will it end ? am i normal ? why am i obsessed with these thoughts?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Black_Knight 1998, Jul 10, 2020.

  1. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    hi guys ,
    today is the 6th day or 7th day of my reboot, a while ago my family suggested girls for 2 times to propose to and in both time i felt that i can't complete my life with these girl and before sending my massage of breaking up i find them send massage says the same :D which makes my conscience calm.

    since 2 years and i'm really admired with girl but i didn't told her because her beauty is normal and the beauty standard in my mind is so high actually can't even judge on her physical beauty because sometimes i feel she's the most beautiful girl on the earth and in other time she is normal.:rolleyes:

    yesterday she confessed for me and i told her that i'm not stable emotionally:confused: because i have an OCD therefore i can't give her the sure exact decision currently i need at least 2 or 3 months maximum to complete my plan (actually to complete reboot ) she told me to go to psychiatrist ,so i told her that i'll do it even if i couldn't pass this 3 months (actually that's what i'm planning to do ) but for sure i told her only about the OCD not about PMO but i'm fighting both because both are strongly related with me. actually i was planning to go to her after the 3 months but she also did it before me :cool:.

    my problem is
    she is shorter than me i'm not sure how short she is but i think she is shorter than i like because i wanted a girl who's shorter than me but not to that extent, although i'm not sure how short she is . so i started to have strong intense thoughts about the she won't be good in bed although i read many topics says there's no big difference because most or all sexual positions can be change for a tall or short girl but i still have these thoughts ,and the worst when i see a girl in my height or slightly shorter than me i start to think the her height isn't good and start to think about certain thing which is i won't be able to kiss her while intercourse (in the same time)o_O , and start to think to have sex with the girl whom I've seen if they were in my height or slightly shorter than me although i deal normally with these girls and i may didn't think about these girls before, but mind is thinking about that, and she won't be good, and this makes me hating myself more than i do . and i didn't pay attention for her height because i didn't think about something like that before. and i didn't find an answer for the main problematic idea above .

    i feel i really love her and when i'm with her i feel so comfortable and happy actually i feel that i don't wanna go home and my obsession with her increased after her confession , but i don't know why such thoughts coming into my mind and i consider thinking about other girls as betraying for her true feelings regardless i hate it and i hate myself when i think about something like that ,so the feeling of betraying add more load on me .:emoji_confounded:

    note : we are in community believe in chastity ,so we can't ever think about sex outside the marriage actually when she told me her feeling she did in indirect way but i could force her to do it explicitly :cool: because i don't want to build everything on illusions and guesses o_O.

    my questions
    1- why do i have these thoughts ,is it because of my OCD and being in the 6th day of reboot ?
    2- will these bad intense thoughts as i go in reboot ?
    3- although i told her that i can't take any decision currently because of my situation and she told me that she understand , i'm still having an unexplained anxiety ?
    4- why do i always think about my sexual relationship will be bad or will fail, is it because of my OCD and OMP?
    5- i hate myself !:mad::mad::mad: for my OCD and for my PMO because i can't focus on the feeling of love instead think about something like this (kissing during sexual intercourse)

    thank you in advance if i couldn't replay in time:emoji_heart:
     
  2. Lol you kids and your reboot plans. Homie this OCD, ABC, 123 whatever. Cut the shit. You obviously love this girl and it looks like she loves you too from what you are saying. Go for it, take it to the next level and keep it smooth. The ups and downs are inevitable but love is still love.
     

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