Will edging cause PE during sex in the near future? Should I PMO (or MO) & reset?

J

James__Bond

New Fapstronaut
Hey Fapstronauts,

I always wondered—If you have a potential case of PE, and you end up edging during a streak of no PMO—will it lead to more likely PE during sex?

In other words, if you edge (raise arousal level), but don’t eventually orgasm—will your rep system (and brain) perpetually remain in a non-0 state of arousal (ie closer to orgasm, than if you had gone ahead an orgasmed, resetting the whole system, or will it reset itself to 0 position over time (in terms of arousal level, flow of fluids)?

If your main goal is avoiding potential PE during sex (that may or may not happen any day), and you end up edging—is it better to go ahead and orgasm—resetting arousal levels, fluids, and everything else to 0—or will edging have no effect on potential sex the next day (or next week)?

PS: off course, orgasming itself might reduce chances for actual sex the next day or two (less “superpowers” during a date, less appetite)—but that’s another issue.

Hope the question makes sense :)

007.
 
James__Bond said:
Hey Fapstronauts,

I always wondered—If you have a potential case of PE, and you end up edging during a streak of no PMO—will it lead to more likely PE during sex?

In other words, if you edge (raise arousal level), but don’t eventually orgasm—will your rep system (and brain) perpetually remain in a non-0 state of arousal (ie closer to orgasm, than if you had gone ahead an orgasmed, resetting the whole system, or will it reset itself to 0 position over time (in terms of arousal level, flow of fluids)?

If your main goal is avoiding potential PE during sex (that may or may not happen any day), and you end up edging—is it better to go ahead and orgasm—resetting arousal levels, fluids, and everything else to 0—or will edging have no effect on potential sex the next day (or next week)?

PS: off course, orgasming itself might reduce chances for actual sex the next day or two (less “superpowers” during a date, less appetite)—but that’s another issue.

Hope the question makes sense :)


007.
Click to expand...

Hi there,

It makes sense,

What your experiencing here is the chaser effect- or something similar. You have relapsed by edging- you gave your brain a prolonged dopamine hit (were you ending to porn?)

Anyway what's happening now is your brain is trying to trick you into giving up and viewing porn- you feel that you have already edged so you may as well just orgasm anyway, your brain is even convincing you that masturbating and orgasm will "reset" the scale, you are probably feeling like "you might as well" as you already edged.

Obviously it depends on what your goals are and what you consider a relapse- I just noticed that your counter says you are only abstaining from porn and masturbation- I assume then you intend to stay sexually active with sex partner/s? If that is the case orgasm from sex is, by your own rules allowed, however I would advice you to shake off these thoughts of orgasm to "reset the balance" as you will only do further damage to your recovery.

Obviously it's up to you and you will decide what is right for you- if you do decide to masturbate to orgasm- please, at the very least do not use porn.
 
Ready to be healthy said:
Hi there,

It makes sense,

What your experiencing here is the chaser effect- or something similar. You have relapsed by edging- you gave your brain a prolonged dopamine hit (were you ending to porn?)

Anyway what's happening now is your brain is trying to trick you into giving up and viewing porn- you feel that you have already edged so you may as well just orgasm anyway, your brain is even convincing you that masturbating and orgasm will "reset" the scale, you are probably feeling like "you might as well" as you already edged.

Obviously it depends on what your goals are and what you consider a relapse- I just noticed that your counter says you are only abstaining from porn and masturbation- I assume then you intend to stay sexually active with sex partner/s? If that is the case orgasm from sex is, by your own rules allowed, however I would advice you to shake off these thoughts of orgasm to "reset the balance" as you will only do further damage to your recovery.

Obviously it's up to you and you will decide what is right for you- if you do decide to masturbate to orgasm- please, at the very least do not use porn.
Click to expand...

Hey--Thanks for your reply!

I think what you say is definitely true, but I still have an objective concern on the matter.
What do you think the effect of non-finished masturbation may be on PE (Premature Ejaculation), regardless of whether its an excuse for a relapse or not?

Right now I'm not sexually active with a partner (Never been, except for a few one night stands), and my goal is self-improvement in dating, pickup, and sex. So, I want to use NoFap to help restore "superpowers" that usually go away with masturbation--that I need for my dating game. But, when it comes down to it, I also want to have the best possible sex, (Avoid PE, have high libido, and sex skills from "realistic" porn (more on that later).

So, my main concern is--if I start relapsing by unfinished masturbation--if I leave it there, won't it lead to most definite PE? (In my judgement, I have PE even with masturbation, but I want to minimize chances of it, however I can).

On the occasional porn thing--I feel like watching "realistic," natural porn could help prime my brain for real sex, and at least refresh/teach sex skills by observation--if that's at all possible.

Finally--and I'm sure it's been asked before--after whatever one considers a successful reboot--do you see a scenario with healthy, moderate amount of masturbation--not so much for recreation, but to teach/learn self-control and similar skills for real sex--in the absence of a real-life sex partner.

In summary--you're totally right--my brain may be using these issues to try to justify a relapse. However, even after unfortunately relapsing/resetting, my logical mind still sees an objective merit to these questions.

Also, I think it is worth highlighting the fact that while most of the NoFap community seems to be treating varying cases of PIED during sex--my main goal with NoFap is to facilitate a more active dating/sex life (with "superpowers" and libido directed towards dating/pickup), while my main concern in my initial post is a potential case of PE (not sure if masturbation-related) when the initial goal is achieved. Seems a bit complicated :)

Short Summary:
1. If I started edging, is it objectively likely that NOT finishing masturbation to orgasm will lead to MORE premature ejaculation than if I had "relapsed" and finished masturbating to orgasm
2. Considering a case of NON-heavy addiction--mainly to with erotica and light porn--does it make sense to allow limited, intermittent "educational" porn (think lady's porn) for--well, educational purposes? Or, for priming the mind and libido, if expecting real-life sex soon?
3. What's the community's take on "healthy," moderate PMO--for educational purposes in self-control and related sexual skills--in the absence of a sexual partner?

Again, thanks for thoughtful input from anyone. Cheers to real love and sex!
007.
 
Last edited:
Edging is widely agreed to be worse than just a normal relapse. It creates a dopamine superstorm and activates molecular triggers that keep you addicted to porn for longer. Reset your counter and start again, and banish edging from your nofap journey.
 
Also since you asked - porn for 'educational purposes' is bullshit. You don't need video instruction on how to have sex and please your partner....people having been fucking for millions of years producing billions of babies without a video lesson lol.

You're just playing with fire dude if you keep making these exceptions. My belief is that you're either all in or all out on this journey.
 
Hi again,

You post was very interesting, it was good to get an insight into your mindset. However, I'm sorry but I pretty much agree with everything @sakeen said above this comment. I'll elaborate though.

Firstly edging, It really is a terrible idea, you will be exposing your brain to a prolonged dopamine fix- as the poster above said it is generally worse than actually just masturbating and "firing one out" quickly. Not only are you still giving the brain what it wants it's also very dangerous in the sense that you will eventually need to ejaculate- you would be putting yourself through tremendous difficulty and temptation for no reason. In regards to how how edging will affect you in regards to premature ejaculation- honestly I can't say for sure- but I don't see how adjusting yourself to extended periods of pleasure via edging is going to help you feel comfortable with another person- if anything you may desensitise yourself to another persons touch.

As for Porn... honestly, everything you said about "realistic porn" use in an attempt to educate yourself.... NO, NO and NO- sorry but NoFap is a community of porn addicts and everyone here wants to get rid of the habit because Porn has damaged them in some way. No one here will ever tell you that any form of porn is ok nor would they advise you to watch any! Even guys who continue to masturbate and orgasm are still trying to abstain from porn at least- it's literally the worst of the PMO that you could do.

Secondly there is no such thing as "realistic" porn- anything you see will have had several takes, re-shoots- they give you the wrong idea about how you should act, how long you should last, even d**k size and how women act and react- it's all fake bullshit etc Porn is never real life and it is 100% not the way to show you how to be a good lover in real life.

You are actually talking about continuing to masturbate and watch porn- I assume you came to NoFap because you acknowledged a problem with your porn use/how masturbation was effecting you? Continuing to do both (even without orgasm) is completely counter productive to getting healthy.

Different people have different goals a lot of people (like me) are abstaining from PMO (I suffered with PIED during my last relationship) My goal is to complete a reboot and eventually start dating again- far in the future masturbation may be something I can do again- but porn use- never- Porn for most of us guys here is an addiction- we are trying to make a lifestyle change- it's not just "oh avoid porn for 90 days and then your good to go" - we don't want to view it again and shouldn't ever watch porn again- think of an alcoholic- say they spend 90 days sober- they do not then casually sip alcohol from time to time- they have to make a lifestyle change.

In terms of you meeting someone and having a long term relationship or even casual dating. I promise you, porn will never, ever give you an accurate idea on what a woman actually wants. It does not matter if at first you are inexperienced- everyone was at some point- you learn together- the reason that porn can't teach you is that a women, just like men are not all the same, so while one woman might enjoy something, another may enjoy something else- having sex with another person is about exploring sex together, and finding out what each other enjoys- porn isn't a how to manual on pleasing all woman full stop. Even with your premature ejaculation- that is something that men usually overcome with experience. For instance, while having sex there are many things you can do to lower the risk you will ejaculate to soon..
Focus on her and her pleasure- explore her body, perform oral sex- don't immediately go for penetration.

As I said before, every one on here decides what is right for them and no one can tell you what your journey should look like. But any form of porn use is not the way to improve your sex life, this whole website and community is about giving porn up forever- it's pretty much the basic thing everyone here will do.

Your brain is trying to trick you into giving it the high levels of dopamine by convincing you that edging is not as bad as masturbation with orgasm (in fact it's worse) and it's also trying to tell you that "soft" or "educational" porn would be ok- just take a moment and think about that - you're asking if masturbating to porn is ok... on a website of porn addicts who want to give up porn and have healthier sex lives.

P.S sorry if I have assumed your sexuality, I talked about you having sex with women- but if you are gay or bi- it all still applies :)
 
Last edited:
sakeen said:
Also since you asked - porn for 'educational purposes' is bullshit. You don't need video instruction on how to have sex and please your partner....people having been fucking for millions of years producing billions of babies without a video lesson lol.

You're just playing with fire dude if you keep making these exceptions. My belief is that you're either all in or all out on this journey.
Click to expand...

I agree with you- not be totally picky but Homo-sapiens have only been around for a couple of hundred thousand years and the earliest known "civilised" society around about 5000 years ago :P
 
James__Bond said:
Hey--Thanks for your reply!

I think what you say is definitely true, but I still have an objective concern on the matter.
What do you think the effect of non-finished masturbation may be on PE (Premature Ejaculation), regardless of whether its an excuse for a relapse or not?

Right now I'm not sexually active with a partner (Never been, except for a few one night stands), and my goal is self-improvement in dating, pickup, and sex. So, I want to use NoFap to help restore "superpowers" that usually go away with masturbation--that I need for my dating game. But, when it comes down to it, I also want to have the best possible sex, (Avoid PE, have high libido, and sex skills from "realistic" porn (more on that later).

So, my main concern is--if I start relapsing by unfinished masturbation--if I leave it there, won't it lead to most definite PE? (In my judgement, I have PE even with masturbation, but I want to minimize chances of it, however I can).

On the occasional porn thing--I feel like watching "realistic," natural porn could help prime my brain for real sex, and at least refresh/teach sex skills by observation--if that's at all possible.

Finally--and I'm sure it's been asked before--after whatever one considers a successful reboot--do you see a scenario with healthy, moderate amount of masturbation--not so much for recreation, but to teach/learn self-control and similar skills for real sex--in the absence of a real-life sex partner.

In summary--you're totally right--my brain may be using these issues to try to justify a relapse. However, even after unfortunately relapsing/resetting, my logical mind still sees an objective merit to these questions.

Also, I think it is worth highlighting the fact that while most of the NoFap community seems to be treating varying cases of PIED during sex--my main goal with NoFap is to facilitate a more active dating/sex life (with "superpowers" and libido directed towards dating/pickup), while my main concern in my initial post is a potential case of PE (not sure if masturbation-related) when the initial goal is achieved. Seems a bit complicated :)

Short Summary:
1. If I started edging, is it objectively likely that NOT finishing masturbation to orgasm will lead to MORE premature ejaculation than if I had "relapsed" and finished masturbating to orgasm
2. Considering a case of NON-heavy addiction--mainly to with erotica and light porn--does it make sense to allow limited, intermittent "educational" porn (think lady's porn) for--well, educational purposes? Or, for priming the mind and libido, if expecting real-life sex soon?
3. What's the community's take on "healthy," moderate PMO--for educational purposes in self-control and related sexual skills--in the absence of a sexual partner?

Again, thanks for thoughtful input from anyone. Cheers to real love and sex!
007.
Click to expand...

Hey,

I believe I can offer you the insight your looking for.

I was a PUA (Pick-Up Artist) and was part of the North England Lair. I became very good at it.

Forget about porn, even light or "reality" porn. It doesn't exist. It's there to facilitate fantasy. If you want to improve sexual technique, read She Comes First by Ian Kerner and Hot Sex by Tracey Cox.

Don't use edging in anyway. It's unnatural. Go out there and sarge. I personally think PE is lost through experience, though this is an assumption of becoming desensitised around women.

Read as many books as you can on topics like body language, NLP etc. Read Mystery Method (black book) for all the basics. Download and read SwingCat - Real World Seduction. It's the psychology of making her chase you. If you've not already, read The Game by Neil Strauss. Download RSD (Real Social Dynamics) Foundations by Tyler Durden. Also, make sure to join a forum with guys on it local to you and post field reports and any sticking points. Then meet up with guys off the forum, go out and sarge and practice 4/5 nights per week.

Inbox me if you need any advice. And keep me updated on your progress as I'm about to rejoin the community.
 
James__Bond said:
1. If I started edging, is it objectively likely that NOT finishing masturbation to orgasm will lead to MORE premature ejaculation than if I had "relapsed" and finished masturbating to orgasm
2. Considering a case of NON-heavy addiction--mainly to with erotica and light porn--does it make sense to allow limited, intermittent "educational" porn (think lady's porn) for--well, educational purposes? Or, for priming the mind and libido, if expecting real-life sex soon?
3. What's the community's take on "healthy," moderate PMO--for educational purposes in self-control and related sexual skills--in the absence of a sexual partner?
Click to expand...
1. Avoid edging altogether. This is speaking from experience. My primary problem was edging and I developed PE and eventually PIED.
2. There is no such thing as “educational” porn. As has already been said, people knew how to have sex thousands of years before porn was invented because it’s a natural act. Don’t use these excuses to justify porn use.
3. There is also no such thing as “healthy” moderate PMO. Everyone started with the vanilla stuff and all it did was make them eventually want more extreme stuff. It does nothing to help one’s ability. All it does is screw you up.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top