1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Wife spying

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Johntempted, Apr 28, 2019.

  1. Okay, that's what I was trying to understand. well, threesomes DO exist as relationships, and for those interested in poly-amorous relationships, they do exist as threesomes .

    Something is causing her to want the attention from other guys. If she is immature or addicted, she won't necessarily want to change or fix this, which means you will have to wait her out, if you want a monogamous (2-person) relationship.

    You have said your wife is hot several times, plus you love her, but I think you already are objectifying her with the pics, which the other guys are also objectifying her.
    Yeah, you are cuckolding your wife and if she knows it, it will complicate your relationship even more. There are people who consciously cuckold their wifes and like it. Lots of swinger clubs for this; are you or is she looking for that?

    Do you think she wants to be loved, or wants to be desired?
    What does she want as your wife?
     
  2. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

    204
    92
    28
    close all with her.
    don't kill yourself
     
  3. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

    113
    308
    63
    Very true. You're becoming a cuckold, @Johntempted . I highly recommend you divorce her.
     
  4. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You have a cuckold fetish. Maybe it's caused by porn? You would know best. But this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

    You are giving her all the power and you've lost your manhood so you enjoy it. You need to get your manhood back. I'm not sure how often you masturbate but I assume it's a lot since you are here. Stop it!

    After 1 week of NoFap your testosterone will rise up. This is a good thing. Maybe it'll help you see straight.

    Also you should confront your wife about this. Tell her everything you are feeling. You keeping it a secret is only going to further damage to your marriage.

    She may try to play into this fetish of yours. She may even want you to go full cuck and watch her sleep with other men. I strongly advice you to not do this. She needs to change and you need to make her. If you don't she won't respect you I can guarantee that.

    If I was married and I found out my wife was cheating I'd get a divorce. It seems you don't want to do that which is ok but you need to get the power back if you want this to work.

    That's just my 2 cents. Hope it helps and good luck.
     
  5. I agree Time to Quit,if a normal man found out his women was involved with other men,his reaction would be to confront her in anger. But I can understand from watching the kind of some of us have it can be a turn on.
     
  6. SpringWater

    SpringWater Fapstronaut

    83
    93
    18
    Fuck this..get some balls man.

    Don’t be a p@&y

    Get out of this relationship.

    Plus do you want some disease?

    What the fuck is happening to our society.

    Look we all mess up..but now is the time to not be a gd soy boy

    I’m being harsh because I care.
     
  7. S
    That was hilarious in at least 3 levels. lol. Soy boy? I am still twirling it in my mind.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Hey @Johntempted. I've been thinking of your situation since seeing this post yesterday. I'm going to offer some comments and suggestions, for whatever they might be worth:
    • If you are here, I assume you have some sort of issue with compulsive sexual behaviour.
    • If you have an issue with compulsive sexual behaviour, it is inevitable this compulsion will want to grow and intensify.
    • If you have an issue with compulsive sexual behaviour this is actively growing and intensifying right now, it is very likely you are not seeing clearly right now as addiction is, among other things, an illness of distortion.
    • If you have an issue with compulsive sexual behaviour, it is possible your partner will also have some sort of compulsivity amongst her coping strategies.
    Where do all these comments lead? To a suggestion that you first and foremost get clean through whatever means you can. Once this is done to at least some extent, take another look at your situation and discern next steps forward.

    As I said, for what it's worth...
     
  9. SpringWater

    SpringWater Fapstronaut

    83
    93
    18
    :) hehe it was worth making my comment just to read your comment haha
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  10. `Do I understand it correctly that she's twenty years younger than you? That could be the root of the problem.
     
  11. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

    34
    28
    18
    Likes to have attention and be desired
     
  12. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

    34
    28
    18
    Yes a thoyght
     
  13. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

    34
    28
    18
    Yes...
     
  14. This thread just keeps getting weird lol.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. I journaled today about a client of mine who is 30 years younger than her husband. She isn’t worried about fidelity—-it’s kinda a given.

    Sorry it is not going according to your plans.

     
  16. Agreed, some people haven’t yet connected the dots between emotional issues and sexually acting out. As if dumping or divorcing ppl will remove the root cause.

    For those who have divorced multiple times , you start to see the problem is not the other person...it’s you.
     
    Dr. Mario and Deleted Account like this.
  17. I'm sorry dude this whole situation sucks. I think the longer all of it stays hidden the worse it is for everyone.

    There seems to be this divergent path of "dysfunction" that is also available and tempting. Certainly not my cup of tea but if you find this enjoyable and she does too and you can discuss it openly and come to a mutual behavior accepting agreement it could be a "lifestyle" choice? I mean I think it is objectively unhealthy for it to stay hidden. You must talk about it. She might feel violated that you shared the pictures and in my state, revenge porn is a crime. Just some things to consider.
     
  18. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    1,339
    1,633
    143
    You are aroused because of something called "sperm competition". This is why porn is so addictive because you are "competing" with the other guy for a woman. You get more aroused so that you produce more sperm to "defeat" the sperm of the other guy(s).

    It's a competition that leads to nowhere and destruction because if a woman starts looking somewhere else, there will never be sufficient sperm you can produce to "defeat" all the other males she can find (mate with).

    It's a biological reaction in some types of men and the only solution is to STOP COMPETING for her. You should get evidence of what is happening and seriously consider divorce, especially if you have been faithful and she hasn't. The thing is, watching porn itself and masturbating to other women is a form of cheating as well.

    It's a difficult situation regardless but you need to stop reading the texts and you need to confront her immediately and tell her what you know and let her know this is probably leading to divorce.

    Never chase a partner that is looking for someone else or a partner that wants to leave. She/he has to chase you, if anything.
     
  19. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

    113
    308
    63
    I've been too hasty, you're right. But still, I have zero tolerance when it comes to cheating (whether it is in my relationships or with people I know). I am strongly against degeneracy and despise it (one of the major factors pushing me to start NoFap). I would consult with a few trusted individuals, confront the wife and conclude what's on the table. Divorce is a valid option.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

Share This Page