Would a good Christian girl give a guy that used to watch porn a chance?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by zxcv, Feb 5, 2017.

  1. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    query: when did you meet your SO?

    I ask because it is unclear and is a point of contention across the varying viewpoints here. Some would imagine this scenario:

    "I was walking my dog in the park, and this total babe came by to pet Fido. So, I told her all my struggles right then and there and it was fantastic!"

    I don't personally believe something like that is this case, your words lead me to believe that there were some circumstances that were around before you met her. Was it through online dating? Was it some other kind of event that you met, a wedding?

    Case in point above, online dating, there are some dynamics that may go along with that which make the disclosure of information easier. And, as you said, you're both in your 40's and that plays a lot into the context too. Anyways, glad things worked out for you. I know that my own viewpoint on this doesn't work in all cases and am happy to see exceptions.
     
  2. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you need to work on your own insecurities. I try not to go into new relationships with any expectations. No-one owes me anything, and my behaviour should dictate how people treat me.
     
    JustinX likes this.
  3. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

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    That's a personal preference of how you frame your addiction and how far you are into beating it though.

    I don't like or expect sympathy from other people, so I simply would not open up like that.

    I'm speaking for myself here.

    I absolutely refuse to ever show that kind of weakness to a woman, as I believe my self control is the only weakness, not the P itself.

    Some relationships though, especially when you are beginning to date in your teens or high school, can serve as bridging, learning experiences, and if it makes the person get stronger by opening up, then perhaps they will not need to later on.

    You can't judge other people for how they deal with their own problems though, as we do not all think the same, and you'd have to live in their shoes to understand.
     
  4. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

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    I can understand that, and I think once you get comfortable with someone you most certainly have more important conversations. I'm only starting to be attracted to maturity over looks and youthfulness.

    Each relationship is different though, and I'm not attracted to weak women. I like women who stand up for themselves and are driven by real goals. I have to figure our the energy levels and how strong I need to be to make sure she does not overtake me. The man must drive forward the relationship, constantly taking action with every moment. Aways looking for new ways to improve hisself and those around him.

    I'm a leader in one of my industries, and I simply put, cannot show weakness.
    If I did, I would not be at the top! It would make absolutely no sense, and I'd get eaten alive. I operate in a very safe space.

    It really does suck though, in some respects. I have to be very very very well guarded in many parts of my life.
     
  5. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    Well thats a healthy attitude.
     
  6. Laine2709

    Laine2709 Fapstronaut

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    I'm a Christian, and my bf told me about his struggles pretty early on and I was relieved that he wasn't trying to hide it from me. That's what irritates me more than anything that anyone could do is when they lie, or don't tell me. Tell her, just wait until you've actually moved from seeing each other to her actually being your gf.
     
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  7. lol @Star Lord our relationship amuses me so much. :*
     
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  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, reality is over-rated. Does the rose bemoan its emergence from the dirt?
     
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Once you start engaging in sexual activity [with the view towards deepening your relationship of course], then the physicality of that relationship should do a lot to stop the temptation to lapse. I have to admit, as someone in monk mode, that it annoys the hell out of me when I see people abusing porn and themselves whilst in a relationship.
     
    TooMuchTooSoon likes this.

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