Work, studies, Nofap and no kiss in 15 years

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ChristoX8, May 22, 2016.

  1. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

    Hi everyone, long time no see! I'm back on NoFap, doing great, tonight is day 5 and I'm proud to say I have not felt the urge to PMO since I restarted NoFap. I did not feel the urge to PMO BUT since yesterday, I have this intruding thought that keeps coming back about going to the bars and having sex with beautiful girls. lol This is obviously my porn addiction hard at work and I'd do these girls with pleasure, if it wasn't for the fact that I still think of them as mere sex objects and I refuse to do that, I refuse to give in to this way of thinking. Women are more than just sperm banks and I won't have sex with any of them until I judge my brain is fully rewired. Three things though, I identified, are causing my problems with my resolution and I'd need advices to deal with each and every one of them.

    First, because of pornography and sexual abuse during my childhood, I haven't done anything more than hugging one girl, one time, in the last 15 years. I'm 26, btw. This lack of love, human touch and intimacy, has created tremendous sexual frustration and sorrow in me. I'm following a therapy atm, started them 2 years and a half ago, the results are fantastic, the changes ae YUGE, I went from a 141 pounds shy depressed girly man to a 187 buffed happy confident man but I long for human touch, it's been so long! I can only hope my therapy will help me with that because as of now, it's extremely difficult to not think of girls as more than sex objects, after 15 years of involuntary abstinence. Anybody got any idea about that?

    Also, while I want sex sex sex, I also want a relationship. lol Chicken or egg? It seems I want both but I work a lot and I wouldn't be able to see said future girlfriend that often. Everybody works, it wouldn't be that much of a problem, I'd find a way but where it gets more complex is that I'm doing high school mathematics to get admitted in finance, at a university. I want to become a businessman, become a millionnaire or billionnaire and be able to help the human race as much as I possibly can. My businesses will give money and jobs to people, I'll do charity events, really, I want to give back and help as many people as I can, while having fun. Finance are so much fun for me and real estate. I know a lot of people in the real estate industry of my town, I have still A LOT of work to do but I'm spending lots of time to educate myself and learn wth I'm doing. Since I work, I'll be going to school the evening (right now, I'm doing lower grades at home but will take evening classes to speed up things) and after that, I'll be attending uni for 4 years. Add to that, training 3 nights a week and how the hell am I supposed to find the time to have a girlfriend??

    My therapist say I need to get one because basically, I've been wanting one for 15 years and I agree, it would do me a lot of good but I have huge ambition, I work on my future most of my evenings, if it's not math, it's reading books about businesses, success, self-improvement, finance, the ways the world work and I don't want to drop all that, just for women, as much as I want them. To accomplish my dreams and aspirations, I need to get a degree and I won't let anything get in my way. But I want a girlfriend too. lol It affects me at a certain degree, I'm lacking love/sex and I don't that to derail my plan. Anyone has an idea how to make this possible?

    Thirdly, I have this feeling that all girls that go to bars are party girls and since I'm more the businessman type, all this will lead to, is sex and deeper relationships, am I wrong? I hope I am. I just don't like to party, it's not that I'm boring, I know how to have fun but I don't like bars and partying much. I'm very disciplined and every aspect of my life is structured. I believe it needs to be because in real estate, no one will do me gifts and I'll get wiped out if I'm not tough/ordered enough. I'm very resilient and I'm patient, this will help me in the future. In any case, where do you mean serious girls, in libraries? Probably at university but I'm not admitted yet.

    Last edited: May 23, 2016
  2. First of all, I think it is brilliant the way you are going about changing your life. You know what you want to be and you have a clear plan to get there. There will be plenty of opportunities at uni to get to know girls.

    As for now? My advice would be to talk to girls in any place. Coffee shops, in the mall, where ever. Hold eye contact and talk about their interests. This will help humanise them.

    If you are scared of approaching girls like this (like me) then look at trying "rejection therapy", which you may have heard of. Approaching people with the aim of getting a "no". Idea is to detach from the outcome.

    Hope that helps. And trust me, if you follow this 4 year plan of yours, the nofap will happen, because **your new, healthy, finance Identity is someone who doesn't use porn**.
    ChristoX8 likes this.
  3. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

    Thank you, Break the Chain. Yes, my father was a very successful accountant so I definitely inherited his strongest points. Discipline, resilience, passion, smartness, toughness, very good with logic and mathematics. I believe there will be girls that will love these personal traits.

    Yeah. Great advice, thanks!

    ''Rejection therapy'', I'll look it up and if one is available in my town, I'll go attend. I REALLY am scared of approaching girls due to fear of rejection so that would perfect for me!

    That's right! As someone once said on these forums, ''do you think Donald Trump or Batman fap?'' LOLL I don't think so. Well, maybe Batman because he's kinda lonely but that's not the point... hahahaha!
    Break the Chain likes this.

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