will this ever end and fix itself? what should I do now?

this is my main fear now.
Im 36. I wasted my teenage and young adulthood on PMO.

Since last several years I try to cut this addiction down. Few days ago I reached 120 days, before that I had plenty of attempts with results like 80 days, 72 days etc (but this one is the first where I reached over 100 days) - I told myself ''okay after this I will have it under control''.

So I got drunk, visited escort and that wouldnt be too bad as it was planned - but then I relapsed having 1 orgasm on that night after coming home and 4 more the next day, all to porn.

So I guess this addiction is still there, maybe it will always be. I was almost more excited to watch at porn than to meet a real girl.

But then... if I am going to get another streak, I know I cant date girls. Or do online dating. Or have GF. I know that normal sex will deplete my energy levels ,too.

My problem is that : I love sex. I want sex. I need intimacy. I am single for like 6 years. With only one night stands here and there, but scarce.

If I am not going to have sex now, then when? When I will be 60? C'mon... I will have less energy than now. And then I will need to pay escorts because lets face it no young girl would ever want me. Lets get real.
So I am afraid that I am wasting the most precious years of my life- before I wasted it on PMO now Im wasting it on monk-mode. And the benefits are huge, no social anxiety and all that but... this is my dilemma. I know its not fully healed there yet (I shouldnt have be so excited for porn) - I know it helps me, but I am afraid I will again lose something if I abstain from sex... and yet, if I do have a girlfriend whos say 26 years old (I've meet one and the attraction and chemistry is there but I am hesitant of asking her out- what if I will lose all the energy after 4-5 times of having sex with her and become beta again) she would want to have feverish sex 5-6 times per week. She wont want to wait. And how I am to have sex often with anyone - I heard your body needs like 30 days to fully recover from one orgasm. Is this just what getting old means? I am scared

So what do I do now? Please, help.

BTW, I felt my energy going down after 5th orgasm this time. Up to 4th everything was ok. Now I am again in that anxious depressive pit. : /