Why You Are Still A Failure

Awesome, lets all kill RESENTMENT

 

I don't think it helps calling people losers for coming on here and talking about something they are struggling with. There may be people on here that are resentful, but there are people on here looking for help to try and move on. The harsh method doesn't work, and no matter what addiction, you need support and understanding. I understand where you are coming from that our actions determine where we end up, but take for example, men coming on here for guidance, or some advice. That isn't weakness and that certainly doesn't make them "bitchy." It means that they know they cannot do it alone.

To me, reaching out is the strongest thing anyone can do. Especially when you're a man struggling with pornography. And I for one, would never call anyone here a lose or a failure, we're not trying to set people back to the beginning and make them relapse or give up. By being in their face about it that makes it hard for them to see a reason to keep going. By supporting them and making them realize that they aren't alone in this, then it will help with their struggle and it will help them overcome this.

No one else is to blame, but that doesn't give me the right to constantly remind them of that. If you went to an AA meeting, you wouldn't tell them "You're the one who decided to become an alcoholic." You never see people at a young age say "Hey, when I'm older I want to become addicted to porn", or meth or anything else. It isn't something that you inherently choose, but once you're in it, it's hell to get out of.

That's my theory on it. Be supportive, don't be as hard on the men here for reaching out.

 

PMO is nothing short of a gruelling addiction. Any addict is going to feel resentment to some extent, however that's part of the whole process. I think as a community, we need to stop and and remember that PMO is an addiction and treat it like an addiction. And addictions are tough. And some people are naturally going to feel resentment. And I agree with Nageroma, there is absolutely no use in trying to push ideas on people, the only way one is going to be of help on here is to be an ear to the crying, and a shoulder to support. Cheers.

 

I agree OP: http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?9052-The-Victim-Mindset&highlight=victim+mindset

Some people may need understanding. I know I need tough love and cold, hard reality checks. Life is brutal and confusing. We need to be strong...

 

DaAce: "Awesome, lets all kill RESENTMENT"

It's all Resentment's fault, I just hate Resentment.

 

Your blowing my mind Vision. Are we...blaming resentment?

 

It's a little joke or perhaps a koan.

I like a lot ChrisHaven't point. We need to deal with resentment - but not by killing it but by developing compassion.

 

Don't be a victim -- ever. If you don't like something, move toward change. Do whatever it takes. Get it, kill it, work hard, man the fuck up.

I've spent a lot of time thinking "I wish the world wasn't like this. I wish women weren't insane. I wish they'd see that I'm a good guy. I wish I was in better shape etc etc." What I should have been thinking about is I'm here, but want to be over there, how do I achieve that goal?

Resentment is just a side effect of believing that the world owes you something: it doesn't.

 

You're coming here with the PUA mindset - this too is built around the same mindset which pushes men into porn. The chase of ultimate macho-ism - in real world or in fantasy. If resentment is there because people are suffering - that doesn't mean they are entitled, it simply means there's a problem and they can see it's there. That is why they are here in the first place.

 

Thank you Chris for the Inspiring Post! Loved it! I will try to shun my resentments & Try not to depend on others for my Happyness.

 

This is an awesome post. Resentment can be a sneaky bastard though: it'll creep up on you and kick you in the groin when your guard is down

 

thx bro, great publication

 

Well I do actually feel some resentment sometimes, but I think I feel self-loathing a lot more. And the whole 'you are responsible for everything that happens in your life' certainly doesn't help with that.

I don't really like the macho "man the fuck up" catchphrases. I'm not sure what they really mean. Does it mean that I'm not allowed to have emotions? Well screw that, I'm a human being and certainly not a robot.

 

Your awareness of the death threat from resentment is spot on! Resentment eats away at the container (our mind) it is held in. Unfortunately just because we read about it on here doesn't mean we can manage it. Well maybe for a day or a week we can try to manage our thought life and prevent resentment.. but like most people you will hit a pleateau and a BIG resenment will come up and lock you into injustice obsession mode and everything you read on here will cease to exist. HOWEVER, awareness is a beginning and trying to learn from our mistakes begins will identifying what the mistake was and what caused the fall.

-M

 

Awesome post!

 

Resentment is a symptom, hardly the main problem.
Still very inspiring post ChrisHaven, thanks.

 

I liked that! I think anybody has feelings of resentment sometime. But those who always blame the others for their miserable lives are the losers!

 

Despite your arrogant delivery, I can't help but agree with EVERYTHING you said.

Patiently and persistently, you are bound to be successful.

 

I resent resentment.