Women's reaction to men with PMO addiction

Well the thing is guys don't have sex or masturbate to beer, although I guess some beetles have a thing for beer bottles.

 

My GF never got upset because she was also a PMO addict for a long time. "How can PMO be considered infidelity?" You're getting off to other people and fantasizing about other people which could lead you to worse things like sex addiction and being interested in other people. At the peak of my PMO addiction I told my GF I was starting to desire other people sexually(normal sex with my GF wasn't cutting it, I needed more sex). It's all tied together... Just because it's an addiction doesn't mean it's not infidelity. I am convinced most men that cheat start off watching heaps of porn behind their wives back and then they want to seek out more thrills IRL. "How can PMO make a woman jealous?" Well Imagine your GF/Wife getting addicted to getting off while looking at other men.

 

I don't know. If I was dating a chick that liked to masturbate to videos of other guys, I would certainly not be very comfortable with that at all.

But if she was struggling with it as an addiction, then I think I would be quite annoyed at first, but then I'd realize she's just an addict. And I'd try to help her overcome it.

I guess what I'm saying is I kinda see their point. But yours as well.

 

Imagine if you're girlfriend was constantly looking at other guys and thinking man he is hot. wouldn’t' that bother you?

 

I think one of the problems is the 'disovering' part, in that it's something that has often been kept secret and hidden so there is a sense of betrayal and a loss of trust. There are more emotions involved than just jealousy or anxiety. I think its normal for people to have things like celebrity crushes etc and that's something couples know about each other quite early on that they find so and so attractive but when it comes to porn and the partner finds out they have been obsessed with sexual depravity and also kept it secret there's this sense of the woman feeling as if they don't really know their partner anymore ie: 'i didn't think he was that kind of person'

 

Also addiction is not understood widely correctly. People still see addiction as lack of self control. And when a wife finds out about her husband PMO habit the first thing comes to her mind is: he doesn't like me. He us betraying me etc

 

Maybe what you're missing is the fidelity part. Maybe the problem isn't people's view of porn, but people's view of fidelity. How do you view marital fidelity? How does your significant other view it? That's where the disconnect is. If it wasn't a form of infidelity, no one would feel the need to hide if from their partners.

 

I agree but there are other reasons to hide too. We inherit a sense of shame and self-consciousness that goes right back to our youthful M experiments. I mean, who hasn't hidden their activity when parents knock on the bedroom door. Those habits die hard.

 

You should read some of the SO/Partners posts. And read up on betrayal trauma.