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Worst thing ever - need help!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Sep 5, 2018.

  1. I'm really pissed so this is probably going to mostly just be a rant - I'm honestly just tired and have had enough but also tired of saying that I've had enough. This is the worst thing that I have ever gotten addicted to, and I've smoked cigarettes and weed and drank liquor as well throughout my teenage years. I am 23 now and have stopped all of that thankfully - it was all relatively easy to quit but this no PMO thing on the other hand is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's like I hate it but I love it at the same time, but I don't love it in that way - it's just that it's as if I can't live without it. It has me so hooked on it that my day practically revolves around it, where I won't waste my time on anything else but if I have to PMO then I will spend anywhere from 20 min to even 2 and a half hours!

    I want to stop because first and foremost, I am now a practicing Muslim and must stay away from anything that involves sex before marriage in general. Secondly, it has messed up my life and even though I'm blessed with a good job, family, friends and talent, it's as if none of that means anything to me if I can't be at peace internally. Everyone that I have spoken to has tried to help me in one way or another for some period of time but then eventually forgot about my problem - it's as if they don't see the seriousness of this issue as it is not spoken about as much as drugs and alcohol addictions etc. I try my best to stop, but I eventually end up relapsing somewhere down the line, and then one relapse leads to another for a couple of days. I can't stay away from it no matter how much I try because even after putting child locks on all my devices I still find a way to do PMO.

    I need real help, I don't have time for rehab as I have a full time job and it's too early in my career to just "take a break" or something like that even though I really need to. I know that this is probably somewhere on this website but I need someone to please provide me with some info on what I can do on a daily basis to keep my self away from this stuff - please don't tell me about internet filters or anything like that as I will always find a way to break through those. Please provide me with routines or practices that have helped you - if there is a useful website or link please direct me to that.

    Thanks!!
     
  2. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

  3. It sounds like you need something to take the place of any time you might to PMO. You have been a here a while and probably already know most of the drills.
    Keep your mind focused on your goal. Don't be alone unless you have to. When you do have to be alone make sure you are doing something you enjoy. Something has to take it's place.
     
    Nugget9 and JoePineapples like this.
  4. helterskelter

    helterskelter Fapstronaut

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    My advice to you.....sink into your feelings. Feel them don't run from them..Feel the anger feel the pain feel the sadness. Feel the cravings. Don't fight them..Just feel them. Notice how your body feels when you want to fap. Notice the sensations around your body. Allow them to be there. They will fade on their own. Next time you experience urges....set a timer and just let the cravings be there. Let the emotion be there. Write it down if need be. But don't fight it. When the urges subside or pass stop the timer. Each time this occurs allow them. By fighting and trying to distract you increase resistance. Which means distress.face them head on. Stare at them.feel where your bodily sensations are located...where on the body. Write it down.

    We don't as humans have to feel amazing 24/7. We can't. Don't fight thoughts either. Allow the sexy thoughts aswell. If you respond to arousal. Let the arousal be there. It will fade when it's ready.. This is called surrender. When we can surrender ironically we regain control.....and choose how we react.

    So practice sitting or being as you are. Angry sad horny frustrated lonly. Tell yourself this is a normal emotion it will pass. It may take an hour it may take 5 minutes. Just allow it. Give up the fight and I promise you it will leave in time.

    What we resist.....persists.
    Fapping is merely an escape from these negative states. Something I learned if we try to isolate the negative emotions....We also close the door to positive ones. If you stay with the feelings long enough for them to pass on their own without fapping. Without trying.Without fighting....You are slowly teaching your mind that you do not need to escape these feelings. They will come and go as they please

    A feeling is just a feeling. It will go. The more we try to escape them the more power they have. If you felt sad for 6 hours and fapped and you'd feel good for a few minutes. Then feel sad again and reflect on the fap for days. If you felt sad for 6 hours but stayed with it until it went away on its own....the power you feel is quite immense. And will last far longer than the 20 minute fap.

    Practice and practice. You will see results I guarantee. Let yourself be angry.just calmly remind yourself my body will respond when it is ready. When you can observe and watch feelings and emotions without reacting.....You are in full control.

    Stay strong man
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2018
  5. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    There's a Muslim group, on the group's page... I'm not religious, so I can't offer advice on that side of things, but I'm sure some of the guys on there will be able to help.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Circle yourself with people who don't think Fapping is ok and it's ok for addicts.
    Keep busy. Maybe think of who you want to be seen as from other people. Finding the right woman could help you. Military could help you. Got to stop being a bitch.
    Sorry if it sounds mean.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Health is key

    Health is key Fapstronaut

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    Bro I know you said don't mention internet filters but after two years of trying to break this addiction and failing I realised a complete blanket blocker was necessary. Changing your environment is absolutely key rather than being surrounded my triggers and fighting temptations. I use a combination of k9 and Leechblock on my computer. Leechblock allows me to block words. Also have restrictions on my phone. Here is the biggest detail though. I created randomised passwords for all of them. Created an email that was randomised to set up these blockers. And then burnt the passwords of all of them so I literally have no way of getting around any of them. I found a way to delete incognito tab as that would by pass my blockers. You have got to create an environment that removes 100% access. Threw away my lubricants and all my moisturisers. All social media is blocked. It is the only way bro. Routines and practices only work for a while and then in that one moment of weakness you break. It comes out of nowhere as well. Changing your environment to be PMO free is the most important thing from my experience.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. msfreedom

    msfreedom Fapstronaut

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    Wow.. just beautiful. And I totally agree. Thank you you random internet stranger :))
     
  9. helterskelter

    helterskelter Fapstronaut

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    You are most very welcome. I've battled many things over the past 20 years. Like to think I've learned a thing or 2.

    Take care
     
  10. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    I don't think rehab is the answer. Plus they are very expensive. Basically no one but ourselves can fix the problem.

    I mean when you are ready, you will fix it.

    Honestly I cannot really share with you any magic routine. Firstly I don't want to push my spiritual beliefs onto you, and secondly I don't think a routine is enough. I think we need to change. A spiritual routine would help you do that for sure but the point is we need to change the way we think about things which will alter how we conduct ourselves. A healthy emotional understanding and self-control should be enough to prevent one from resorting to this destructive behavior it really is that simple.

    I mean being an addict is like being a baby who uses PMO as an emotional pacifier in a way. Time to grow up? Me and you both.
     
    Nugget9 and Deleted Account like this.
  11. PowerMe

    PowerMe New Fapstronaut

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    I been there body, I feel your struggle, I even sold my computer to stay away from porn. Didn’t work cuz my brain found a way to pass my phone filters, the only thing that works and still is working for me is to feel the pain that porn and masturbation is causing to me and others, in my case my beautiful gf broke up with me because of that, and that was painful as hell, I feel the pain so deeply that makes me cry, I losing people in my live because of an addiction, I realized that if I continue with the same behaviors my life will be waste forever.
    First thing to do, Look at your mirror and repeat to yourself “I love myself” many times, you have to believe it and feel it.
    Number 2, are you willing to die in order to become a different person? I mean in order to change your life you have to become some else, you must leave behind your personality that creates your personal reality and embrace a healthy and stronger new one, Make a decision right now that never again you will watch p. Make a decision now if like your own life is depending of it.
     
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