Why would you keeping searching or masturbating even if you aren't even enjoying it?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Jun 6, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    This is something I actually seem to do sometimes, and it makes me think what hope do I have if I keep searching for content while masturbating when I am not even enjoying it, or just masturbating in general even when I am not enjoying it.

    Earlier I began masturbating and I wasn't even enjoying it. I wasn't even turned on. But I just kept thinking about more stuff, more stuff, more stuff, until the point I did become horny, got hard, wanked and then ejaculated.

    I more understand how someone could end up doing this if they're initially horny, and then want to do something like this because they're actually horny.

    But why would someone try to make them self horny? Why would someone chase after the feeling of being horny, and chase after the feeling of ejaculation, when they don't feel that way initially?

    I know I am the one who done this. But what would cause me or someone else to do this?

    It appears to me that guys don't just seek PMO or MO because they're horny. It appears there is many other reasons why a man might PMO or MO. if a man only ever seeked these things when they were actually initially horny there probably wouldn't be as much of a problem with it.
     
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  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    This is the case for any dopamine driven addiction. (which is like all of them?) Gambling addicts don't do it to win, they gamble to gamble more.
     
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  3. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    In Natasha Dow-Schulls book on machine gambling she even notes how some people feel a let down when they win, although if it's easy to keep gambling they'll of course just put the money back in the machine. It's about the experience.
     
    skaterdrew likes this.
  4. Bagration1944

    Bagration1944 Fapstronaut

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  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    That's really interesting. Yeah I guess the chasing it keeps causing the dopamine to go higher and higher? Once they win the dopamine lowers? But they prefer the feeling of the dopamine constantly going higher and higher?
     
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  6. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    What's your opinion on what happened to me earlier? What happened within my brain earlier? Masturbating not feeling anything, basically no sexual arousal at all. Thinking of all these thoughts, nothing. Then landed on one thought, this female I remember seeing on a social media site before and being very turned on by it, all of a sudden I became very turned on and got a solid erection, I then masturbated thinking about this thought until I ejaculated.

    Did I become so horny and turned on like this because what I did was activate those porn pathways within my brain? The very porn pathways I am wanting to get rid of?

    See the thing about this, I know this isn't exactly a very good scenario. But when you think about it if a guy like this had PIED when he was with a female, all he would really need to do is think about these sort of thoughts when he was with the female, when the female was sexually pleasuring him and there is a good chance he would get hard.

    Not an ideal scenario. But at least by doing this it would at least enable the guy to have sex

    I bet there is a lot of guys that already do this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  7. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Novelty seeking, remember the Coolidge effect? And that in general is not going to work well for actual sex with people for the simple reason reality may be too boring for the porn conditioned brain.
     
  8. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    habit.. made it a routine and must stop it
     
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  9. One of the "positives" of addiction is that they imbue a person with a sense of purpose. When I'm caught up in the throws of mine, I know exactly what I am supposed to do. The fact that I am limiting my options takes a back seat to the fact that I know what my options are. Real life is like an open world choose your own adventure game without a clear set of rules. Addiction is like a mini-game where everything is spelled out for you. The exact machinations of your unconscious are anyone's guess. What matters is how you use your time day in and day out. Obsessing over the details of your last fap probably isn't all that useful. Not trying to be disagreeable, just sharing my point of view.
     
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Nicely put, I would just qualify the last point a little in that the details can be viewed objectively in terms of a relapse report, but there is certainly a difference between focusing on one detail vs. a broad comprehensive analysis. Personally I think of a person was to get serious about it they would fill out a form they put together when they were clear headed, a lot of data points as far as time, events before and after, subjective stated, biochemical factors (diet/medication) just a whole overall picture, and not only the immediate behavioral and affective state during the act. IF people do that, which is a big if the data can be useful.

    The point about purpose is interesting, I think that's why I'm not interested at this point. Granted there is a general disinterest and lack of purpose in terms of how I'm feeling about life in general, but PMO is certainly low on the list if it makes a list at all. So even on a cognitive level there is a certain clarity. I may also be feeling tired/lazy but what little effort I'm going to make to move through life isn't going to be looking up P either, I sure don't have the energy for all that searching.
     
    Garek likes this.
  11. I think a lack of purpose is at the root of a lot of our problems as a society. I'm glad you've currently got one. I am formulating my sense of purpose. I have a few mutually supportive purposes I think. Or maybe just two. A sense of career direction that is designed to support my religious and spiritual direction. But I am in transition. My pornography use is like an old purpose that just wont die. A self regulation mechanism that can whip round and become a self destruction mechanism. Speaking honestly with people here seems to help.
     
  12. Skatedrew, your post describes my behaviour too. I actually look at pictures of naked women to arouse myself, rather than the other way round. I'm glad you shared this as it is something that I wouldn't have given much thought to otherwise. It shows the power of habit and repetition can eventually outstrip the initial impulse that started the cycle.
     
    Indurian likes this.

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