Woman confidence..Improvement?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by TrueSaiyan, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. TrueSaiyan

    TrueSaiyan Fapstronaut

    Hey everyone! I am making this thread because I am currently struggling with Woman confidence and relationship building at this point in time. I feel like I have been living under a rug for some time never really gaining any success. All my friends and family have relationships and honestly I feel like a low life right now. I feel as if some people have it easy, but I clearly don't.
    I recently got a co workers facebook witch I think shes attracted to me. But my confidence was pretty low to ask for hers and she kind of took my phone and added her self. I also find it hard to talk to first shift woman that are pretty attractive at my job ( I work third).. I am finding it difficult to start small talk or even good morning. I was actually thinking of finding coaching online some where that I could improve, but I think coaching only goes so far.

    I am wondering if anybody has any improvement tips or some things I can do to talk to woman more. I feel like I am just trying to break free of this shell right now. I do feel like my masturbating and porn has caused some effect to this. But I am still meeting some girls from time to time.
  2. Karimtolstoi

    Karimtolstoi Fapstronaut

    All the tips you can find in Nofap or everywhere else are useless untill you begin practise.
    You probably fear of standing like a fool befire the woman not knowing what to say. Tell yourself that's not a problem, everyone understands that it seems difficult the first time. I say just push yourself and don't think too much.
  3. correct

    SCANBE Fapstronaut

    Even if they say no, they will still appreciate the gesture and have some respect for you for doing that. After all in 2018 it seems like it's a dying trend.

    Another thought....even if she says no today doesn't mean she'll say no tomorrow. I'm not implying you should hound her. What I'm saying is, maybe she'll say no because she was caught off guard or didn't know how to react, or maybe even more nervous than yourself. Your offer will be remembered and maybe you could be the one approached next. Or she will share this information with her friends who may become envious which puts you in an awesome position!

    If she added you on FB that's cool. A good conversation starter for something going forward. But just don't bring up a play by play of her activities -- might seem kinda stalker like.

    Best of luck!
  5. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Do what I have not been able to do and straight up ask her out for coffee. If she says yes, great. If no, at least you got experience to help ask out the next woman.
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    You're doubting yourself, fearing the outcome, and feeling guilty about your desires.

    You don't feel like you're good enough and you believe that you can't handle whatever happens (success or failure).

    Your mind is trying to gather information (research / observations / assumptions) in order to make sense out of an uncertain, difficult, and scary reality. Which is causing your paralysis, procrastination, perfectionism, doubt, and fear. You don't know if they will be interested in you or not, you don't know how they'll react towards you, and you don't know if you'll be able to handle any negative experiences.

    Reality will always have the potential for pain, problems, and negative experiences. You will always face uncertain, scary, and difficult situations.

    You can either take action, learn from experience, and condition yourself to be a person that faces adversity... or you can continue to think your way into procrastination, escape reality, and condition yourself to be someone that avoids facing adversity.

    There are no guarantees in life. You can either avoid take chances or take more chances. The more risks you take, the more you'll fail, but also the more you'll succeed. The less risks you take, the less you'll fail, but also the less you'll succeed.

    You have something to say. You know what to do. You just don't want to because it's scary. You block out your natural instincts and usual behavior that you have towards family / friends because you don't think that's good enough for the people you're interested in. You believe that you need some sort of special technique or to become a perfect version of yourself in order to be with someone you're interested in. You place them above you, you place yourself below them, and you want a special method other than your honest self expression to close that gap.

    The best thing you can do is do what you want. Accept that not everything works out in life, not everyone will be interested in you, and it's important to still take the risk. Because what's the alternative? To escape reality? To avoid potential failure and thus avoid potential success? To live a pain and problem free life and thus never growing as a person?

    It's your choice whether or not you want to continue sheltering yourself from reality.
    koolpal likes this.

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