Women’s appearance

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by F328, May 30, 2019.

  1. My reality check

    My reality check Fapstronaut

    Well, here's a little test I used to get past my shallowness, think about this question objectively, your initial reaction is going to Ewww!NO! but there's years of genetics involved, Find your parents picture as close in age as you are now, and ask if at the age you currently are would you have found your mother attractive try to remove personality from the equation, just straight up, was Mom cute?Why or Why not?Your dad liked her, can you understand why, and going back generations on your Mom's side, men in your family were attracted to a woman like that, so perhaps look for a woman that is similar if Mom was very attractive go ask your dad what gives? If you come out the other side of this exercise, you might even flip your line of thought from going in, like I did, my Dad passed when I was 12, and I'd always wondered why did he marry my mother, after objectively approaching this question, I thought why did my mother agree to my Dad's proposal, she was way out of his league. Turns out he looked like Johnny Cash, who knew?
     
  2. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Didn’t get that at all ? Sorry maybe I’m not paying attention but the way I get clear on this is how good do you feel about your self if it’s 100% topped off I feel great then go up to whatever girl you think is attractive if she’s a 10 or smoking 11 whatever and start a convo if she is interested there you go if she is not then you can remember there’s billions of people on earth try someone else
     
  3. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    So to do NoFap I see now requires laser like focus , at one point I had so many goals or to do list that the pressure was way too much, I had a lot of things going on but was never getting anything real done so I felt crap . I was told I need to treat this like if I was training to get fit since exercise is my passion or my thing . Its kind of true I can get better once I show up to gym everyday first off all , then what put my game on another level was to journal my progress and use that progress to out do myself . Until I reached my ideal weight and performance . Then rinse and repeat . Its about tweaking our way to an ideal place , tracking the whole way . I LOVE TRAINING so I spent years in the gym , so I know this works , for pmo and NoFap I think the goal would be quit porn , I put quit porn for 1 year as a goal starting with 90 days of NoFap no pmo , I have my calendar and journal , I will use exercise , breathing exercises , morning and evening rituals early wake ups etc. ..I feel like im ready for a transformation this will not be easy I do not expect it to be perfect but Iam relentless I will dedicate a year of my life on good habbits not to just quit porn but to make the good habbits the new normal away from anything that will bring me down food , people , thought , myself, alcohol , tv , comfort etc
     
  4. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    watch this its my approach to fapping and pmo : my habit I will use is exercise I will commit to rebuilding my life around exercise in order to eliminate all junk including webcam porn
     
  5. My reality check

    My reality check Fapstronaut

    Well, what do your goals look like, there's a difference between goals, and aspirations, what I mean by that is, we all want to quit our PMO habit, that's an aspiration, a goal on the other hand is specific, measurable, attainable, and has a specific time frame for you to accomplish it within, so a goal should look more like let's use your exercise as an example, a well written goal, might read, "By September 1st , I will have gained 5 pounds of muscle mass"So time frame is there also language is helpful here notice I used the phrase "I will", be firm with yourself this isn't something you just want, it will happen. Now aspirations are still important that gives you your motivation, and motivation is energy, that you put into your goals, to accomplish them and get what you want out of life.
     
    F328 likes this.
  6. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

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    Go full hard mode for the rest of your life. After a while, you'll lower your standards so much you'd even hump a cactus to get your rocks off.
     
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  7. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Kind of funny and kinda true
     
  8. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Seriously I think your saying hard mode will make me desire women so hard that I’ll stop overthinking every little fucking detail about women and stop be shallow and just be happy with who’s in my life
     
  9. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

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    Yeah homie I'm about 50 some plus days in and I find myself less in my head about women and quite honestly, just more turned on.

    And like you, I have some pretty high standards.

    Give it a shot man!

    Good luck!
     
    F328 likes this.
  10. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Day 4 of NoFap that’s cool but find myself questioning myself asking why I wasted so much time and how I feel like I’m so behind need to change the mindset look at shot differently
     
  11. Lakeside

    Lakeside Fapstronaut

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    Just a thought here, but why not try dating women based on character rather than looks? I'm not saying it's bad for looks to play a part (of course it isn't), but if you're just going after women who perfectly match what you consider to be "hot", then you'll be missing out on a lot of very lovely women who could make you a much happier guy than a lot of the hot women you are restricting yourself to. Relationships are built on character, not on looks; love is built on the choices to put the other first, not on how much they turn you on.
    And also, for a real life example, my girlfriend doesn't meet what I'd think of as technically the most beautiful/attractive, but that doesn't stop her being more beautiful to me than anyone else in the world. Don't underestimate the beauty someone can posses when you actually love them.

    Of course, all of that only applies if you are looking for an actual relationship; if you're looking for someone to have sex with my best advise is to just stop and focus your life on other things.
     
    F328 likes this.
  12. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Fall in love. Yes, I know it sounds corny but it works. When you are love, those trivialities don't really matter.
     
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  13. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    All very true I have a belief about myself that I’m broken so I don’t even start to date and deal with what goes with that I’m gonna start to dig into it in order to not just date but to be more loving to my self and others
     
  14. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    Yea but to fall in love in need to love myself and currently working on that I’m on day 6 of NoFap no pmo feeling awesome because I don’t have a hang over from viewing the stuff I have more time to work on other area stuff of my life and doing it I feel more relaxed at peace and confident
     
  15. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Good, keep doing it.
     
  16. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

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    What ate your thoughts on dating or dating apps during a re boot ? I wanna hit 100 days
     
  17. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    Chemistry matters. In the end a relationship is about biological compatibility. Everything else either falls in line automatically or has to be worked on.
     
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  18. Lakeside

    Lakeside Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure what you're saying.
    My point was that if he's after a relationship, he's better off with a woman who will genuinely care for and love him, rather than woman who turns him on more easily. Contrary to the popular view, an intimate relationship is not built on sex; sex is merely something that most people choose to include as part of their intimate relationship. The things that will make your relationship last are love (genuinely caring about them), understanding, and willingness to put the other person first. Sex and physical attraction are not how you keep relationships going; if they were we wouldn't have half as many failed relationships in this world.
     
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  19. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    @Lakeside That's what chemistry is about. It has nothing to do with lusting of the flesh.
     
  20. Lakeside

    Lakeside Fapstronaut

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    Yes chemistry is an important part of a romantic relationship, but you also have to make the conscious decision to love that person, and you have to keep on making that decision.
    Chemistry is often what starts a relationship, but chemistry isn't a constant; it waxes and it wanes, sometimes you have strong feelings of love for them and sometimes you don't; that's why it has to be a conscious choice as well, to love them even when you don't feel it.

    For the record, I'm not sure I'm disagreeing with you exactly, I'm just adding my own thoughts to what you've said.
     

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