Will we always relapse even if we stop for a very very long time?

I am going through something similar. The past month has been a time in which I have had to reboot more than once and almost blew it again today. I agree with you about willpower. It's good to have it, but it simply is not enough.
The only thing that has really helped me is the sessions with my psychologist. It isn't a cure, but since this need to PMO is so deeply entrenched in one's psychological makeup, I firmly believe it is necessary to speak openly about the issue with a trusted professional. Maybe one reason I have had such a shitty past month is not going and trying to handle it myself. It obviously is not working. I am not going to quit and I am not going to feel sorry for myself, but this addiction goes way deeper than I had thought.
I'm not sure if my reply is what you are looking for, but thanks for reading.

 

Sex is part of what makes us human. We are animals after all and we are hardwired to want to make babies. The point is not to get our brains hooked on "fake sex" aka porn and all the degeneracy being pushed on us. We shouldn't feel guilty about enjoying an orgasm or feeling sexual pleasure. It's much healthier, on so many levels, to enjoy an orgasm inside a woman than on a napkin/tissue. Candy is good, but fruit is better.

 

I also had poor results with just willpower and with cold turkey. So now will try some Tao and sexual transmutation. Because to merely suppress and repress the sexual urges is only a temporary fix. In my case I end up running out of willpower and then fap.

I think its better to take all that sexual drive and to USE IT to accomplish positive things in my life. Not to just "ignore" our urges and "distract ourselves" from them.

 

Have you sought out a specialist in finding a psychologist? I'm becoming aware that I probably should seek professional help for this, but I'm not so sure that a regular psychologist would have the experience/awareness necessary to truly help me.
There's also the real scary part, which is that effective therapy requires complete honesty on behalf of the client... Which makes me shy away from the idea. Cheers

 

Thanks. My psychologist, who is great, has put forth the idea that I should see someone whose speciality is matters of sex. It took me years to finally tell this psychologist about my PMO, so I am still a bit reticent about seeing someone else, but I know it is probably a good idea. But between living the lie and being honest with a professional should be a no brainer, right? I appreciate your reply.

 

Awesome, thank you for the insight
Admittedly my pursuit of therapy has been lacking for the last couple of years- 12 consecutive years of making real slow progress built up I guess. It seems that anywhere's a good start though, and I'll end up finding more specialised support as I go on.

 

You gotta create new stronger pathways that your brain now likes more than porn. It's all chemical

I almost want to be a storm chaser, or paranormal investigator. To get my high, which by the way I don't think getting high is necessarily a bad thing.

Just gotta do it. Find your high man, just make sure it's a good one!

 

Whatever high I go for, it's going to have to be something that isn't a drug and overall, pretty damn powerful! I think I've fried my neurons just a little over the last 20 years...
TBH one thing I would like to do is travel around habitually, seeking novelty in that way I guess... I feel so stagnant having lived in one place for the last 2 years.

 

I think if you read the entire brainonporn website that you would know more about PMO than 80% of psychologists. We already know the treatment: Abstinence. So I am wondering what is the benefit of confessing our sins to a shrink that we yanked our crank at 3am

Whats the shrink going to do? Recommend you to stop PMO. But you already know that and I think a forum like this with its anonymity is more comfortable place to confess our sins at least with like minded fellows that are less likely to judge.

 

From experience, it depends on your psychologist or counsellor. I am very fortunate. I have worked with an excellent one for a long time.
The context is not "confessing sins" and there is no "judgment."
I fully understand that not everyone has had good experiences with psychologists, but this has not been my case.
I was very nervous about initially discussing this with her, but it has been absolutely fundamental to my recovery, let alone my mental health.
I know abstinence is great, but why do you think so many guys can't, or can't completely do it? We are all different. PMO was never just about porn - it was a reflection of my entire life - for over 4 decades. I needed help and I got it.
I know all I need to know about PMO. It sucks. I need to know better who I am and why I am having trouble letting PMO go. Speaking to an empathetic listener should not be written off.

 

She is not specialized in it and we plan on her linking me with someone who is such a professional. Yes, I do think it will play a role in weakening the addiction, but it depends on a lot of factors. If you are covered by it with your job or you can find some kind of free counselling, I definitely would take that step. It requires courage. It may work out. It may not! I can only speak for myself, but the best thing I have ever done regarding PMO is opening up about it to a person I strongly trust. It made me feel more of a person, not less. But, I agree, it's a personal decision.

 

In my opinion, compulsive porn consumption, like any other drug abuse, is the symptom of a deeper psychological problem.

If you really want to quit porn and not feel emotionally attached to it or controlled by it anymore, you have to get serious about turning your way of thinking upside down and face your psychological issues head on.

You might not know exactly what those issues are, but your porn habit shows that there indeed are issues that need to be addressed.

I don't think one necessarily need to see a sex therapist alhough it can certainly help. But you should definitely start with a general psychologist. You can mention your PMO addiction but I think they will guide you in exploring your past and help you question yourself and understand yourself to change the way you approach life and relationships and develop healthy coping mecanisms.

 

Like I said earlier. What is the point of telling a shrink about the PMO? What can they do other then advise you what you already know .........which is to cut it out and to try to minimize triggers but you can get all that style of advice on this same forum FOR FREE.

For me the PMO is a sort of coping mechanism. Coping for the difficulty it takes to get a real girl, Coping for the stresses of life and when things dont turn out positively. Coping with feelings of inferiority, ugliness, being too poor, being too stupid, letting your parents down, not being a winner in life, not being a burly macho-man

 

Not to get into a big thing about it - I do respect your opinion, we all have our own ideas. But point about seeing a psychologist or therapist is based on experience. Secondly, my experience did not tell me things I already knew. I have learned more about myself and my life than I had ever thought possible. Some of great. Some of it not. So, your premise is incorrect. It remains an important learning experience. There is no doubt PMO is a coping mechanism. But none of the things you mention above have a thing to do with me. And even if they did, what is wrong with exploring these things with a professional?
Addictions, as you know, affect people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. Your point of view is merely telling them to stop. Well, addicts of all kinds would love to, if only it were that easy.
If just being abstinent is working for you, and you haven't masturbated in eons and you feel great - my hat is off to you. I wish I could be like that. Unfortunately, I cannot.

 

what helped you change your perception of porn? I’ve been struggling to maintain the view of it as worthless over time.

 

Amen. Just to tack on, while I have not talked about PMO with a therapist, in my experience, I have had instances where saying something out loud to a therapist rang out in a much different way than just having the same thought in my head. While the prospect of seeing a therapist is certainly daunting, don't discount it completely.