Sorry if this is triggering... I didn't know how to express my hurt without a few details. I've been addicted to porn since 16ish. 56 now. Sometimes able to stop porn for a year or more, but was still masturbating fairly regularly. Never done anything more than porn and the very occasional strip club (club maybe 10 times total). Currently on day 45 of no porn, masturbated twice in that time. Been with her for 27 years, she found out about the porn 3 or 4 years in. This is the first time I've tried anything other than sheer will. She's supportive of me on this site working on killing this addiction. She only wants vaginal intercourse, but I really enjoy pleasuring her orally and with my fingers. She only lets me do that for a minute, tops, and then wants me in her, where I last for a while, then she finishes herself off with a vibrator. She's never had an orgasm just from my penis, and isn't interested in figuring out how to do that. This has been happening for years, and it's really getting to me. It feels like she just wants it to be over. It feels like she doesn't want any pleasure from me. Is this normal? Are there women that only want vaginal intercourse? Is it because she really doesn't want pleasure from me since she's so hurt from my porn addiction? She said tonight she feels like she's just a pussy to me. Typing this is helping me think - I need to build non-sexual intimacy with her, but I'm not sure where to start - we spend almost every night talking on the patio with cigars/cigarettes and a cocktail for an hour or more, but never about anything that makes us feel closer to each other. Have others experienced something similar? What worked to make you feel closer to each other after addiction? Abstinence? For how long? Thanks for any insight.