Would a girl want to date a 30 year old that still lives at home with his parents.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zxcv, Jan 23, 2020.

  1. AfricanSunset

    AfricanSunset Fapstronaut

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    Emotionally and spiritually supporting a women. Be vulnerable with her. Build a friendship with her. I think that would br step one.
     
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  2. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

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    I am living in germany and I have seen only one view in my life and this is that woman are only searching men under a specific condition. A condition for looks, so woman feeling more good sitting next to an atractive men (without question his charakter!), a condition for being the person who are the semen producer for their babies (so woman can divorce the men and keep having sex with several other men or they keep living like that without loving the partner), a condition for chasing someone who has a well-paid-job so woman keep on fantasizing about having a family, although men these days are more willing not to have kids nor a family and I see that woman forces men to do what they've dreamed and what they want to do, and they dont respect mens choice, and men are just like their slaves in my opinion. And men are chased under the condition that men had to have experiences in bed with several other woman before dating them. There is also a youtube video about this watch this:
    I dont see any woman in germany yet who would sacrifice their lives to men. But men would do everything for a woman. I have heard alot of stories from many men, and I have to say that as a men, if you are weak, ill, without a job, not good looking, not willing to have a family then you are not loved by any woman. I have heard on a radio nighttalk show (the name of the old show is called Domian) that a girl left her boyfriend just because he got broken bones and as she heard that he will be sitting on a wheelchair for the rest of his life she left him and said "I want to have more fun in life and if I do care for you I will not have fun anymore"..... and she left him and her boyfriend wasn't even angry at her. What is love now? Selfish? Is the meaning of love only what peoples bring them personaly further in life? I am really ashamed being on earth to see that and I dont believe in true love bullshit not anymore. I can't even imagine that there are girls nowadays who think different. No we are not mysoginst, we love woman but we just see the world how it is now, until we have experienced something different. Maybe sweden is different, I dont know but I would guess that western countries in general are not good to date woman. If I just hear that a woman in germany had a couple boyfriends in her life and has already kissed and had already multiple times sex without knowing the partner better then I wouldn't even date that kind of woman. I am sorry.
    I dont want to be the 101st men and I also dont want to search for the 101st woman. I hope you understand my concern. I love you all. ( I will hopefully stay virgin and I will go my way, I am done with the world)
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  3. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Some of the things you mention are unfortunately true.

    1. Women are in general shallow and look for the most attractive man when it comes to dating. Remember though that this holds true for both sexes. Very beautiful people want to date other beautiful people, and have sex with them. Men get very butthutt by this behaviour in women, and some comfort themselves with made up believes that women are in fact "emotional" and don't care about looks. That's not true.

    Not-so-good looking men get upset by being rejected by extremely good looking women and draw the conclusion that women are all whores and worthless, when in fact the men themselves wouldn't even consider someone in their own category, because they "can never date one over 30" even if they are geriatric themselves, or "don't want anyone with kids", even though they have a bussload of children themselves, or "can't possibly consider anyone with less than perfect figure", but are fat as fuck themselves (and the list goes on and on). These men, after the age of 40, end up buying Asians, because "these women appreciate old men" (read: These women are exceptionally poor and don't have a choice).

    2. Women do in general want someone with money, but this is not an Western girl phenomenon, quite the opposite. The higher the inequality is in a country, the more money the women expect her future husband to earn. I lived several years in a poor country, and the women there demanded that the man should have a certain type of car, buy them things and provide for them. The richer the better, personality didn't matter 1%. If the guy was super nice but worked in a coffee shop, he had no chance. Sons of drug dealers and other nasty criminals were highly sought after.

    Western women have their own jobs, apartment, careers and so on. We look for ambition, but not money (if I need money I go out and earn it myself). I've never had the "what kind of a car does he drive?"-discussion with my western women friends. Most can't even mention a car brand to save their life. We buy our own jewels, holidays, purses and make up, and while we get happy by being treated to a meal and flowers now and then, we don't expect it. So I am fairly sure many western women wouldn't have a problem dating someone who still lived at home provided he was 1. Attractive and 2. Ambitious.

    We get approximately what we can give ourselves. No money? Then you won't get the plastic doll Russian Instagram model. No looks? Then you won't get a super attractive mate. No education? You might be turned down by some PhD students. Hey, that's life. Women have known this for centuries and we don't sulk about it.

    BUT for those who are willing to look deeper, maybe date within their own category, there are tons of loving western women who will do anything for their man, that I know for certain. True love is everywhere, just not in the bikini model virgin package so many guys look for.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2020
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  4. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    Sure thing.

    No need to be all negative because of majority of bad people (women/men) all around. You should appreciate more and value more good ones (even if you just will meet few in course of your life) in this world full of temptations and shit
     
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  5. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    I am not misogynistic, just a realistic, sane and healthy man who can't afford drawing too much insanity and unhealthiness into my own life since that will decrease my quality of life tremendously. That's why I am quite selective about what kind of women (and people) I bring into my life since my time on this earth is limited and I prefer spending it as wisely as possible.
    I rather be alone and sane than coupled and miserable any time of the week, unlike the masses of needy men out there. But, if that's misogynistic, so be it.
    There are indeed many great Swedish women out there (who are feminine, caring, calm, and sane) but there are also many of them these days (especially the younger ones) who are very spoilt, entitled and think they all deserve a man in the top-percentile while not bringing a lot to the table themselves. They tend to complain about so many petty things that women in developing countries would only laugh at if they knew about it.
    What baffles me the most are those educated women in their 30's and up who complain about never finding a man while simultaneously having literally brought themselves out of the dating market. Partially because they are 30+ and not as attractive, fertile and young as they used to be (while facing competition from younger women that men will prefer more) while not dating a man whose education-level isn't at level with theirs.
    These women do only have two choices:
    -Realizing that there aren't a whole lot of six foot, handsome looking PhD (or CEO)-men out there and hence have to pick a man who is below them in economic status/income level.
    -Live life alone without a man since no man she comes across is living up to her high standards.

    I do consider the blunt misandry in Swedish society these days as a much bigger issue overall and the true misogyni out that's out there usually comes from non-Western men who come from cultures where women are not respected or treated well at all. That's why I always tell my younger sisters to watch out for these men in particular since Nordic women are amongst the most empathetic ones on planet earth and many non-Western men do many times tend to use that biological reality for their manipulative and vile purposes. A reality that our mainstream-media never warns them about and hence, many of them fall victims to sex-crimes en masse.
     
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  6. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    What you tend to leave out is the fact that men also have it much harder to date when they get older, as their DNA methylates and their testosterone levels and general fitness decline, increasing the risk of birth defects and psychological disorders in the child. Evolutionary, young women prefer young men and vice versa, and that's just how it is suppose to be! So the smugness and disillusion among some men 35+ is just staggering to me, since I am operating in medical research where the effects on children with older fathers and mothers are becoming increasingly well documented. Men, and in this day and age also women, generally have to compensate with money and/or status in order to date younger mates. To each their own! But for a man to bash women ruthlessly when they are sitting in virtually the exact same dating boat is a bit rich.

    Today the average age for a woman giving birth for the first time in Stockholm is creeping up to 40 years old, so the old adage that women are basically infertile past 20 is based on a severely outdated study made in France in the 1600s (but weirdly still touted around as truth among modern day men and scarily enough even some fertility clinics in need of customers).

    Most older men and women can go out and get laid with much younger paramours every day of the week, but few twenty somethings are interested in anything serious with someone who could be their parent (unless Visa or Green card is provided).

    I do agree with you that there is an abundance of women with impossibly high standards that would benefit a great deal from lowering those. As you say, its certainly not feasable to expect a 6ft CEO when you are a single mother waitress over 35. But if you look closely at your demands, wanting a doting 20 something woman to raise a family with when you are 40, but she is not allowed to be entitled or spoilt (which most people in their twenties are due to brain development in that time frame); that's not exactly too humble either.

    I don't wanna go into the whole "men from other culture"-debate. There are plenty of pigs out there, both western and non western. It's probably smarter to tell your sisters to be vary of all men to a degree, but also to let them know there are incredible loyal and loving guys out there for them as well.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2020
  7. slb_123

    slb_123 Fapstronaut

    The type he is referreing to is most likely the typical unfaithful who always tries to "trade up". While few girls actually do this, the ones who does are almost always western women +\- 30 yrs old, and feminist. While you can probably detect the types of men that you would never be in a relationship with from miles, we have the same radar when it comes to women.
     
  8. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    I doubt there is any scientific study that supports this claim. Those with the most oppurtunities (and low self esteem) are slightly overrepresented when it comes to cheating (read: very attractive young women and handsome men in power).

    Being a western woman in my 30s myself, and having married friends like me, I can safely say that we often work so much and have children to take care of and frankly don't have time or patience for any cheating bullshit.
     
  9. slb_123

    slb_123 Fapstronaut

    "Trading up" is something many women in their 20´s do. The reason is likely that most women can get laid with almost any man they choose, no matter how handsome he is. Less pretty women have to work a bit more, but they usually get their way as well. So they think getting maried with a man they want will be just as easy, but its not. They often go into their 30´s before they realize that, and at that point they have to lower their standard quite a lot. You don´t need a "scientific study" for this, its easily observable.
     
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  10. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    There seems to be a slight inclination for women to want better and for men to want more. With age, it gets harder for both genders to achieve this.

    However, many people (yes, even the much hated 30+ western feminist women that men here are so deadly afraid of!) genuinely love their partners and would never ever hurt them, no matter who/what comes along.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2020
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  11. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with McGyver post on age difference.

    Girls mature much faster than boys (so that’s why in many cases when young they are not interested in dating boys of the same age), they get older when giving a birth (smth like +3 years at once, speaking of health), the most valuable (in eyes of women) characteristics of men are maturity (protector etc.), position in society (provider etc.). That’s what you give to the plate, so men are like wine, lol. And one of the most valuable women characteristic is her health (beauty (which considers as a sign of good health), young age, virginity in ideal case).
    But it’s a question of choice and preferences, so if you smb like women older or of the same age it’s his choice.

    Men’s decline in testosterone starts from 40 years old 1% each year.
    I think women giving birth of the firstborn at 40 tend to have only one child (their choice).
    Only one thing what I want to say by this post overall: Women’s youth is way more valuable than men’s relationship speaking
     
  12. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Its great that men think that. I greatly admire their unwavering self esteem.

    Many western women (at least all of those I know in their 20s and up) prefer youngish men for sex. Nobody cares much for "maturity", we have our grandparents for that. Financial protection isn't so important either, most women are already financially secure and generally well educated. You have to go to undeveloped countries to find poor women who are willing to date much older men (but of course even they would prefer a younger man physically, and probably fantasize about them during sex).

    If you ask a young woman what she wants, you will get a vastly different answer than if you ask a man what a young woman wants.
     
  13. Would a girl want to date a 30 year old that still lives at home with his parents.
    The answer i have seen as yes you need to stop putting women on a pedistal and start working on your self esteem. I have known women and men for whatever reason live at home and still date at that age and older . Not to put women down but if you think all women got there lives together and select the best people when they go out on dates and relationships you got alot to learn about women there human not perfect.
     
  14. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Yes, as long as men have the financial power. When women have the money, as it has started to happen in the West, they can "afford" men they desire physically. I understand that this is a provocative statement, but look around you. In Sweden, where I live, it's rare that a 20 year old girl would have an old boyfriend (other than as an experiment). In Russia, where many young women can't rely on their salary alone to lead a decent life, its common to have several older sugar daddies to entertain. Before, young polish women came to Sweden to marry older men. That's unheard of today when Poland is a richer country. The modern polish women can afford to choose younger mates of their liking, and they do.

    Every passing day ages our germ cells. Men are certainly not immune to this (and testosterone doesn't help). Both men and women risk more complications with reproduction as they age. That's normal, and constitutes the underpinnings of our youth driven evolutionary copulation strategies. If you are the average 50 years old, you are no longer God's gift to 20 year olds of the opposite sex (not if you are a man, not if you are a woman). And that's ok, you don't have to be. By that age, you might already have kids. Or grandkids. Or just a lovely partner roughly your age. Or you enjoy being single, the occasional hook up, or just a pillar of society in other ways.
     
  15. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    I was about to answer the last response but you pretty much said all that I was going to. Although women historically and evolutionary speaking might have had children with similarly aged men (or just slightly older) they did so since the life-expectancy in most of Europe was only 30-40 years of age until year 1800 and hence, the pool of potential older fathers was quite limited. People also lived an agricultural lifestyle in small villages where the contact with nearer cities and villages was quite limited so the women had to pick the best possible man they could and that was normally a man about their age since they were in better physical condition than older men.
    The older men (in their 30's and 40's) were usually more weakened by age-related aches and pains and were not as suitable for fathers (due to poorer health), even if they had slightly more resources and maturity than younger men. The women simply didn't want to gamble with the health of their potential offspring which was understandable.
    But of course, the few men who were older, in decent shape and had accumulated more resources were of course more suitable as partners than younger men since they simply had the economic means (and basic health-markers) to raise a family.

    Nowadays, it is a well-documented fact that most women have hit the so called "wall" at age 30 (some even earlier and some later) which is not surprising since they lose on average 90% of the eggs they had available only a few years earlier. As they have reached that point, their youth, fertility, and beauty is well passed its prime and she has to lower her standards in order to find a suitable man since men are primarily looking for youth, beauty, and fertility (as well as mental health markers).
    Men on the other hand, don't really have such a wall unless they make it up for themselves of course (by becoming fat, broke, sloppy, and lazy) since men's attractiveness amongst women usually is based on his accumulated resources (economic means), societal status, and level of maturity as well as basic health markers.
    Yes, I know it might sound misogynistic but that's the biological truth and reality. Women have all the power in the world at their feet between the ages of 15-30 (especially between 15-25), especially if they take good care of themselves and should cash in their chips while they are young and pretty because when they get past 30 years of age, they can't trade up any longer.

    Men on the other hand, usually have a rough time between those ages but their lives will get exponentially better past age 30 and especially past age 35 since they usually have accumulated more resources, life experience and societal status at that point.
     
  16. slb_123

    slb_123 Fapstronaut

    @Lilla_My
    its pretty obvious that you are not interested in realities, but rather what fits a certain political world view. For example, what you say about polish women is wrong. They didn´t come to Sweden to marry older men. They came to Sweden where "young" men with money where abundant compared to Poland, and where the living standard was substantially higher.
    Polish women choose men based on the excact same standard as they always have. Its just that now they find what they are looking for in Poland instead. The country is much richer, its the same culture and language, and frankly, Sweden has a somewhat bad rep in eastern Europe. To say that Polish women in general don´t have money and status as (probably) the main criteria is just wrong, and this is well known both inside and outside Poland.

    And btw, we are not afraid of feminists. We just don´t want to deal with it in a relationship. If you found a man who will, good for you.
     
  17. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    That's not well documented at all.
    https://www.bumc.bu.edu/busm/2013/0...es-and-females-boston-university-study-finds/

    At puberty, a girl has already lost the majority of her eggs. A smaller fraction remains. Does that mean that a 6 year old is more fertile than an 18 year old? Most people know that a 6 year old isn't fertile at all.

    Here are testosterone levels for men. Notice the decline after age 20. Does that mean a twenty year old guy has hit "the wall" because a teenager might be more fertile, with less methylation on his DNA? I doubt that's relevant.
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323085#typical-testosterone-levels
     
  18. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I wouldn't go much deep into that cheating topic unless you know the divorce rate in europe! I would see this issue as the same.
    https://www.statista.com/statistics/612207/divorce-rates-in-european-countries-per-100-marriages/
     
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  19. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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  20. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to say this but this is abit crappy. In general these single guys, also like me, wouldn't date over 30 year old woman because, we are afraid of the habit, that woman had these days to have upto 10 guys in their lives (one night stands are here included)
    It is not about good looking woman or not, I am not even interested in categorizing people, but it is the reality that those men were subdivided in men who can be seen as a profit for them or not. It is not about charakter,...it never was. Of course there are those fuckboys who dont give a shit about woman, but this happens only when you had a miserable personality or you were traumatized by men in the past, then this is also happening. And to point 2: I just gonna say that it is not like woman only dating rich guys but if it is not the money then it is his talent with sex and if it is not sex whats so important then it is the problem what many woman have those days guys, not want kids. If you truly love someone who would leave men, just because he doesnt want kids and also If your dreams are more importat than the heart of a guy then nobody shall tell me, talking about true love. And men are dating woman from poor contries cause these people are the only humans who understands the suffering of man. Therefore I can sympathize with the MGTOW movement but without saying that it is always the failure of woman. In the end of the day all people are suffering because people are not able to showing compassion to others no matter which gender it is.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2020
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