back to the PMO cycle.

 

Ok, I believe you. And it sounds realistic that girls have the same kind of "problem" during their period. Even tho I've been fortunate. None of my girlfriends have ever been angry uptight mean when they were on their period..maybe because I happen to fall for the more quiet ones and the ones that is highly capable of controlling themselves.

Oh god yea! when I used watch porn I used to M (to porn, wasn't able without) about 5-6 times a week. Now the average is 6-10 days in between every time I M.

Thats why I searched for this site, because I noticed that I wasn't able to orgasm with a girl, only to porn and to porn I could go from complete flat to climax in 50 sec. (Technically I found it out in the daily news paper and thought it sounded somewhat like me).

But I am still curious if whether M to fetishes is equally as bad as watching porn and M to that. I mean I have no reason to M to it online because I see it several times a week in the real world so it makes it somewhat odd.

 

Yes I agree, its like so many other things we just 'do' without ever really questioning why but eventually the 'niggling' inside gets the better of us and we start to explore our hunches often to be shocked at what we find -and I think that's happening increasingly in all areas of our lives which are undoubtedly, as you observed , intrinsically 'connected'. I think we are living in exciting times and that the tide is turning, people are waking up in increasing numbers and I think this kind of thing (what the chaps who gather on this site are doing etc) is really significant, I really do

 

Can you provide the link to your post? I can’t find it. Thanks!

 

I have not masturbated since March 2, 2017. The longer I go without masturbation the better my orgasms get during sex. I get that "all over feeling" that was described above. I also very strongly disagree about it being unhealthy to abstain from masturbation. That sounds like an excuse to jack off. I have felt better, more in control and more manly since I stopped masturbating. All masturbation does is make you want to masturbate more and leave you open to relapse with porn. There is zero health benefit to jacking off and many benefits to not jacking off.

 

I guess we do it because it feels good.I started at about 11 or 12,no body had told me about it,just came about naturally. I do remember wanted to quit at 16,I felt it was causing me not to be too interested in finding a real girl.This was 52 years ago and I am ashamed to say I never succeeded. Now I am a widower with a GF that does like to have sex but I still continue with this shameful habit.Time to think about how felt I felt about jerking off at 16 and finally do it.

 

Lack of intimacy in my life

 

It feels good and cleans out the pipes

 

I completely agree. Abstainance from masturbation also allows me to face discomforts physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I masturbate as a way to medicate something. But its like eating a salty meal when you are dehydrated. Self pleasure doesn't solve a problem, it only covers it up. Also, I hope to be free of masturbation for the rest of my life so that I can experience that intimacy you describe with my future wife.