Women’s appearance

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by F328, May 30, 2019.

  1. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

    118
    56
    28
    This is what I’m talking about I been in 3 relationships because I couldn’t be alone anymore I was just tired so I jumped in with women that let me in after the first month it’s exciting then 2-3 months I’m looking for the nearest exit , my point is the hardest part is living wit yourself for 30-90 days of this is fuxking hard so
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yep. It’s why I think lowering your standards is not helping. It’s just proving you are codependent to a certain degree. Like @Eleanor said it’s better for the girl if you stay back anyways. Sometimes i have honestly found girls are way more attracted when you say no than when you say yes. It’s about being honest , not worried about your inadequacy so much. Try it.
     
    F328 likes this.
  3. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    You can't lower your standards beyond certain point or against yourself, I agree about that. I was projecting my insecurities about my looks on a future partner, so my standards were inflated, now I feel better about myself, so I care less about looks. However I care very much about personality and attitudes.
     
    Eleanor likes this.
  4. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    I disagree that people fall into two categories - attractive and non attractive, we are attracred to people on different levels. We can use numbers, we can use descriptives (very attractive, above average, average, below average, non attractive). It is also useful to know our looks and be realistic about it. I would say I am falling into below everage category, maybe I will be average when I will fix my problems. This is one of the reasons I don't have too big expectations when it comes too looks. I am ok with not best looking girls, especially if they care about themselves, you don't have to be 10/10 to create good "aura" around you.
     
    Eleanor, F328 and need4realchg like this.
  5. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    So if someone isn't attractive or not attractive what are they?
     
  6. This is perfect. You can play the numbers game then (rinse and repeat until you hit gold).
     
  7. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    Well, I am below average mostly because I am overweight. But I am confident that I will lose weight in 1, max two years period. Then I will come back to dating. In the meantime I will finish my studies and get a full time job. Stable income and better looks are benefits by its own merits but also confidence boosters.
     
  8. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    Average?
     
  9. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

    65
    69
    18
    Just know that all nines are actually fives with makeup!
     
  10. My reality check

    My reality check Fapstronaut

    I had a friend that thought like this, here's the story I told him...a 9 is a Ferrari, or a Porsche, the problem is it's parked in the middle of Detroit(I grew up a mile from Detroit, which is why I use this analogy, Detroit is safer than the cities reputation indicates), but in any case, everybody that sees the car wants to steal it from you, so you need to be able to drive that car to a better neighborhood.But unfortunately, you don't know how to drive a Ferrari, so go lease a Chevy Cruze, it's cheaper to maintain, and if you wreck it,yes it will still hurt, but at least when you get your Ferrari, you'll be able to drive the car, and who knows maybe a Chevy Cruze will end up being a 9 for you. you won't know til you start driving.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  11. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

    118
    56
    28
    I think this thread went off away from the truth which is 1.can we have self control this addictive habit bad habit ? 2.And we shouldn’t care to discuss looks every person has a view of what is beautiful or not and it’s not always looks . So we can cut that shit 3.Do you love yourself ?4.
    you sry dating u til you find someone ideal ?
     
  12. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

    118
    56
    28
    I meant what your saying is date u til you find someone ideal ?
     
  13. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Thanks for saying that. I wasn’t trying to talk about the “ numbers system either. “

    To be clear, every person is unique and on that basis incomparable.

    If we fail to deal with our issues we hold ourselves back from our goals. My encouragement is more about self actualization; ie achieving your “best self” and not giving up on whatever that dream or principal in general—-especially in finding a date.
     
    My reality check and F328 like this.
  14. My reality check

    My reality check Fapstronaut

    Basically what I'm saying is the right woman is the lady that you can reliably keep happy, and love. And dating anyone is expensive, but more attractive women do expect more, plus there is real pressure to perform well in the bedroom. Sometimes dating a girl you find less attractive winds up being the ideal. And just to make sure we're all on the same page,of course leading a girl on is wrong,but it's also unlikely you'll marry the first person you date.
     
    koolpal and F328 like this.
  15. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I'll add that I think you need a time away from P to order your priorities and to get to meet girls in a friend basis, so you can appreciate someone's personality, intelligence and charm beyond the physical looks. After that you might be able to choose better. And anyway, don't date a girl you don't like. I was a 3 for one boy I liked and all my family would like, so that hurt. I always suspected he was into porn, he liked super curvy girls that didn't care about him because he was overweighted (so there's the other point: look yourself in the mirror to see if you are enough for a 9 girl). But I'm a 10 for another one, a far more mature guy. I'm still dating, I'm not saying he's the one, but with him I learnt that sometimes someone might not be perfect, but you want to be with them anyway. He doesn't fit perfectly in my man ideal, but I want to try and see.
     
  16. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    I don't really think it is possible to find personal ideal. It is mature decision to try.
     
    My reality check and Eleanor like this.
  17. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    1,105
    5,384
    143
    Physical attributes are a small and superficial part of what makes up an individual.

    Want to know how to stop placing so much importance on looks?

    Get to know them.
     
    Eleanor, koolpal and F328 like this.
  18. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

    363
    416
    63
    Yep, knowing someone makes looks less important, sometimes a lot less important, but they still have some role in "chemistry" and they may be a dealbreaker.
     
    F328 likes this.
  19. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

     
  20. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Exactly. And even if you find it, you have to see if she/he likes you, if you're corresponded. Sometimes that's more important and I understand it till now, that an imperfect human being treats me as a queen.
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.

Share This Page