Hey guys, first and foremost I would like to tell my story so that you can help me as best as possible. I'm 23 and been fapping since elementary school(I was about 12?).Basically I started with this stuff because of curiosity. My classmates were talking about it in the class so I decided to give it a try. If I remember correctly I sometimes "scheduled" when I would masturbate even when I wasn't horny. I was getting older and my addiction was getting worse. I also remember days after I fapped I was still horny but I never fapped two times a day - to put it correctly -> maybe I fapped 2x in 24hrs but I'm sure that I have never masturbated more than one time in just ONE day. When I was around 18 I decided to fight my addiction. I'm a christian so I tried this way - praying to God, going to confess, going to church almost every second day,etc..). At the beginning there were no improvements but then somehow I succeed and I survived around 6 months without masturbation. I still remember benefits of these days without masturbating. Clear head, more time, comfortable around women and so on. Even if I saw some pornography by mistake I didn't get horny and I really didn't have any urges at all. But then, there was school trip to Spain(which lasted about 10 days). I was quite busy there and also cocky because I thought my porn and masturbation addiction was over. During that trip I kind of screwed my spiritual life. Unfortunately, urges were slowly coming back once I got back home. Then one day I relapsed after ~6 months and since then I managed to survive only about 10 days without masturbation. I also would like to mention that most of the time I was only looking at sex gifs, playboy models videos and photos. As far as I'm concerned I did not watch porn videos at all. Not sure if this helps but I have been also using various home-made sex-toys. Here's a little problem - I both want and do not want to stop with my addiction. I kind of like it but on the other hand I'm aware it causes me troubles. Maybe my biggest problem is that I do not have strong motivation to stop with this addiction. Currently I'm on day 3. Thanks in advance for any help and advices. Really appreciate it.
First and foremost , i invite and implore you to read countless of descriptions of pain , suffering and misery in this same site itself...im not saying it in a purgatory , archaic or orthodox way...the pain is real , there are myriad of strange issues that people ( including me ) are suffering from coz of PMO right now , and i kid you not , no doctor tells people like us whats wrong with us , no test report can tell whats wrong but still , somebody is suffering from heart palpitations , another from fatigue , another from migraines , another has lost the will to live and you notice something , this is all normal stiff isnt it ? Well its not so strange to feel fatigued or depressed or have a high heart rate in once in a while but listen carefully brother , when i say fatigue it means constant fatigue , it wont leave you for a second , it'll cripple you mentally and physically , wont even let you fill up a glass of water and drink it coz youre thirsty... when i say heart palpitations it means the person having them will experience them day and night , it feels like ones heart will explode ,...when i say migraine and depression it means suicidal thoughts day and night , losing the zest to live....beleive me its crazy , there is madness on this path that youre going on , sooner or later... Whilst my tone and speech will seem like im some geeky orthodox christian but im not , im just a 21 year old guy , a former PMO addict on the path to recovery..and ive written this coz ive felt some of it ( fatigue ) and ive read countless descriptions and encounters from others ellaborating the issues they suffer from... Dont let this vile addiction take over you... Sooner or later it will harm you in one way or the other..god forbid , if it harms you as severely as it harmed the people here.. YOU CAN EITHER BE HERE OR THERE..EITHER IN OR OUT.. It might seem like im exaggerating but once you read what ppll are going thru , what im going thru , all my exaggeration ( if any ) will stand justified... Why not let it all be natural...feel urges like a normal guy , find normal ways to quench those urges , find a woman willing to be with you, why jerk off to some naked woman appearing on the screen...why take this risk..?..
