Women’s appearance

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by F328, May 30, 2019.

  1. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    so one of the issues I think porn has messed me up in is how much I care about what your normal girl looks like vs porno actors , I notice in the webcams I’m hooked on big T**s or large a** and so when I’m out looking for a date I’m looking for big T**s ladies this decrease my chances , also I’m looking for the slutty female and many good girls ate not so again I decrease my chances with finding myself a girl and that’s just one way my brain thinks due to easy access to webcams even if I did want a very attractive women that means being a very attractive man therefore that requires work and viewing porn addictively has been related to loss of drive ,any thoughts ?
     
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  2. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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  3. UNSATISFIED

    UNSATISFIED Fapstronaut

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    There are a lot of slutty girls actually
     
  4. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah not the first time I heard that but just curiouse if I lower my standards and date someone I don’t think is that hot what do I do when I see the hot girl ? Isn’t that settling ?
     
  5. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I think that many people date below their ideal desired looks and they are doing well. I think you should first wait for effects of porn to weaken.
     
    F328 likes this.
  6. WalkingForward

    WalkingForward Fapstronaut

    Stop watching porn, stop masturbating, cancel netflix, get rid of your tv, don't watch youtube, watch fewer movies. Limit your exposure to hot women as much as possible, especially the ones on a screen.

    After a while of that, can take many months, you will naturally become less obsessed about looks.
     
  7. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I guess I’m if the opposite opinion. Unfortunately depending where you live and where you look—- what you are looking for might be quite common. It might be the scope you have on your tinder filter. You may need to just expand the age range.

    I hate to disagree with @Freedom bc we agree many other places , but I’m not lowering my standards just to get a date. That’s a great way to get an “average” date, and be “content”. All you did was sacrifice your standards to not be alone.

    But you what happens when you accept a 5 when your heart wants a 9 ?

    Here’s the scenario: you are out having dinner or at the club with the “ok” #5 chick and what happens inevitably?

    Then A #9 walks by.

    You are like ... “hot damn it !” And you watch your lowered standards kick you in the ass.

    You might even like the #5 a lot, but your head is fighting against you the whole night.

    Have I done it? Yes. Hell yes. And I get to the mall, the store, the beach (shitttttt) and I am just miserable. My date is not enjoying and neither am I. I would be better off by myself.

    Lol. Of course I did that when I was doing pmo too—- maybe I’m all changed.

    But I think time is too valuable to get bogged down in mediocrity. Yours is too. Accept you will be alone more often but pursue all the other basic stuff with rebooting from pmo, and stay away from over stimulations, keep your standards.

    You would not believe how hot women need love too. And many times they get skipped because guys are too intimidated.

    Unless you are 79 years old you have time.

    And I am assuming you aren’t superficial. You are just picky. Own it! Embrace it!
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2019
    koolpal and F328 like this.
  8. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Maybe you shouldn't be dating right now. I've heard it said you should only date once you've made it last 6 months clean.
     
  9. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Lots of 4s, 5s and 6s are very cute and good hearted. When you aim high you are limited to what is available. What if the only 9 you can get isn't the best person? I have some things connected to looks that are dealbreakers for me but I try to be flexible because I don't want to miss good people and I don't want to make dating unnecessary hard. I guess this is easier for me because I care a lot about personality and style so I am willing to make compromises. OP should probably give himself a break now. If you really care about looks therd is a chance that you will luck out, but this chance is pretty low, so it might be better to aim for 7 instead of 9. Also looks matter, it is very unlikely that a man will succesfully date a women that is couple of points above him.
     
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  10. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like cope to me. Hot women are getting unbelievable amounts of attention, they just have to go on Tinder or other dating app to find good looking guys but lots of attention comes from beta orbiters and white knights so if you are below them, they might ignore you as another such case. If you are attractive, within one point range, you may try and in that case probably some guys lost because they even don't try. But if you are 7 or 6 or below trying to go for a 9 chances of success are minimal.
     
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  11. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    correct I feel like that once porn weakenss I can value people way more .. with that said guys and ladies im done with porn I hate it ! I just got paid tonight and blew 270$ on online webcams I could not get out !but now that I look back I hate that , almost 300$ can go to something great for my future im sick of this stuff , I do it because I feel alone bitching about not having the girl when porn has my mind jacked up on womens looks , I now know how to change this ground zero is I feel pathetic I walk around all day feeling pathetic , I think life is too hard and people don't give a crap about me ! ppl I recommend gary bishops book titled stop doing that shit its helping so far and im at the edge of me quitting porn completely I feel like im so close to overcoming this idk if ill do it again I didn't fap I egde and just watched , its almost 2 am ppl its gonna happen this is war ! and its playing with my money ! im pissed.
     
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  12. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    correct I feel like that once porn weakenss I can value people way more .. with that said guys and ladies im done with porn I hate it ! I just got paid tonight and blew 270$ on online webcams I could not get out !but now that I look back I hate that , almost 300$ can go to something great for my future im sick of this stuff , I do it because I feel alone bitching about not having the girl when porn has my mind jacked up on womens looks , I now know how to change this ground zero is I feel pathetic I walk around all day feeling pathetic , I think life is too hard and people don't give a crap about me ! ppl I recommend gary bishops book titled stop doing that shit its helping so far and im at the edge of me quitting porn completely I feel like im so close to overcoming this idk if ill do it again I didn't fap I egde and just watched , its almost 2 am ppl its gonna happen this is war ! and its playing with my money ! im pissed.
     
  13. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    correct I feel like that once porn weakenss I can value people way more .. with that said guys and ladies im done with porn I hate it ! I just got paid tonight and blew 270$ on online webcams I could not get out !but now that I look back I hate that , almost 300$ can go to something great for my future im sick of this stuff , I do it because I feel alone bitching about not having the girl when porn has my mind jacked up on womens looks , I now know how to change this ground zero is I feel pathetic I walk around all day feeling pathetic , I think life is too hard and people don't give a crap about me ! ppl I recommend gary bishops book titled stop doing that shit its helping so far and im at the edge of me quitting porn completely I feel like im so close to overcoming this idk if ill do it again I didn't fap I egde and just watched , its almost 2 am ppl its gonna happen this is war ! and its playing with my money ! im pissed.
     
  14. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    What's with all the numbers? There are women that a person finds attractive and women that a person doesn't find attractive. We're not in the Olympics so there's no need for numbers.
     
  15. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Nahh, I’m Not hung up on numbers or grading chicks per se, the point is lowering your standards just to avoid being alone—— means you will get someone while telling yourself you want better.

    I’m advocating celibacy and being comfortable with it until you find what you are looking for.

    In the end you live with your worst enemy. (You).
     
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  16. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    I’m not superficial I have issues around women and the hotter she is the more I feel complete I know that’s my issue I just need to be happy with myself love myself and when I feel like I winner I will be able to pick out a winner women lol if that’s even a good way to put it
     
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  17. I don't skip them. And from experience I can tell you: They are just as human with quirks and flaws as all the others. Just more rare and therefore less to choose from.
     
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  18. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Absolutely agree. Leaving porn helps us become patient as we look.

    Lol. Let me say this as if we are all on Sesame Street:

    “ if you have high self love, high standards; low self- love, low standards.”

    —Kermit the cocky frog
     
    F328 likes this.
  19. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    As a girl I just will say: I'm not fond of using numbers to categorise people but: if you really want a 9 girl, please, please, PLEASE don't date the 5 one. It hurts, it really hurts to be in a date with a boy looking at other girl's ass. Set the 5 girl free so she can find another person for who she is a 10.
     
  20. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    It’s validation to get an attractive women it’s like saying look at me but once I get that I’ll seek the next thing it’s not until I wrestl with my demons the ones that tell me I suck every morning and the same ones that tell me to quit because I’m a loser any way why try ! That’s why I say until I feel like a winner my view of a love life and sex can change if I feel like a loser I can attract a hot girl but she can have issues too but overall
    Your right 30-90 days sounds about right but I’m fighting to make it past 2 weeks it’s starts with feeling unloved recently read hey bishops lastest book that uncovered this statement Iam not loved when I feel like or I start to feel like I cruel or ppl don’t give a crap about me I go for the porn
     

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