Will Women Know?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Mar 14, 2018.

  1. This may seem like a shallow question, but will there ever come a point where abstinence will lead women to a level beyond the 'super power' of them simply noticing you? I noticed the eyes and greetings when I first started (though never during previous periods of abstinence), even though I didn't know to expect them. My own personal benchmark of gold-star success would be attractive female-initiated interaction, so a quantum leap beyond the smile is desired. I've already figured out the biology of the smile as assessing a higher-quality mate, but I'm not ashamed to say I want more.

    Could it happen, and if so, what are the likelihoods and guideposts I should be looking for?
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Sure. Why not?

    Take it another level and have them giving you money randomly on the street as well.

    You will never have to put any effort or risk rejection ever again.

    All pain, problems, and negative experiences are behind you for now on.


    All jokes aside.

    Spoiler alert = There's no super powers.

    Being free of pmo simply creates space for you to focus on better things in life.

    This isn't a cheat code. It's the starting line for you to put in the real work.
    NightReaper775 and Tonchikukuch like this.
  3. I understand you meant it in jest, and I've certainly taken it as nothing more, however this has been the very honest truth, since LONG before I was M'ing. I stopped counting in the 80s as to number of times I was rejected, and I had never M'ed at that point. Effort and and the risk of rejection were not only not acknowledged (for lack of a better word), they proved detrimental. Needless to say, I'm very adverse to putting myself 'out there'. Real work I've done in the past (meditation, exercise, higher education, improved dress sense, battling mental health issues) has resulted in no results in this field, so I'm trying to establish what will produce results.

    The cheat code/starting line analogy is nice though.
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Okay. At least your head is in the right direction. Just know that things aren't just going to happen out of nowhere just because you stopped masturbating / watching porn / orgasms / whatever. Like I said, you will simply have more time and energy towards developing your reality. In this case, you're most interested in meeting women.

    That's what your question and forum topic should be about.

    What women and anyone in general will notice is your behavior. Your eye contact, facial expressions, the way you walk, your vocal tonality, your enthusiasm, your posture, body language, etc. Your behavior is connected to your thoughts and emotions. People are more likely to desire being around you or interacting with you when you look like somebody that's approachable. Like somebody that has positive thoughts / emotions / behavior and how that could possibly affect their lives in a better way as well. That's what's noticeable. Not some nofap forum counter.
    Taoist Wizard and Gooding like this.
  5. Hey brother,

    Remember that women are wired to find good men that are best for them for the purpose of biological reproduction. They are seeking men who are protectors for their future family so in that case, we men need to become the best men we can be:

    body, mind, and spirit - work on each one of them and you'll be the best man

    Women love CONFIDENT man. Learn from each rejection and turn that into a positive experience.

    Say hello and smile to a woman. Compliment her and have no expectations.
  6. Yes they do. This is my one real concern out of the this process, as I don't have, and aside from brief glimmers in my life, have never had confidence. Life experience has never given it to me in any great deal, and despite the resiliency I've had to keep on going, confidence is the one thing that has eluded me. It's not as if you can do set of reps at the gym for it, and I've passed out from alcohol usage before the supposed 'confidence' it provides kicks in.

    I think we can safely assume I'm long past having expectations. I'm so far past it I don't bother with compliments as empirical evidence has proven that they produce minimal responses, and sometimes even negative ones.

    I am painfully aware of my main shortcoming. I've just never encountered a surefire method to overcome it.

    Anyone know where I can order his videos?
  7. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    During my reboot, I learnt the difference between attracted to women versus distracted by women... I also realized women smiling and sometimes talking to me. These are Strangers that I don't know at work or gym. None of it is sexual.

    Even after I complete recovery, fix my PIED, where I live, for what I am physically, I don't have any hopes that women are going to be interested in flirting, making out or have sex with me...

    But it is no longer bothering me...
  8. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    You want something unrealistic. This is not how it works.

    Have you ever wondered why woman wear a make up or strong parfumes or sexy clothes? Because they want to catch your attention. Why they smile or give you frequent eye contact? Because they want to catch your attention. They see a high quality male and they are like screaming silently "here I am this beautiful high quality woman, please notice me and come and get me". This is typical feminine behavior and strategy.

    On the other hand, your masculine energy comes from that you are a man and you go for what you want. The more you are masculine the more you go for what you want. You want a job you like --> you have to go for it, you want to have more fun in your life --> you need to create it, you want to be with that beautiful lady that tries to catch your attention --> you have to go for it and talk to her. You see now how feminine complement masculine.

    When you do the NoFap you dont do it so can parade and try to catch woman attention. That's feminine and feminine-feminine dont go together. Remember chasing is masculine trait.
    No you do NoFap to get your shit together, get your life together, work, hobbies, friends, to become that high quality male which attention woman tries to catch (eye contact, smiles) hoping that you will like them and go for what you want.
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
  9. Exactly! Males chase females and females are the ones to select the mate.

    Now you are a man! You want a woman? You have to chase them. They aren’t going to chase you at all. They want to be pursued and courted. Once you win her heart, she’s yours!
  10. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Often, women wear makeup and perfume because they like how it makes them look or smell, but also because society pretty much demands it of women in public. It's not always necessarily because we're trying to find a mate.
  11. I think many women wear make up and jewellery because they are insecure. How often might a woman say (or think), I wouldn't go out without "fixing my face"! o_O Women laugh at men who are (admittedly) hung up (no pun intended, lol :D) about the size of their dick. Yet women have much greater anxiety over their appearance than men do. :rolleyes: Ironic is it not?
    Ragnar_Lothbrok and JustinX like this.
  12. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Society doesn't dictate men 'fix their face' before they leave the house. If a woman is seen without makeup it's automatically assumed she's either lazy, doesn't care about her appearance or she's ill. There's major double standards going on when it comes to stuff like this.
  13. Personally, I think that make up detracts from a woman's beauty. Don't get me started on botox injections and cosmetic surgery. o_O I have seen plenty of documentaries about these issues where women state they do these things, for them.
    Ragnar_Lothbrok likes this.
  14. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    Here are the guide posts I would look for!
    Women in places where you are already often present, will initiate eye contact, smiles.
    The fact that you are able to talk to a women about real stuff. Like how is their school or work, their health, their opinions, hobbies...
    IMO you should try interactions with opposite sex that has NOTHING sexual in your mind at all... I am not sure whether I am explaining it well. Sexual interest comes later after some interaction. Instead of that being a precursor.

    I wish you all the best
  15. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    IMHO all generalizations are false!
  16. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    This is not true. Would a woman wear a makeup or perfume on desert island, if she would be the only one on the island just because she likes how it makes her look or smell?
    I dont think so. Things like this are always wearing for other people.
    I am keen to agree on this one, though the society do no demand to wear heavy makeup that is rather popular nowadays.
  17. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] Distinguished Fapstronaut

    That is the most contrived scenario ever...would ANYONE do ANYTHING they normally do on a desert island? Seriously.
  18. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    This is question is actually corner stone of my life philosophy.
    Whatever I do I always ask myself would I do (or don't do) it if I am alone on the island? And I always act accordingly, no matter what. It is a best approach to break approval seeking behavior, stop caring what other thinks of you, stop pretending, be total yourself, be absolutely authentic. And it is very liberating. You should try it sometimes!
  19. Thank you for pointing this out to me. A common shortcoming I've found in my relationships is that I've never felt my partners were particularly feminine. It's never something I felt comfortable bringing up because these were actual women who wanted an actual relationship with me, regardless of how bad some of the relationships were. (one stemmed out of a pity f*ck and two were using me as a source of attention whilst they pursued something else). I had long given up on doing the chasing because I was sick of the constant rejection. (I stopped counting in the 80's, and no, there was no 'yes'). As noted elsewhere, M wasn't my problem at this point in my life, or at other points. There were two that were good, but neither of them particularly cared for being feminine, and one was violently opposed to it. I would like to think of myself in a feminist (as a way to achieve equality, not to 'pick up'), and asking someone, anyone, to do something they don't want to do is something I have often been on the receiving end of.

    I guess I was hoping for a magic bullet, or at least magic laser sight, to help deal with this issue. I've read numerous pick-up texts, and even the ones that claim to have the 'girls chasing you' still have you going up to them and talking to them. I've gone through many of the external factors to get the other party to do the work (good clothes, expensive haircuts, placing myself in 'high quality' locations), but even with semen retention it's still going to be me who has to 'do the work', as it were. It's all really quite off-putting, in a 'I really don't bother dealing with this human-human interaction business' way, not in a 'I think I'll go relapse' way.

    I'm sorry that this lingering question may be detracting from the serious issues that this forum deals with. I was honestly hoping that my participation would help with this.

    I'm thinking that it's my own lack of confidence, stemming from something WAAAY back in the past, continues to be a primary source of my problems.
  20. Perhaps, let me ask you a question:

    Do you want a girlfriend now? Is that your desire?
    Gooding likes this.

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