An0nym0usWife
Fapstronaut
Hello,
I'm not entirely sure if I'm in the right sub thread here. My apologies if I've gotten it wrong. I've been trolling the web looking for a good place to try and anonymously speak with other men suffering DE. It's not a widely spoken about subject, but I'm hoping I've found a good community here, since having looked through some posts, you guys all speak so openly about it and support each other wonderfully. May I just add how great it is to see a community of men holding each other up!
So onto why I'm here....
My husband is suffering severe delayed ejaculation, or more accurately in his case secondary absent ejaculation. He says he's okay on his own. He just can't get there during sex. Now given the way he masturbated, I strongly suspect it's a case of this 'death grip' as it seems to be coined. Though, of course I'm not him, so I obviously can't be sure. Honestly though, there's absolutely no way of replicating his type of masturbation in sex. Very typical of what I've read of this death grip, I'm pretty sure he's strangling it and about due to pull it off.
Now, the sexual issues of being partnered to someone with DE are pretty secondary right now. Besides I do know his preferred masturbation style and stroke so at least he can reach orgasm during sex, even if it's not from the actual sex. I do what I can, I don't make a fuss out of it when it doesn't happen. The problem is we desperately want to conceive a child.
Now the reason I'm hoping to engage with some of you fine gentlemen is this; I have no idea how the hell I bring up the whole idea of nofap without making a big deal out of his situation. Talking straight, if I mention the issue he straight up avoids any conversation. I KNOW making any kind of deal out of it won't help. I HAVE to come at it with a "it's not a big issue" approach. Given how desperate we both are to start a family though, it kinda is a big deal. We've been trying for almost 2 years, but with 2 orgasms from him in the last year, it's obviously not been very successful.
So guys who have, or are still dealing with DE, can you advice how I can sensitively coax my husband into an actual conversation about this and looking into ways to solve it. Which I strongly suspect nofap would be the answer. I've read every medical journal and doctors blogs about this, so that when I can somehow get him to engage with me, I can at the very least be armed with information and offer more than just "go to a DR and deal with this alone". I get that it's a sensitive subject for most guys. I get that he wants to avoid it, but honestly I can't really do this whole TTC thing like this much longer. I'm about due to just give up on the whole idea. Which would be a deal breaker for him, as he wants children more than anyone I've ever met.
So guys, is there any advice you can offer? Ways to try and gently bring him into a conversation and encourage him to try various techniques to resolve this? Things I definitely shouldn't say? Maybe someone said something to you, that while well meaning was in fact super hurtful?
I don't want to belittle, upset or otherwise make him feel worse, but we do really need to try something more than his preferred, me just pretending nothing is amiss.
Plus regardless of TTC, or not it would be really great to see him get off again. It sucks that he's not experiencing that anymore.
So yeah, I think I've kinda managed to explain myself as best I can. Hope I'm in the right place, but if not I do apologise and will delete this post.
Huge thanks in advance guys. I thought that perhaps men who have, or are living with DE would be able to offer the best advice on how not to make him feel worse about this. I know he isn't exactly feeling great about himself over this, I'm very conscious that one wrong statement or comment could be really hurtful, no matter how well meaning I am.
I'm not entirely sure if I'm in the right sub thread here. My apologies if I've gotten it wrong. I've been trolling the web looking for a good place to try and anonymously speak with other men suffering DE. It's not a widely spoken about subject, but I'm hoping I've found a good community here, since having looked through some posts, you guys all speak so openly about it and support each other wonderfully. May I just add how great it is to see a community of men holding each other up!
So onto why I'm here....
My husband is suffering severe delayed ejaculation, or more accurately in his case secondary absent ejaculation. He says he's okay on his own. He just can't get there during sex. Now given the way he masturbated, I strongly suspect it's a case of this 'death grip' as it seems to be coined. Though, of course I'm not him, so I obviously can't be sure. Honestly though, there's absolutely no way of replicating his type of masturbation in sex. Very typical of what I've read of this death grip, I'm pretty sure he's strangling it and about due to pull it off.
Now, the sexual issues of being partnered to someone with DE are pretty secondary right now. Besides I do know his preferred masturbation style and stroke so at least he can reach orgasm during sex, even if it's not from the actual sex. I do what I can, I don't make a fuss out of it when it doesn't happen. The problem is we desperately want to conceive a child.
Now the reason I'm hoping to engage with some of you fine gentlemen is this; I have no idea how the hell I bring up the whole idea of nofap without making a big deal out of his situation. Talking straight, if I mention the issue he straight up avoids any conversation. I KNOW making any kind of deal out of it won't help. I HAVE to come at it with a "it's not a big issue" approach. Given how desperate we both are to start a family though, it kinda is a big deal. We've been trying for almost 2 years, but with 2 orgasms from him in the last year, it's obviously not been very successful.
So guys who have, or are still dealing with DE, can you advice how I can sensitively coax my husband into an actual conversation about this and looking into ways to solve it. Which I strongly suspect nofap would be the answer. I've read every medical journal and doctors blogs about this, so that when I can somehow get him to engage with me, I can at the very least be armed with information and offer more than just "go to a DR and deal with this alone". I get that it's a sensitive subject for most guys. I get that he wants to avoid it, but honestly I can't really do this whole TTC thing like this much longer. I'm about due to just give up on the whole idea. Which would be a deal breaker for him, as he wants children more than anyone I've ever met.
So guys, is there any advice you can offer? Ways to try and gently bring him into a conversation and encourage him to try various techniques to resolve this? Things I definitely shouldn't say? Maybe someone said something to you, that while well meaning was in fact super hurtful?
I don't want to belittle, upset or otherwise make him feel worse, but we do really need to try something more than his preferred, me just pretending nothing is amiss.
Plus regardless of TTC, or not it would be really great to see him get off again. It sucks that he's not experiencing that anymore.
So yeah, I think I've kinda managed to explain myself as best I can. Hope I'm in the right place, but if not I do apologise and will delete this post.
Huge thanks in advance guys. I thought that perhaps men who have, or are living with DE would be able to offer the best advice on how not to make him feel worse about this. I know he isn't exactly feeling great about himself over this, I'm very conscious that one wrong statement or comment could be really hurtful, no matter how well meaning I am.