will horrifying fetishes caused by escalation go away?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dovaferret, Oct 30, 2016.

  1. Dovaferret

    Dovaferret Fapstronaut

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    He's not saying its right? He's just saying what actually happened. Just as strait guys watch gay porn when they aren't into men, I have desires for porn that I don't IRL. His statement was accurate. I think the infidel straw man was a bit unnecessary. I didn't even say beastiality was right. I consider it animal abuse tbh. I'm just stating its legal in my state.
     
  2. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    Reading through your thread, ive seen a great number of responses, but not many answers to your question.
    I may get sidetracked as well, but will try to avoid that.
    As young as you are, your brain is flexible and reprogramable,you can reboot and leave your past behind, but you can't reformat your brain. What you have seen, you do not unsee. The images will be with you, but you do not have to dwell on them or idealize them.
    You can decide that your new life has more to offer, and convert what you thought were exciting images into dangerous and disgusting complications to the life you want. More useful than concentrating on leaving the porn, would be finding a future worth more to you than disgusting images.
    As you reboot, the strong urges fade to distractions that you learn to better avoid and control. Talking through your process will speed it along and deepen the healing. That can be done in a support group and/or with a professional therapist. Learning to live without the unearned dopamine bursts is not easy, whether they came from porn or crack. Just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean it isn't worth doing, or can't be done. It can be done, and having support helps. You can do it, and the sooner you get it done the better you'll be.
    Nobody else can tell you which future would be best for you, but a lot of us will tell you deffinitely that you that it does not revolve around porn and cannot be built on porn. The faster you can get off of this and on with your life, the better you will do. I dont know what excited you before you found porn. Looking back at it, you would likely chuckle at it now. Some day you will look back on porn in a similar way; it will be silly and powerless when compared to the life that you'll be living.
    How do you get from here to there? Just do it! Look forward, live, and never turn back to what you're leaving behind.
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    There are some unnecessary and unhelpful comments to your situation and your questions. But going back to the basic point of this thread... What you have experienced is the Coolidge effect. This occurs when novelty is required to maintain a high level of response. If you abstain from masturbation, edging, fantasizing and, of course, porn in any form whatever, then you will heal from this. Overstimulation has brought you to this place which leaves you feeling horrified by it all. This is temporary. It will go, but you must discipline yourself to stop any form of sexual stimulation for 9 -12 months, or longer.
     
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  4. ujjing

    ujjing Fapstronaut

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    Its up-to you, your life is all about the choices you made,nothing is impossible, you can live your life without such fetishes.
    But the thing here is that If you find the nudist and you don't get arousal, it may be effect of porn-addiction, don't be so sure that you will not get arouse in future when you see such thing, nofap help you in restoring your life back to non-porn mode only, cant change your brain, its you only who think inside your brain, ask therapist for help they are out there are for such thing only, here no one is specialized in treating such addiction, or either you give up watching such porn or may be you can change genre of your porn and try if it works but I really don't hope so, if your brain is stimulated to such fetish......
     
  5. Jae

    Jae Fapstronaut

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    I think most of these comments are misguided. They mean well, certainly.

    It's a common occurrence to get desensitized to one taboo form of pornography, then gradually move deeper and darker into the abyss that is addiction.

    I'd say I've watched some fucked up shit. Not meaning that I would ever engage in that stuff myself.

    As an example, I started out just looking a pictures. I told myself that videos were off limits. But you can only get off to a picture for so long until you need a gif, maybe an audio, then a video. The urges progress. You aren't a monster, and you definitely should never feel as bad as to wish you were dead. At least you're here now, in recognition that your behaivor needs fixing.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2016
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  6. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    I agree with @Jae completely.

    It's important to remember that YOU CAN KILL THE MONTSTER WITHOUTH KILLING YOURSELF. I can't stress this enough. You are certainly going to have to stop PMO for a good length of time. Enough time for your thinking to return or re-path to a safe and healthy way of coping with life. It's not easy but it's certainly not impossible. The benefits get better the longer you stay away from it.

    Please know that by being on here you are on the right path. Keep reading other's journals and please keep posting and continue to help yourself. Your condition is not permanent.
     
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  7. zathura

    zathura Fapstronaut

    @Dovaferret, as has been correctly stated, what you are experiencing is textbook Coolidge effect. It's an incredibly common phenomenon that as our addictions progress, we need to satisfy our addictions with more taboo forms of porn in order to get the same dopamine high we originally got in the early stages. Based upon what you have written, I do not believe your escalation to be cause for panic or even necessary for therapy just because of the genres of porn you escalated to. If that were the case, the majority of fappers on this site would require therapy. The decision to seek professional help is not something to be taken lightly, but the fact that you are here acknowledging your problem and seeking help for the issue is a significant first step in your recovery.

    Yes, there are things seen which cannot be unseen, but as an additional response to your original question, the need you have to seek out deviant forms of porn will diminish as long as you successfully rewire your brain and abstain from porn. My porn use escalated as well, and I was horrified just as you are by what I was (and in some ways still am) turned on by, but my need to seek out porn has significantly diminished since joining NoFap in July. My brain is not rewired, and I can very easily succumb to my triggers and fall back down into the abyss. I've found in my previous resets that I was able to enjoy vanilla porn again, but I also found it incredibly easy to revert to more extreme porn because the neural connections were still present. With successful reboots, those connections will rewire and we'll make new connections with healthier habits, and our brains will heal. We will not be cured of addiction, but We can contain it and gain control of our lives, but there is no casual porn use for addicts just as there is no social drinking for alcoholics. Once an alcoholic, there is no minimum amount of safe alcohol consumption. I'm a porn addict, and there is not minimal amount of porn or psubs that I can safely view if I wish to continue in my recovery.

    I will 2nd everything @Jae said above in that you aren't a monster. Shame and self-hatred are not the answers to recovery. They are the very things that drive us to our addiction because porn promises the ultimate comfort. The monster is your addiction. Your life is what is under attack, and NoFap and many other things, which may or may not include therapy, are the weapons to employ against your addiction. Please understand there's hope, and you will find the appropriate support in these forums. I encourage you to educate yourself through YBOP and start a journal to gauge your progress. Best of luck in your journey.
     
  8. Hofftari

    Hofftari Fapstronaut

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    You know, all your replies are packed with so much emotion stemming from your beliefs in this thread. Why? Is this thread about you all of a sudden?

    Instead of arguing about your beliefs, focus on what OP says about this and his attitude towards it. And he seems to know that these "fetishes" doesn't move him in the direction he wants to go in life.

    And hey, here in Sweden the age of consent is 15. Denmark is 15 too. Finland, Norway and UK has 16. Estonia has 14. Just because your country has a higher age of consent doesn't mean that OP is a "medieval infidel" all of a sudden.

    Let's work on supporting each other instead of talking shit, eh? :)
     
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  9. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I can only talk from my experience. I used to watch some really disturbing fetish stuff, but the thing, which aroused me wasn't the material itself. It was that novelty, as many said before. I watched stuff I had never seen before and didn't even know it existed. But as I watched it I noticed, that it is not normal to get turned on by those fetishes. So I stopped watching this extreme material (still watched "hard, but socially accepted" porn). I do not have any urges what so ever to go back to that shit, while I have insane cravings to watch the "normal" porn. So as far as I can tell, those extreme fetishes go away, if you stay completly abstinent from them. At least they did for me. When I think about the stuff I used to watch from time to time, it really disgusts me. I feel ashamed and I feel like I'm a horrible human being for finding stuff like that arousing in the past.
     
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  10. zathura

    zathura Fapstronaut

    No, I'm saying the majority of persons on this site experience an escalation of their porn viewing habits. Escalation and porn go hand in hand, and I don't believe escalation in and of itself is a cause for extreme measures. I know you are taking a hard line against child pornography in this thread, but I don't believe the OP to be a child pornographer, and based upon what he has written, I don't get the impression he's headed down that path. Rather than judging the content, let's address the question and the issue at hand - escalation. Since I don't know the OP, I'll speak for myself. Rape is illegal, and my porn escalation involved rape porn. I don't believe I need therapy because I PMO'd to rape porn, nor am I danger of raping anyone, but I have slowly become more horrified by what I used to be habitually aroused by. I can attribute this to abstinence and my reboot. I'm not cured, but I'm getting better, and I know what I need to stay away from. The more I educate myself in porn addiciton and involve myself in NoFap, the longer I abstain from porn, psubs, fantasy, or anything that provides my dopamine high, the more I will contain my addiction and further my recovery.

    As for therapy, I'm not a therapist or counselor or anything even closely resembling one, but the only time I would seriously recommend therapy to someone is if I believe they are a danger to themselves or others. I don't get that impression from the OP. Therapy isn't an option for everyone. It's a long, grueling process, and not every therapist is a fit, which is one of many obstacles. If the OP or anyone feels they need therapy, more power to them and I would never be against it, but I have hope for anyone who comes here looking for help and answers regardless of their past sins. It's the people who have no desire for help, who do not want to admit they have a problem, who willingly participates in the degradation of society with no regard or feelings for how it impacts themselves or others, those are the ones who are currently lost.

    We should all be horrified by what we view when we indulge in pornography. Some forms are worse than others. Child pornography is at the top of the list. If the OP came here asking about his habitual consumption of child pornography, he would most likely expect harsh judgment here, but at the same time there would be those who would attempt to help and guide him towards a solution from the exact same addiction all of us face - a dopamine addiction. The same mechanisms are at work, and all of us are looking for a way to break the addiction cycle and move beyond it.
     
  11. Hofftari

    Hofftari Fapstronaut

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    Ok, let's get down from the pulpit now. Obviously no one wants to hear your views the way you put them, so give it a rest.
     
  12. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Look Gaston; Prince Charming; Fake! You have a long history of courting controversy. You have given your viewpoint to which you are entitled. I cannot see how further posts in this thread by you will help the predicament of the OP. That's all.
     
  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Apologies, I didn't mean to imply you are fake. I used a capital F, denoting the beginning of your username, which I could not be bothered to type out in full, lol. As you inferred an 'attack', I assume that is why you tell me to "get a life already."
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2016
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  14. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    I have had the same problem. It's not that this dark stuff really does it for me its the fact that it is sick and depraved that gets me off because when you go too far down the rabbit hole the normal stuff just doesn't do it anymore. From what I have found with NoFap is that yes these desires do go away. I have been relapsing a lot but whenever I get to about the week mark I find that I am much more interested in normal healthy sexual encounters. My intrests and desires become what I would consider normal and this dark shit doesn't have any hold on me anymore.
     
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  15. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    Oh and I would like to strongly disagree with some of the comments on here. DO NOT GO SEE A THERAPIST! They cannot help you and at least in the US some my feel obligated to report you if they think you are into kids. Cut yourself off from porn, learn to meditate, post here daily. If you can make it to a week with no porn or masturbation you will see a big change in yourself.
     
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  16. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    I will 2nd everything @Jae said above in that you aren't a monster. Shame and self-hatred are not the answers to recovery. They are the very things that drive us to our addiction because porn promises the ultimate comfort. The monster is your addiction. Your life is what is under attack, and NoFap and many other things, which may or may not include therapy, are the weapons to employ against your addiction. Please understand there's hope, and you will find the appropriate support in these forums. I encourage you to educate yourself through YBOP and start a journal to gauge your progress. Best of luck in your journey.[/QUOTE]

    Exactly Zathura said shame and self hatred are not the answers. So many of the people who have posted in this thread are clearly poorly educated on addiction and they should not be posting their opinions and judgements here. You need to simply accept without judgement that you have these desires and this addiction. Beating yourself up about it will only make fighting it impossible. You didn't choose to become an addict or to be aroused by this stuff. It happened though and you need to accept that and make a conscious decision to fight it. Oh and I would strongly recomend you get and read this book: Breaking the Cycle https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cyc...1478100666&sr=8-1&keywords=breaking+the+cycle You will learn a lot about sexual addiction and how to fight it.
     
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  17. Jae

    Jae Fapstronaut

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    It's simply his opinionated advice. Just as you gave yours. We are all just giving suggestions. Whatever OP does is ultimately up to him.
     
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  18. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    It took Ted Bundy years to escalate, but he did for whatever reason. This is an example of where we don't want to end up.
     
  19. tricking mind

    tricking mind Fapstronaut

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    stick to IGY suggestion u will heal..its just dopamine addiction(P produces dopamine much more than normal level) ,u do it only for dopamine nothing else .dont mix it with ur moral values and religion ,if u do it than u r amplifying ur problem and it becomes much harder to break.try to understand the gary wilson ,watch it atleast 50 times even u dont want it .dont be prepared to watch P, be prepared in advance how u dont watch it,although its give u very opposite feeling but dont be afraid of uncomfortable feeling put ur in mind that if this feeling kill u than tell ur brain i m ready to kill by this feeling.its hard to feel but if dont hard work u will never be free,freedom always cost humanity ,u have to understand man our forefathers fought a lot to get the freedom.ask urself u want freedom or slavery and stick to ur choice.and most important thing replace the habit.good luck in your journey
     
  20. eagles228

    eagles228 Guest

    Personally, I never really moved onto more and more "depraved" versions of porn, which I'm thankful for. I always just watched "normal" hetero, one on one porn. But even within this genre I've noticed it effected my tastes in sex. For instance, I just find oral sex to be really arousing. I've had partners that enjoyed and were good at oral and some who hated it and were bad. I've unfortunately found that I really never seriously pursue a girl after I find that she isn't good at/doesn't like doing this.

    My point is even though I didn't move onto new versions of porn regular porn messed up my normal life just the same. Because I became fixated on the sexual act and ignored the fact that sex is an act of love and connection between two people. Nofap helped me fix this a lot. I'm still working on it and still just actively trying to live nofap by default. I guess I would ultimately say try to recognize that beauty in sex, the connection between two people who care about each other, and you'll likely find your desires for anything else go away.

    I see a therapist and I would highly recommend you do too. When I told him I had issues with porn I was so nervous, thought I'd be judged, etc. He took it in stride and said he had a ton of patients like me and informed me that there really is a huge movement in the mental health field to acknowledge and treat sexual perversion from porn more. So don't be hesitant to seek professional help if you have the financial means to.

    Best of luck. You're young. I realized I had a problem with porn when I was your age but it took me a couple of years to really get a handle on it. I wish I could go back to your age and stop then.
     

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