Wimp to Pimp in 45 Days

KingGray · Oct 17, 2018

drewharbour said: ↑

what sparked the relapse?
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Well, the short answer is "weakness".

The long answer is that the stress from my dysfunctional marriage, inevitable divorce and lack of healthy coping strategies led to my relapse.

My current life sucks, but it's 1000x better than when I was married. Instead of building me up, it tore me down. I'm in a much better place to focus on beating PMO and my current streak has been much easier than past attempts.

DoGoodStayClean · Oct 17, 2018

When I read your old postings I wondered how you could stay married, especially with that sneaking thing with your brother-in-law. To me it sounded even worse than the sexual cheating.

Fighting in a marriage is the worst that can happen.

Heads up.

Ra's Al Ghul · Oct 17, 2018

P.I.M.P.

Deleted Account · Mar 16, 2020

KingGray said: ↑

Forty-five days ago I was a weak. I’m now halfway through my 90 day challenge and am 5x the man I was a short while ago.

By all external measures I had it all; A great job with a six figure salary, a beautiful wife, an awesome son, and a wonderful home in an upper middle class neighborhood in Los Angeles. PMO sent me into a downwards spiral, jeopardizing everything. My wife cheated on me for years, I've jeopardized my job, and a fit of rage landed me in the hospital with a broken hand that required dozens of stitches, surgery and a metal plate. Some of this is detailed in My First Journal Entry (but not all, as even with anonymity I was too afraid and embarrassed to admit to everything at the time).

PMO somehow had numbed me to the joys of life. I thought I wasn't a foodie, because I didn't enjoy the nuances of a meal prepared with care. I thought I didn't like social affairs - by and large they seemed full of uninteresting people repeating the same conversations. The pinnacle of my existence was PMO; and it was better than any meal, any conversation, and any other joy I had known.

The worst part is that I had no idea of the extent of my addition or it's effects until I started working on it. If you have any inkling that you may be addicted to PMO, I strongly encourage you to try NoFap for 30 days, in earnest, to access your situation.

NoFap is transformative. The benefits have allowed me to accomplish an incredible amount in a short time and I believe the effects will compound, creating results beyond my wildest dreams.

The Results

I’ll expand on some of these later, but here’s a quick summary of some of what I experienced:

More time since I’m not looking at, obsessing over, and fapping to P.

More energy since I’m not shooting my vitality into a dirty sock a few times a day.

Improved focus and energy. My memory and comprehension are better and I’m killing it at work.

Mad Swagger. More confidence, better body language, better voice, stronger eye contact.

Better in sexual performance. Hands down. Not only could I bend iron pipes over my erections, I’m more connected and present during sex. I can read my wife’s body and am more intuitive than ever before in my life.

Deeper connections. My relationship with my wife has never been better. I’ve also reconnected with several friends from my past as well as making new friends.

Chicks dig me - I wouldn’t say that I’m a chick magnet, but I have developed relationships with a few extremely attractive women recently. I’m married, and the relationships are platonic; however, there is a strong sexual attraction (on both sides I believe but this will go untested).

I don’t believe NoFap is the sole reason for all of the results; however, the additional time, energy, and motivation that NoFap provided allowed me to focus on improving my weak points.

On Loneliness, Sexual Frustration and PSubs

One of the hardest parts of NoFap was the loneliness. All of my free time has previously gone to PMO, and now that I wasn’t fapping anymore I didn’t know how to use this time. This lead to moments of extreme loneliness, desperation and sexual frustration. I found a few ways to deal with these issues, but it was a journey.

I indulged in PSubs at first. I didn’t fully understand what a PSub was at first, which is why it was so easy for me to slip into. I looked at Instagram booty models, found partners to sext with, arranged meetups on dating sites (but never went through with it), etc. These were all unhealthy habits that gave me the dopamine rush previously obtained through PMO. Fortunately, I was able to recognize this and cut out these bad habits.

NoFap withdrawal has caused sexual and emotional extremes. Some days I’m without question, the horniest man in the universe. Other days my dick is deader than Jesus, and I wait patiently for his second coming.

Living without O is hard. Blue balls are real, and painful. For me, they’re especially painful when doing cardio, but this has subsided. I’ve also had the first wet dream of my life, which fortunately was less messy than I thought it would be.

The Truth about “Urges”

Many people on this board, including myself, speak about “urges”. What we often fail to speak to is the power and form of these urges.

Warning: I’m about to sounds like a lunatic.

My addiction has a voice. It has a will. It whispers into my ear when I’m alone, saying things like “You’ve gone X days. You’re doing good. Fapping just this one time will not hurt”, “You deserve this”, etc. It knows me, and says things that are EXTREMELY persuasive. I know it’s me, but it’s not me at the same time. I literally argue with myself within my own brain. I think this is “cognitive dissonance”, and it’s very hard to deal with.

Additionally, sometimes the addiction practically controls my body. I’ve find my hands involuntarily moving to my crotch and attempting to do things that I did not request on several occasions.

These are things that I simply summarize as “urges” in my posts. The reality is that the urges are powerful, persuasive, and can’t be underestimated. Fortunately, they get weaker with time, but you have to keep your guard up because they come when you least expect them.

Please do not underestimate the strength of the urges, nor the value of having an accountability partner, this community, goals, timers, etc. Without this community I never would have made it this far.

On Sexual Awakening

NoFap has transformed sex from a biological function to something spiritual and deeply satisfying. It’s more than just stronger erections, and less ED. My wife says that I’m more “present and connected” during our sessions. I definitely feel a deeper connection during our lovemaking, and I’m excited that she can too. This alone would be enough to justify NoFap. I suffer from DE, and still haven’t had an O during intercouse, but my sensitivity has improved and I have no doubt that I’ll be able to finish during sex soon.

Some days I objectify every woman I see. I combatted this by using a technique I read somewhere, “View every woman as if she was your mother, sister or daughter.” This technique was extremely helpful and before long I was connecting with women on a level that I never had before. I was having real conversations, about real things, and starting developing friendships.

As I got more comfortable talking to women as friends I noticed that there are stark differences between interacting with women and men. I believe there’s always some level of sexual tension when a woman and man communicate. I’m working to embrace this, without objectifying the person or over sexualizing the relationship.

I’m still working to find the balance, but it has been an exciting and rewarding journey. I’ve discovered the “manosphere”, a community dedicated to topics of masculinity, etc, and started to dive in.

On Social Anxiety, Confidence and Game

I suffer from Generalized Social Anxiety (SA). I've displayed symptoms early in life, and my SA likely made me more susceptible to PMO. As we know, PMO can make SA worse. It's a vicious cycle.

NoFap has helped improve my SA. Also, with the additional time, I've started online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) at socialanxietyinstitute.org. The combination of the two have helped me tremendously, and I'm now able to move more comfortably in situations that would cause a great deal of anxiety. I'm able to be me. I am more free than ever before in my life.

I've also started studying the art of seduction, pickup, etc. I am a married man, but I feel that knowing how to flirt, escalate, and the basic of game have given me confidence in addition to teaching me how become more attractive to my wife (and other women - which also boosts confidence). Also, I'm a firm believer that increased confidence, game, and social intelligence and be used in a business context as well.

In addition to reading articles from around the Internet, I've stumbled on a few gems:

1) The Flow - This eBook is riddled with typos, but is a quick read and an excellent primer on the basics of pickup, conversation and escalation. It provides a solid and well rounded end-to-end framework, and I've put many of the techniques into practice. The focus is on confidence, presence, and adopting beneficial mindsets.

2) How to Win Friends and Influence People - A classic. This book teaches you how to “win friends and influence people”, in plain english. It backs up its statements with clear examples from people we know, love and admire. I’m still working my way through this one, but understanding its principals has given me additional confidence, will probably make me more likable, and give me an edge.

3) The Red Pill on Reddit - Very politically incorrect discussion on sexual strategy from a male perspective. If you’re coming from a world of deep P addiction, as I am, you’ll find their self-proclaimed political incorrectness to be quite tame by comparison. There are many strategies here to help improve your mindset, regain masculinity and confidence.

4) Letters from a Stoic - Hands down, some of the best life advice I’ve ever received. His letters speak to deep truths about how we can become our highest selves - at least for me they do. I purchased this book on Amazon, but it seems the first link I posted has it for free

Next on my list are The Rational Male and The Married Man Sex Life Primer. I’m not trying to conquer the entire female species, but instead of gain confidence, adopt an alpha-persona, and learn to lead in and outside of my home. I feel that PMO has emasculated me in some strange way, and I’m seeking my machismo.

I can’t believe how much has changed in just 45 days, and I can’t wait to see where I am 90 days from now. While my goal is 90 days, I’m in this for a lifetime. I can’t imagine going back to my previous life of secrecy, shame and weakness. Right now I’m just focused on today. I still have urges, and while things have gotten earlier, every moment is a struggle - but for now, I am strong.

Fortunately I found NoFap. I am a man reborn, and I have you and this community to thank for it.
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Great work man! This is extremely helpful.

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Wimp to Pimp in 45 Days

KingGray Fapstronaut

DoGoodStayClean Fapstronaut

Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

Deleted Account Guest

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