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Will having sex cause MO relapse? Any experiences please?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Soul Cage, Feb 2, 2014.

  1. Feb 2, 2014 #1
    Soul Cage

    Soul Cage Fapstronaut

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    I'm going away with my wife soon and due to the nature of the holiday we are almost certain to be having sex, which is wonderful, it has never been my intention to avoid that. However I am trying to abstain from PMO seriously in order to improve my attitudes towards my wife with regards to respect and non-objectifying, the cessation of fantasies etc.
    We haven't had sex in almost a month now for various reasons and she is unaware of my long term addiction and my efforts to abstain.

    Basically I am worried that having sex may trigger that 'chaser syndrome' that I have experienced before after sex, otherwise known as 'the fatal first wank'. I don't want to undo my progress so far and start off all those all too familiar feelings of lust again, I don't know where they will lead me back too.

    Has anyone else had experience with this and if so was it a problem?

    ....not having sex isn't an option.
     
    Soul Cage, Feb 2, 2014
    Soul Cage, Feb 2, 2014
    #1
  2. Feb 3, 2014 #2
    William

    William Fapstronaut

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    As you are aware of the chaser effect, I won't mention it. Know it could happen and be prepared. As for having actual sex--it's a good thing. Just make sure you are with her in the moment, and that you are not allowing porn fantasy in there while you are with her. In this way you are strengthening those reward pathways for sex as opposed to porn.

    Have fun on holiday!
     
    William, Feb 3, 2014
    William, Feb 3, 2014
    #2
  3. Feb 3, 2014 #3
    aron

    aron Fapstronaut

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    Although I read about the chaser effect I had no idea how powerful its effect was until my first relapse after 21 days. After that event I became aware of it and I managed to keep it under control and now I have sex several times a week without worrying about the chaser effect kicking in. Just being aware of it is enough. And like William already said it, don't entertain sexual thoughts while having sex. Actually, don't have any thoughts while sex, just be present in the moment, immerse yourself, body AND mind, in the act, and you will guaranteed to have extraordinary sex. (see Sex God Method for the role of immersion)
     
    aron, Feb 3, 2014
    aron, Feb 3, 2014
    #3
  4. Feb 3, 2014 #4
    Soul Cage

    Soul Cage Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou for the advice and encouragement, I guess knowing and seeing the problem, or catching your mind in the act is half the battle won. "strengthening those reward pathways for sex as opposed to porn" - that is definitely the name of the game here! :)

    feeling strong

    thankyou
     
    Soul Cage, Feb 3, 2014
    Soul Cage, Feb 3, 2014
    #4

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