Will no sex ruin my relationship?

Well, tbh, I’m pretty scared I might have ED. And after all this sex brainwashing bullshit. I have no libido. I’m just over it. I have a girlfriend but we’ve been separated by the borders for a long time now. I think we’ve both been brainwashed into liking different sex things that aren’t loving at all. I’ve revealed somethings to her in the form of just asking what she likes. And her not answering basically. So I say it differently and she says stuff like, no I really don’t want to do that kind of thing anymore. To the point she’s saying she despises it. Which is fine with me. I’d always wanted to make love with someone I loved and not just have sex (which I finally did with her and it brought me back to thinking of sex as a kid and how beautiful it was supposed to be).

I’ve been worrying since I had trouble getting it up in person. Even though everything about her attracts me. It just bothers me wondering if I’ll ever be able to get a proper erection and if it will get worse or not. Everything everywhere is always basically ramming the idea into my head that sex is make or break for a relationship. And it’s really putting suicidal thoughts into my head a bit.

We tell each other nice things like I’d still love her in a coma, and stuff like she’d still love me and be with me if my p never worked and it fell off. And it’s really nice. I just worry though. Like if it really never worked. Anytime I get depressed about it she’s right there for me. But I just worry sometimes if she isn’t actually thinking about it fully maybe? Pretty sure her last relationship was filled with a bunch of rough raunchy sex all the time. Just makes me a bit self conscious.

Im getting to the point in life. Where I’d be completely fine without sex. And basically feeling like it is something you do when you love someone so that you can start a family together. And that it should be sacred and special. And she’s agreeing with me about the special and loving part. And that we shouldn’t do anything raunchy or think about it. I just get so scared that if my penis actually never works what would happen? She’s really reassures me. I don’t know why I can’t accept it sometimes. I just want to love her and be with her for forever. For us to just be 100 percent there for each other. To have someone that is a true life partner we can both rely on. I want to to be someone she can just truly know is there and care about her like a family member does. And to get it back. I’d never not hold her and love her. This ED shit just is very depressing. It really is seeming like she is the one and is just so comforting to me about it, and about how we could never have sex and she’d be fine with that there for me. But my high depression levels (chronic for years upon years, over 10) and my lack of self love (probably due to issues caused by the internet tbh) I think are really getting in the way of me accepting this. And it just makes me feel even worse. Like a bad partner... I wonder if being separated for so long has something to do with it. As when I’m with her in person. I worry about absolutely nothing. And life is so genuinely peaceful like I’ve honestly never known since I was a small child. So much so that it’s making want to cry typing this.

This is more of just a release. But maybe someone might have a suggestion to help with me being able to take in her love and acceptance. Does anyone else think that you can have a long lasting forever relationship without sex? I personally think so, but society is basically screaming no. Any thoughts?

 

I just keep rereading that. It’s nice to hear that opinion. Thanks

 

We both think that’s kind of wrong. And that sex should be something special and loving shared between two people who love each other. I don’t see why she would need someone else’s penis inside her. I could always rub her while holding her and things like that.

 

Yeah, I suppose I should probably do that. And there’s always things I could do without a penis. Take lesbian couples for example

 

When I asked her (already knew what she’d say, but asked for fun) she literally got mad at me like are you for real?! wtf dude?! And, well that’s a hard no for me, I wouldn’t want to do that at all. And I personally feel the same way lol

 

Ha, yeah that’s kind of my perspective of it. If it’s so important. Why are people together 40 years after both their parts stop!?