Will Women Know?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Mar 14, 2018.

  1. That is a great philosophy to have, however, I have few hang-ups that would hold me back with that;

    1) I'd be great alone on a desert island. I have decades of survival training and I'm an introvert.

    2) I live in a world that has other people in it, and as a biological creature, I'd like to spend intimate moments with some of them. This isn't animal kingdom, where a pretty plumage works. I need a lot more.

    3) Running away and living alone on an island (complete with outrigger canoe) was the dream of an 8 year old me. 8 year old me wasn't interested in sex. (40 year old me isn't that much either, but that's probably the flatline).
  2. At this very second; no. I'm going through a reboot, and even though I've given myself sex as a possibility, someone else isn't what I want right now.

    In the future; by the forest moon of Endor, YES! I want lots of girlfriends, from all over the planet.

    My raising of this question was, as I've admitted above, the rather vain hope that abstaining from M would result in the other party doing the work. I was looking forward to a day, 6 months or two years henceforth, where women would chase me. I think it would be nice to be the one with some say in how a relationship went for once, rather than acquiescing to her demands.
  3. I know the feeling bro, it can be too overwhelming sometimes, doing all this chasing and being rejected, but, what can we do? I personally find myself to be not the attractive stereotype, and ended up focusing much more on other areas of my life. Sure, I would love to have a girlfriend but I also still don't quite know what I want, I'm still trying to find out.
    I think rarely women will chase us, it's quite a stablished dilemma that they shouldn't. Too bad, how I wish it happened to me!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Based on my dating experiences, women rarely chase. It’s usually the men that’s chasing women.

    That’s why I’m focusing now on becoming the best man I can be: working out, eating right, etc.

    It’s great that you are focusing on NoFap now! That’s a great start.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    You didnt understand it absolutely correctly. Its more about figuring out what you would do if nobody was watching, judging or influencing you. Basically what your true self would do. One example for all:

    I started with comfort zone crusher inspired by this TED talk. Task is to lay on busy street for 30 seconds without caring what other people will think about you and afterwards just stand up and walk away like nothing happened. Scary as fuck, just imagine doing it. But it is not so scary to do it if you would be on lonely island where is nobody else. That made me think how much I sacrifice my needs just to please people around me that in the end dont give a fuck about me anyway. After some time I have done it, even multiple times on Oxford Street in London. Then followed other things like singing loudly on street. I like singing while listening music and I realized why shouldn't I do what I like just because of other people's thinking. It would not be hard to sing on lonely island so I started to do it and still do it in city full of people (London). It help me to shift that if I want something I just go for it no matter what (that masculine energy). This did not happened from day to day but it lasted me months to develop it and still there is a space for improvement.

    Ultimately now when I see a girl I like a lot I dont care anymore what other people around me think of me or the situation if I start to talk with her (its like lying on street or singing on street), I dont care even what she thinks of me (it's like I am lonely on lonely island and my needs matter most). And I realized that my real needs are not to be successful with her, or to get her number, or get her like me or to get her sleep with me but the real needs are to find out if I really like her, if I find her funny and enjoyable enough and if I do then to find out if she is also interested. that is all that actually matter to my inner self. Nothing else is important.

    You see this thinking with lonely island helps you focus what your true self really want and also helps you to develop unshakable confidence to go for what you want no matter what. Not only you got to do what you like but also you dont need to lie or pretend anymore (there is no need for that on lonely island). Truth is you will polarize people some thinking that you are total selfish asshole (those who just dont understand you) and those who will love you much much more than before because they will feel authenticity, genuine confidence and honesty soaking from you.
    And it is always better to have in your life handful of people who really like you and appreciate you, then to have 1000 facebook friends who consider you nice but actually dont give a fuck about you at all. And this is what the lonely island life philosophy is all about. Hope it is clearer now.
    seaguy44 and Deleted Account like this.
  6. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    Good job. It took me quite some time to figure that out and then to correct the wrong thinking, beliefs and behavior developed from early childhood.
  7. Wtf is this? Please explain obscure references like this.
  8. Oh, so you're the one person who didn't see Star Wars? It's reference to the place where the Ewoks (little furry critters) live in the 1983 film Return of the Jedi. I was using it to and emphasis to my exclamation.

    @JustinX, your in-depth explanation, with examples, proved much more enlightening on your philosophy. I'm not sure how much I can fully embrace it due to work requirements (railway guard, what most people would call a 'conductor', only with less ticket-checking), but I know that myself on an island would be a lot different from myself among the herd. Thank you for giving me something to work on.

    I can see how this would work within social dynamics, and how the confidence given off by sheer audacity of it could work in your favour, but apprehension on my part stems from my lack of confidence and the empirical evidence I have regarding interactions; +80 approaches with rejections, 4-5 cases of less-than-ideal partners making the move leading to, objectively, better results. Yes, the relationships may not have been good, and in the end, the other party always left, but whilst I was there, I was invested fully in it, my own personal happiness and success be damned. I did try to break up in one case, from one of the 'good' relationships, but her crying and pleading made me back out and stay with her for another year or so.


    Okay, so the problem lies with me. I need to finally join the phylum Chordata. Easier said than done.

    Yes, much. The few real friends I have all appreciate me because of my honest. Clarity achieved, thank you.
  9. Oh, haha, very droll! :rolleyes:

    Yeah, guilty as charged: I do not like science fiction (nor did I then as a teenager).
    Deleted Account likes this.

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