Wishing a woman would tell me to stop masturbating

stopppppp.

; ) lol

 

You're just wrong. Why would you need someone to tell you what to do. I would argue that your mentality is the reason you fail. It's almost as if you want people (women for some reason) to feel bad about you, then you feel bad for making them feel bad and [then] you try to improve. Cut that BS, you know it's wrong, so be a man and fight the monster that keeps you enslaved, do not doubt it for a second.

 

It might be problematic if you're feeling a need for any women to encourage you not to masturbate. However, having a SO, friend of any gender, or maybe even your mom tell encourage you to reach your goals is very normal if you're comfortable with it.

Externalizing my issues really helped me get through my first reboot. I would always think things like "I'm doing this so I can have dope sex with my girlfriend, so don't screw it up" or "I'm doing this so I can focus on school and my career, so don't give up now". These are healthy things to think, and are what NoFap and YBOP encourage!

However, getting some type of rush or high from the feeling of any woman in general encouraging you not to masturbate is definitely harming your reboot, and should not be pursued or fantasized.

 

What those streaks look like? I've never been that far, however I find it interesting that even though my streaks are short, I've found them to be high quality. The reason? I stopped caring. I stopped counting the days, and instead of focusing on trying so hard not-to-fap, I focus on doing other things. Does this mean I gave up? Absolutely not, I'm well aware of my addiction, a disgusting one, and I know I have to overcome this. But over time, I came to the conclusion that the more you care about something, the more powerless you are. People get upset when things don't go according to the plan, their expectations were not fulfilled. But when you stop caring so much, nothing can't let you down; not caring is power. Sure I feel like trash when I watch P, but what am I gonna do? Being upset all day? I used to, but it doesn't lead anywhere. The right thing to do is move on with your life, and try to learn from your mistakes. But if you make such a great promise to yourself, that you will never, ever again PMO, you're going nowhere. Who knows, maybe some people can do that, but I would not recommend making promises you can't keep, you're gonna get upset and it's going to kick you down the rabbit hole again.

How you spend your time matters, choosing what is worth your time is important. Over the last months I've been deleting my accounts everywhere I can (JustDeleteMe if you're interested), and it has really helped me. You'll find that if you choose what your time is worth spending, you'll be less likely to find attractive the idea of PMO.

Cheers man, I know you can do this. And remember, not caring is power. Care enough to put your effort into this, into becoming a better person, but not enough to be upset.

 

Lol. I like that.

 

I currently have a female accountability partner I use for non-sexual problems (diet and early rising), with a great deal of success. I feel, like you, that she would be able to help me more with the masturbatory side of things than a male, but it's so much harder to reach out. She knows that masturbation causes me anxiety, but I feel that if I asked for her help, it would poison the other arrangements we have, regardless of whether the answer was yes or no.

Maybe it's a motherly thing, although she's no older than I am...

 

Why do you need a woman to tell you that?

Maybe tell your mother, she will probably tell you to stop.

 

What's wrong with telling your parents about your problems? The effectiveness of it depends on what kind of people they are (my mother for example isn't very good at understanding psychological problems, she just can't relate) but they are the closest male and female role models we have and they don't ghost us like randos on the internet.

What you said about men telling to "be a man" is very common complain about women. You had different personal experience, but women can react like that and it might be a source of disappointment if you put too much trust in women (in general, not specific people that you know are trustworthy). And you seem to at least holding men more accountable for actions that you dislike, while giving a pass to women. This attitude may just bite you in the future. People might be trustworthy or not regardless of their gender and putting to much focus on it might create a false sense of safety or animosity.

I asked because I found this peculiar and you yourself said it might have some connection to your fetishes. And reconnecting to your mother was already mentioned. If you are looking for a female role model it might be best place to start.

 

Stop putting women on a pedestal.

 

Mindfulness helps a lot. Another thing that will help is not to be isolated. Whenever the desire to masturbate comes, leave the room and try to participate in some conversation, interact with other people. If you live alone, when the urge arises, take a short walk outdoors. Always keep an outfit ready to go out, as this will prevent your brain from falling into the temptation to find an excuse not to go out because you don’t have an outfit ready for it.
My English is not good, I apologize for the possible mistakes.

 

A few years ago I got to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about a certain actress. whenever I got home, I went to my room, I looked for videos of her and it drained my energy. I'm in the fight, just like everyone else here. When I feel like it, I open the Python compiler and try to program something, study something. When that doesn't work, I leave the room and interact with other members of my family. I always keep my bedroom door open!