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Wondering why some people have such long streaks?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Awolnation28, Nov 14, 2016.

  1. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    Hey i was just wondering why some people have streaks of like 200-300 or more days...

    Some people have like 3 years as a streak!! basically it worries me when i see streaks this long because i desperately want to reboot in the shortest amount of time and get out there and find me a good quality woman. (wife hopefully)

    It boggles my mind that a reboot could take so long. Is it possible that some of these people are already healed from porn addiction but they want to continue having the super powers??

    I mean.... I get that 90 days is an arbitrary number and its different for everyone.

    But can a reboot really take 300 days??

    To me this whole thing of not having a woman in my life seems unnatural and THE SECOND im done my reboot i want to go out and find me a good woman.
     
    Champ39 likes this.
  2. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    In Your Brain On Porn Gary Wilson says "you stay consistent because it can take many months, or even a couple of years, for the 'I want to watch porn right now!' pathways to fire less frequently - and then die down."

    I suppose it depends on your goal. If someone doesn't really care that much about totally recovering from porn, and just want to have good erections and good sex then maybe they don't need to go as long. But this statement above is about rooting out the addiction from your brain, which isn't the same as the reboot I guess unless you think of the effect on your mind more than your body.
     
  3. Adria

    Adria Fapstronaut

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    Maybe I'm doing it wrong but I think you can have a woman in your life and still be rebooting at the same time. It's not exclusive.
     
  4. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    yea but no sex right?

    if i reaaaally like a girl. and she reaaaaally likes me... ummm

    Wouldnt it be foolish to keep the streak going? the girl would start thinking your not attracted or something and move onto another guy.
     
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

    It seems you want to keep asking this question (which has been answered) until someone tells you what you want to hear!
    Yes! That is only ten months and a reboot can take one to two years. Just put your sex life on hold for a few months. :rolleyes:
     
  6. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    i do want to recover fully from porn. but if takes over 6 months of not having a woman romantically involved in my life than i don't think it's worth it.

    that doesn't seem natural..
     
  7. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    your statement makes no sense.
    you say it is only ten months. and then you say put your sex life on hold for a few months.

    big difference between a few months and 10 months.

    and yea i don't think my question has been answered. it's called a discussion. i'm curious.
     
  8. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    How do you know you recovered? i thought good erections and good sex would be the whole symptom of you being healed? isn't that why we're here? to find ourselves meaningful relationship with a woman we love?
     
  9. Awolnation28

    Awolnation28 Fapstronaut

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    persoanlly i think you guys take this too far. i'm going to do this shit until i find love. then who cares i'm rebooted or not?

    for me the whole point is to find love. meaningful relationship.
    and to clean up my personal life too.
    once those things are done i'm done with nofap.
    and i'm only 50 days in and i think i'm getting close.
    won't take me 10 months! fuck that
     
  10. I didn;t read all the back and forth. Rebooting is different for everyone. Some guys do hard mode (no O from sex or M). Some do soft mode which means sex with their wives, but nothing else.

    The hard thing is that sex with a new woman has similar dopamine surges as porn. That newness. That rush. Oh my gosh, she is the hottest woman ever. Not that sex with wives isn't exciting, but its just a different mode.

    So your first goal should be to get some sobriety under your belt. Where you really have been without PMO, but more importantly, have done some work on whats driving your addiciton. Figure out what you were covering up. Feel those feelings. Deal with past crap. Get some reliable tools developed so you can be healthy for the long haul.

    The danger with dating is that what happens when you two have a fight. Or you start getting hot and heavy, but she doesn't want sex. Will you be able to be ok with that? no retreating to PMO.
     
    oversexedsami and mcrcvrng like this.
  11. Adria

    Adria Fapstronaut

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    I don't consider sex a relapse. As long as you stay away from porn it's fine in my opinion.
     
    Maddey, douggie1962 and nomo like this.
  12. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    Well again it does depend on your goal and situation. If you get into a relationship sure, it may make sense just to do PM in your reboot but have the O with your partner.

    In another thread we talked about how there may be other addictions and issues, so that's one reason why it may take longer. If someone drinks, or has a psychological issue to work on, I would think it'd take longer not because of the physical reboot but because there's a risk that you turn to PMO to deal with the other stuff when you shouldn't. Like you said it's about healthy relationships and cleaning up your personal life.

    And it may very well not take that long for you, especially for your goals. Maybe it's cause I'm reading this book and working on willpower in general but I kind of get a high out of that idea. If I was dating, I might set a standard like I'm not going to have sex until I really get a sense that I know this person and they are not going to screw me over and make me feel depressed, even if they do it unintentionally because they have their own issues. That's just an example, I don't expect people to get that detailed if they meet someone they really like. But just for me, my thinking is like how do I really know I like them anyway? Is it just because they arouse me, because that's not the whole story to a healthy relationship. You ever notice some people don't even look that hot but it's like they have extra hormones? It's like the chemistry is always on or something. Other people who look better don't have that.

    I suppose one bottom line for me is if you are totally powerless over something in your life, in this case sex or maybe a relationship with a specific person, then that's serious shit to look at. Sure when you're IN the relationship it may be all good, but if when you're out you're all fucked up then that's serious. Especially if it's with a specific person, it isn't even like you can just go out and meet someone else. Healthy relationship has to involve having yourself together, not depending on someone else for you to feel okay. Yeah it's better to be in a fulfilling relationship but if it's always negative when your'e not then I don't think that's healthy, I think it should be at least like neutral when you're single and just positive when you're in a good relationship, instead of totally negative when not and totally positive when in.
     
  13. @Awolnation28 You certainly don't need to go that long without sex to reboot. All tho it most likely will make you reboot faster and easier cos often sex can lead to relapse. If your goal is to just find relationship then cool man. But for many people there it's more than that, some people have all their life ruined cos of this addiction. So for them getting in relationship or having sex is the least important thing at the moment. Also, be aware that porn addiction (and masturbation addiction as well) can make you lose that wonderful relationship if you resume it after you get it. But judge yourself how serious it is, maybe you can handle that. Different people have different levels of addiction and may go through different recovery process.

    10 months is really nothing if you look at large scale. I personally rather spend celibate for that amount of time than have my urges satisfied but struggle with addiction. And because I would be too scared to cut it cold turkey I might end up struggling with it even longer, cos healing process is usually slower when in sexual relationship. So it's short term pleasure for long term pain. While 300 days is short term pain for long term pleasure. The goal for me of course is to get free from this for life. But if for you it is just to find a relationship and then resume so be it, just be careful you don't end up where you started.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. IGY

    IGY Guest

    You will care when you go to fuck her and you still have floppy dick syndrome! Then you will wish you listened to us! :rolleyes:
     
  15. rich899

    rich899 Fapstronaut

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    I'm a newbie here so I could be wrong, but I've been operating under the assumption that refraining from PMO does not necessarily mean refraining from real sex with a committed partner. I'm refraining from PM and solo O but not from sex with my wife and I assumed some of those long streaks were people doing something similar. After 14 days of no PMO, real sex is already better.
     
  16. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    It takes different people different amounts of time. I don't think any of us are doing this with the long term ambition of lifelong celibacy. We do want to break our dependence on artificial stimulation. I always like to think of it in context of how long we were destroying our brains for. Many of us had 5-10 years, maybe more, of heavy PMO use. If you'd been abusing drugs for that period of time then 10 months to completely break the addiction (if such thing is even possible) wouldn't seem like that long.

    For me, when 90 days was over I had zero interest in anything sexual. I was in a really deep flatline (at day 50 I still had all my superpowers). The course of this recovery is really variable. It's a healing process and it unfortunately takes as long as it takes.
     
    oversexedsami likes this.
  17. i havet had that for 3 years...I must be done with with porn, more then I think. just trying to kick the M O part
     
  18. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    It has never been said that you must abstain from sex to have a reboot. A reboot is abstaining from PMO, mostly staying away from porn! It has been said it will take longer to reboot if you are having sex during a reboot, but who cares, it's not a race. Go find your girlfriend, but stay away from PMO, P, MO.
     
  19. IGY

    IGY Guest

    You can interpret it anyway you want. But hard mode means no orgasm, even with a partner. Easy mode means you can have sex. But after sex there is a chaser effect and a possibility of P, M or Oing. Also, because the brain is trying to heal from sexual over stimulation, having sex will slow down the recalibration of the brain's reward circuitry.
     
    Fork2323 likes this.
  20. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    some people are celibate and long streaks are totally what they are about - it takes a while to commit to being celibate and there is so much to learn in the process - also I joined NoFap with no porn problem at all - I was just delighted to find people who would support me in reducing my mo habit - this has worked really well and I am so grateful.
     
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