Will I ever be able to enjoy sex?

Hey guys, I'm very dissatisfied with my sex life and I could use some advice. First I'll give you a little background information about my problems.

I've been dating my girlfriend for just over a year. For the first three months of our relationship I never experienced an erection, even when she touched my penis while making out. In the fourth month of our relationship, I was finally able to get an erection and I lost my virginity to her.

I was thrilled to lose my virginity, however I found the sex to be extremely disappointing. I couldn't feel a thing with my penis. The only way I knew I was inside her was by sight. We had sex many more times, and though I began to feel more sensations in my penis each time, I couldn't orgasm. We would have sex for an hour or so until she asked if we could stop because she was tired.

About 5 months into our relationship, I unearthed a horrifying fact. I could cum during sex, but only if I fantasized about porn scenes I had seen in the past, or women other than my girlfriend engaging in extreme, porn inspired sex with me.

I can finally orgasm from sex, but the experience leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Is this all sex is? Just masturbating with someone else's genitals instead of my hand? I don't want to believe that.

I feel guilty because I know my girlfriend feels sexually insufficient when I watch porn. If only she knew the truth, it would break her heart. I feel disappointed because I've never gotten to experience mind blowing sex with a real person, the kind of sex I hear others talk of so delightedly. I need advice from people who have been in my shoes. If I stop masturbating and viewing porn, is there hope that I will ever have an amazing sex life?

 

My longest streak was about 150 days. It helped me become mkre sensitive, but not sensitive enough to orgasm without fantasizing. I think I have tp give up the fantasizing during sex. That's the only way I can see to have the sex life I want.