worried about my current relationship.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by mikeike125, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. mikeike125

    mikeike125 New Fapstronaut

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    hello.
    this is my first day on nofap and im excited to be on this journey with others and know that im not alone in this.
    i have been dating this amazing girl for 2 months and she is everything i look for in a partner. shes funny and geeky like me, but she is asexual.
    for those who dont know what that means, she doesnt have sexual thoughts or cravings like other women. she pretty much has no sex drive and i was okay with that.
    to my shame i was okay with it because i was watching porn and engaging in porn games and even a porn MMO.
    i was watching porn many years before i met her, and since she is asexual i guess i have the need to fill that sexless void.
    then i decided she was worth quitting for.
    i quit last week cold turkey.
    all of a sudden i was feeling unmotivated, my anxiety shot through the roof.
    i felt depressed and at times had suicidal thoughts. but had the good sense to not entertain or act on those thoughts. its taken me about a week to realize that this might be the root problem. i thought it might be commitment issues and many more thoughts along those lines, but this makes the most sense because i didnt have these thoughts and feelings until i quit porn completely.
    since i learned about this site i have felt a little bit better knowing im not alone and i can get the help i need. for my relationships sake.
    i really do love her but this feeling is overwhelming and almost destroyed us. but i refuse to let that happen. because i know these feelings and thoughts are not going to last forever. i know she will put up with me but for how long i dont know.
    id love to talk to anybody with similar issues. thanks for listening to my story.
    also should i tell her about all this?
     
  2. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    Greeting and welcome! This is an amazing site with lots of helpful people who can relate. Good on you for doing something about your addiction and getting to terms with underlying issues, and understanding that suicide won't solve anything.

    I don't know you or your girlfriend well enough to decide if you should tell her about any of these things. If you're comfortable around her and trust her with that information, then go for it. It's up to you how comfortable you feel with that.

    But you're always free to talk and vent about any issue on this site, and I'm sure people will gladly help you out with advice. :)
     
  3. mikeike125

    mikeike125 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much.
    Means a lot to know i am not alone in this like ive said before. Some if not a lot of my anxiety comes from telling her or not. If she accepts who i am and supports me through this im sure to feel a lot better. im sure of it.
     
  4. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    @mikeike125

    Understandable. We all want to be accepted for the people we truly are. But you never know what people think until you've communicated about it. It might be too early to drop this information, if you've only known each other for 2 months and haven't established the proper trust and bonding with each other yet. In the meantime you can always draw on resources and support on this site or other close people in your life. But in the end, you're the better judge of who to share your information with.
     

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