Women tempting intentionally

eh they might, just means we have to take even more control over our minds

 

Sodom and Gomorrha

"Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man"

 

Some people think that sex is less costly than It actually is. I'm tired of screwing myself because of sex. I'm sure that almost everybody here is acquainted with the term supernormal stimuli. We are being bombarded with eroticism every day and I don't think that it is good. Clothing does matter.

 

I'm so confused by this post. Are you saying that women are actually not aware of men looking at them as an object of sexual desire at first impression because their own brain is naturally not wired to look at men as an object of sexual desire at first impression and they project their own way of thinking on the opposite gender?

I don't think anyone ever said all women dress with the intention of getting male attention. The simplest way to determine a woman's intention with her clothing is to look at the type of clothing she is wearing. A woman in a pair of jeans, sneakers and a loose shirt is most likely dressing with the intention of feeling comfortable (which is not to say that it can't make her look sexy). A woman wearing highheeled shoes, a lowcut shirt and a short skirt or shorts with half her tits and ass hanging out is 100% aware of the effect it will have on men and intending to achieve that effect. Maybe with a few exceptions such as leggings, clothes that show off a woman's body are not meant to be comfortable. And even if they are, any female past a certain age is completely aware of and responsible for the effect that is caused by her choice of clothing. Of course, it is any woman's legitimate right to want to achieve that effect. But I personally can't see anything positive about having a man's attention by being undressed and banged in his mind and treated like a piece of meat. Making myself into an object to be used for sex by looking like a prostitute has nothing to do with "owning my sexuality" and a feeling of "enjoyment and empowerment", I think it's just a very twisted way to boost one's self-esteem.

 

It was a sober look on the issue. No doubt our mind is messed up, but It is hard not to think that porn can be playing a major role in the female behavior as an amplifier of some inclinations.

 

I never meant to judge the way the male mind works, at least not in this context, when it comes to women who objectify themselves. A woman dressed in a certain way is self-consciously sending a very specific signal to a man's instinctive behavior. Of course, any man can choose not to act on that natural instinct by averting his attention, visually and mentally, but that doesn't change the fact that women who are dressed in that way are provoking and actually asking for a man to act on that instinct (at the minimum by looking/staring) since it will give them the attention they want.

I was just legitimately wondering if said post was serious since I find it very hard to believe that there is someone who actually believes women who wear leggings and other revealing clothes are that naive and oblivious of the effect it has on men, whether they actively act on their instinct or not.

 

Certainly not all of them, but honestly, a lot of them are. I had absolutely no idea yoga pants were such a turn on for guys until I came here. It was a huge wake up call. I always just thought they were comfy pants, like equivalent to wearing sweats. I never realized they were that enticing. And I've mentioned that particular thing to a few female friends as well and they were just as surprised as I was to learn that yoga pants are driving men crazy.

So... you may find it hard to believe, but that doesnt make it not true. There are definitely plenty of women who dont realize what they're wearing is as enticing as it is.

People also just get used to dressing a certain way, or maybe their body type effects things too. For a long time I had a pretty small chest, and then all of a sudden I was pretty stacked and didn't really realize that I can't wear the same things I used to anymore and still be considered modest.

Also, most people dont necessarily sexualize their own bodies. A lot of women and girls have poor self esteem, and wouldn't even think that anyone would find them attractive enough to lust after.

There are plenty of factors. I dont think its fair (not that this is what you are doing, Angel, but I'm just saying) to assume that every woman who is wearing something that's turning you on or that seems immodest to you is doing it to intentionally trap you into lust or something. In general, I dont think it's right to treat people that way. I think people should be given the benefit of the doubt, unless theres some solid reason why you believe that, like if they're being really flirty or have an attitude that also says that they know what they're doing. Plenty of people are just ignorant and dont realize the effect they have on others. Men included. A lot of women (not myself, but I've heard a lot of women say this) say that men going around shirtless is a huge struggle for them, and some guys have now chosen to wear swim shirts to help out the ladies in their life who are struggling with lust. But I'm not going to go around assuming every guy who has his shirt off is trying to tempt me. Maybe they're just hot, or it's more comfortable, or whatever other one of the million reasons that isn't so nefarious.

 

I agree and I feel that one thing has nothing to do with the other. In terms of women I think there's a huge difference between being comfortable with sexuality and sexuallizing themselves. I don't think flaunting sexuality as a means to get attention and boost self esteem as positive.

Alot of these guys are blaming women for their own perversion and warped pornified view of sexuality and not holding themselves accountable. That's stupid and unproductive in regards to recovery. If a man begins to take responsibillty, reboots properly and get on track spiritually, he will be unaffected or much less affected by triggers including sexually provacative women. If a woman is able to control or manipulate a guy by flashing some TNA, then that man is weak.

I agree with alot of the viewpoints about modern feminism being bad for society and family structure but no man here can blame feminism or women for their PMO problems. It's on us to own up to our mistakes and handle our business like adults.

 

I certainly don't want to deny your own experiences, if that's what happened to you, then that is obviously true, although I would call it an exception to the rule.

I would still think most people have an awareness of what they are wearing, and if one is aware that a leggings is a type of clothing that is like tights a skin tight piece of clothing, emphasizing certain body parts like a second skin, they should be aware of what effect it will have, at the latest when they look in the mirror. Just my opinion though.

I just wonder, who is really paying attention to the type of clothes you're wearing if not the people around you? Do you put on make up and nice clothes to quickly take out the trash or for yourself at home? If someone's goal by dressing in a sexual way is to boost their self esteem, fine, but that self esteem is built on the people around them, which if they happen to be men won't be judging you based on who you are as a person, but based on the fact that you would make a good sex partner, if that is what someone is looking for, to each their own. But I'd rather be judged by the person I am, not by how good of a fuck I am.

 

A lot of women sexualize themselves unintentionally. Just look at the shows on TV and social media; sexualization and pornification is celebrated on mass, and is the route to fame for a lot of women.

Other women see this and associate that image with success, likability and approval. Women generally dress provocatively because it is the current societal norm and most instinctively follow cultural trends on a quest for the acceptance and approval of the masses.

And why wouldn't they? It's a way to acquire acceptance and approval that requires no work or effort. Just present your physical assets and you win. You can't blame them for taking an easy option.

Maybe instead of expecting them to change, change your own thinking. Recognise that provocative dress is just a cop-out for those who rely on the physical for approval above achievements or virtue. It only bothers you because you highly value the physical. Learn to see deeper.

 

I'm unsure if this was a general response to the thread or a response to me. Either way, I don't think anyone, especially me, said anything about women having to change themselves and stop dressing provocatively, let alone being bothered by it. I think women should do whatever they want to do as I said in my initial post.

I should probably also clarify here that I am a straight woman who has never had any interest whatsoever in watching pornography (joined NoFap because of my porn addicted boyfriend). I am physically not able to find any attraction in the mere physical appearance of another man. I am always attracted to a person first, then their physical appearance. (apparently this is called demisexual, although I don't like to label myself) So I'm definitely not defending any kind of "us poor men are the victim if women dress like a sluts" point of view. I'm just stating my own opinion.

I have to respectfully disagree there. I think TV and social media portraying a sexualized women as powerful and successful and overall accepted does not equal a woman being unaware that men, by nature, are sexually attracted to a woman's physical appearance. That is something we learn from a relatively early age.

Like I said, it's in every man's own choice to give in to their initial instinct upon seeing a woman that is showing off her body. That still doesn't change the fact that a woman is making a conscious choice to search out specific clothing and put them on and go out on the street or the club with a specific purpose. That is all I'm saying.

 

I was replying to OP, probably should've quoted to make that more clear.

That's an interesting point of view.

I don't deny that women know what they're doing with regards to provoking men, but I think it has a broader social aim; they're keeping up appearances with all people rather than just potential romantic or sexual partners. You can tell from the way groups of girls will criticize and gossip about one another that there is a social standard of behaviour/dress-sense/fitness that their social circles expect the members to uphold.

This is the same with some men, although it seems less of a big deal.

 

I put on yoga pants because they are comfortable.

Agreed

 

I put on leggings because they are comfortable myself. I was just saying that I do that in the privacy of my own home. I don't go outside or to the gym with leggings because I am fully aware that I will have men checking out my ass and I personally see no reason to have such attention on me, single or not. "But to each their own." Personally I'd rather be noticed for a nice smile or a nice personality. Again, not to say that a woman can't be sexy if she is wearing modest clothing.

Then you seem to agree with my initial point. I also won't disagree with you that women might also base the decision of what clothes to wear on what is socially the norm to wear. But then again, the social norm is also affected by what is attracting male attention and the ability to attract sexual partners. I can only see through my own eyes, but I personally would never subject to the media/a potential employee/a friend/whoever telling me that if I dress like a prostitute I will be successful, rich, popular etc. I know who I am and I know that an opinion based on my sexual value has no meaning to me, despite the fame, (false) self esteem, approval, etc it gives me.

 

This is the attitude that I wish could be instilled into more modern, Western women. You have my respect!

 

Well that's nice for you that you're aware of how leggings effect men (which by the way, leggings are not yoga pants... I wouldn't go out just wearing leggings either), but my point is that not every woman who is out wearing yoga pants is doing that to entice men, or even realizes that its enticing. Just because you realize it is doesnt mean everybody does. That's the point I'm making here.

Me too, but that really doesnt have anything to do with anything I'm saying. Because I'm not talking about women who are seeking attention. I'm talking about women who are going about their merry way, feeling comfy and happy in their yoga pants, just to have men make statements like "well she HAS to know how much that entices me! If shes dressed like that, she MUST clearly want me to look at her butt and comment on how sexy she looks!" That then leads to "well it's not MY fault for listing after her or harassing her or worse! She should know how much those pants influence me to be a pervert!"

That's scummy and just simply not true most of the time.

 

No need to get confrontational, I didn't mean to antagonize you or anyone. I'm just arguing in favor of my own opinion. You don't have to agree with my opinion and can argue in favor of your own opinion. Forgive my ignorance, I had no idea that there was a difference between yoga pants and leggings and that I was using the wrong terminology here, although I don't think this hairsplitting makes any difference for the point I'm making. But yes, apparently there is a difference in the thickness of the fabric, making one more appropriate to be worn on its own than the other. That does not change anything about the fact that they are both skin tight type of clothing that have the effect of heavily accentuating the female form.

Don't worry, I totally understood your point earlier already (although I think you were arguing generally about women usually not intentionally dressing provocatively, not only women in yoga pants). And the point I was making earlier was that I believe people not noticing such a thing "is an exception to the rule". Most women will look at themselves in the mirror wearing leggings or yoga pants, and think to themselves "dat ass". Even if they are comfortable to wear, they will be aware of the fact that they accentuate their backside and that, by nature, men will give such a sight positive attention.

I'm sorry, I thought it did have something to with what you were saying. I thought you were saying that a lot of women don't dress sexually provocative with the intention to be sexually provocative, either because they are unaware of such effect (in your case when wearing yoga pants) or because of other reasons. My point was that - apart from few exceptions - women are always seeking attention if they make a conscious decision to wear clothes that are showing off their physical features. Consequently I said I myself would never seek attention in that way.

This all leads back to my question, who do you dress for if you go out in public? If you want to wear something comfortable for yourself, you could be wearing anything that is comfortable. What is the point of wearing something that makes your ass look nice? It's comfortable to wear, yes, I understand. But it also makes you look sexually appealing and you make the conscious decision to wear something sexually appealing (even if that might not be your first priority), so you will also expect to get attention based on that sexual appeal.

I think we can all agree on the fact that a woman dressing in a certain way is never ever an invitation or justification to be harassing her or worse.