Woke up depressed

I've learned that despair is our greatest enemy.

When we allow ourselves to remain depressed and feel hopeless, we quit trying.

That is a sure program of defeat.


Your problem now is that you are still in PMO.

You are in it, and you see that you are in the wrong place.

That contradiction in your life is causing you to despair.

Now, you are looking for a way out, and it looks like you are finding it.

Once you've gotten farther into your recovery, you will be more hopeful.

No longer will you feel hopelessly stuck in this bad place.

Then, in time, you will be farther away from PMO, and it, along with all the bad feelings it causes you, will fade.


Already, I see much hope in what you wrote.

Mixed in with your despair is a recognition of how your wife has not given up on you.

Your marriage gives you the greatest incentive.

The dream you had about a date with your wife is not a regret for what has been lost.

Take it as an image of what remains possible once you break free.


Damage may have been done, but it can still be repaired.

You are saying so much yourself.

There are some positive glimmers in your post, and those must be your focus.

 

life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them. the hard part of change yourself is to accept who you are and what you've done in the past, move on to be a better on, whatever you did in the past, you can't change, BUT what you can change, is your future, don't know if you've watched movie called Mr & Mrs smith, Mr smith's friend told him, its just like a book, a book of you, maybe first half of the book, you are playing clown, But you can change and second half, and the ending. it is not over till you give up, trust me, the life and "superpower" i have right now, is not that i know for the fact that my life will get better or something like that, But it is more fun, more colourful for me, because, i accomplished the challenge that I've never thought its possible, i don't know what else i can accomplish, every next second, next day, next week is exciting to me, because i know i can do what i want to do. when i was PMOing the biggest problem for me is i know i will fuck up everything i do, and whatever I'm about to start doing, i know i will fucked up. depression is normal, not only for PMOers, for everyone, people have ups and downs, shake them off, be you, give yourself a chance to show yourself how awesome you are, the things that supports one to live through each day, are not what you can't do, is what you good at, and what you love. you know you can do it, you don't even have to believe you can do it, just do it...