would anyone try escort?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by lingcanada, Jul 15, 2019.

  1. Hi, this thread is really interesting. Today I visited a escort and it was great s**. I visited prostitutes and escorts since 2 years and maybe 35 times all together. I always think this time its the last time, but it isn't. Another reason for me is that I think its better then watching P because it is real s**. But there are some similarities: You are directly into some sexual thing when meeting such a woman like watching P. It's not the same as with a real woman, then is not all about your sexual satisfaction.

    I don't know how to change this habit, especially when I try to avoid P and M I get so horny and then this opportunity is here and my brain is creative enough to convince with some excuse. I also tryed just masturbation just with fantasy but this leads me to much masturbation and I get even more horny and it didn't help.

    I don't want to do PMO, I like to have s** with woman, but not with woman I need to pay for. I don't know how to get enough control to stop this.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2019
  2. Fitness1983

    Fitness1983 Fapstronaut

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    The idea that developing an escort habit, no matter how frequent or infrequent, is somehow “better” than masturbating or masturbating to porn can only be viewed as a rationalization.

    Watch some sex worker documentaries. Do some research into the larger dynamic of the sex industry. In my experience the woman who is doing some escorting as some kind of side gig to pay tuition or pay down credit card debt and ALSO derives satisfaction from it is incredibly rare.

    Most of these women are in various forms of desperation, if not outright exploitation, and find it very conflicting at best or purely degrading at worst.

    I’m sure some exceptions exist but don’t let the statistical minority be a justification.

    As we all know, part of what makes porn and mastubation so damaging and behavior we’d like to stop is how obsessive and compulsive it becomes.

    When real women are involved....it gets worse. Not to mention, more expensive and more infinitely more dangerous.
     
  3. Allow me to tell you the story about the time I briefly dated a man who had recently stopped seeing escorts shortly before we met.

    He told me that he had been seeing escorts for years bc he wasn’t dating anyone and thought it was a perfectly healthy way to satisfy his sexual needs.

    He told me that he’d been seeing escorts for so long that he no longer knew how to talk to or relate to other women as friends or romantic partners. He’d lost the ability to talk to women. He definitely didn’t know how to romance a woman.

    On our 1st date he thought it was acceptable to rub his crotch against me as if that would turn me on somehow. This is totally unacceptable behavior for anyone who’s wondering. It’s creepy and gross and women DO NOT LIKE IT.

    Then he gave me a spoon rest from the dollar store as a way of wooing me, I guess. It wasn’t even wrapped or anything. He just handed it to me and said, “here. This is for you”. Bizarre.

    I’m not a gold digger or anything. I don’t even wear jewelry or designer clothes. A nice Hallmark card saying something like, I appreciate your friendship or a nice walk in the park would have been at least from the heart.

    I stopped seeing him shortly after that bc I just didn’t feel like he liked me or really even wanted to be with me and his behavior was strange. This dude was in his 50’s at the time and his situation was kind of sad. He watched P, too. So escorts and P had a detrimental effect in his life and affected his relationships and interactions with women.

    Sad.
     
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  4. Fitness1983

    Fitness1983 Fapstronaut

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    That is definitely odd.

    Part of the reason I’ve been so vocal in this thread is because at one point I figured if I am willing to pay and they are willing to accept payment and give me what I want in return, then what’s the problem?

    Well, I learned the hard way that it’s not just a simple transaction. Aside from the safety risks, developing these sorts of immediate gratification relationships can have a very distorting, corrupting affect on the skills necessary to develop genuine, caring relationships in the long term
     
  5. Here in NYC there’s a long tradition of “modeling agencies” finding underage beautiful girls from all over the world and bringing them to NY with promises of modeling careers, putting them in apartments where they live with several other girls and pimping them out to rich men. They string the girls along with “why don’t you do this (escorting) until we can find you some modeling work.”

    The girls are desperate bc they told friends and family that they were going to NY to be successful models so they want the escorting money (of which the agency gets a huge cut) to create the illusion that they are successful for people back home and to send money to their poor families. Usually, the only modeling they end up doing is nude.

    Around 22 they’re considered too old and told to get out of the apartment. They have no education, usually never even finished high school, no skills, don’t want to go back to the small town or poor village they’re originally from so they continue to escort or strip, do nude modeling. A few get into porn. Some marry rich, although that’s rare. Some become “kept” women.

    A lot of super models have become escorts for billionaires once they became too old to have lucrative modeling careers. Ever wonder why they’re always dating billionaires.
     
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  6. Thank you for your answers and the interesting stories. My view on escorts and so on varies from time to time: When I am satisfied (after a visit or P), I feel often lonely and I like to cuddle or do some romantic things like sleeping next so somebody. At this point I always think that I should search a woman for a relationship. I think if I only would focus on that I will find one.

    But the problem is that I get megalomaniac very fast and think I can f*** half the world and I should do this as long I as am "young", "young" means before I like to have a own family with children. The existence of P, but also videos and blogs about pick-up and general self-development make me believe that it is possible to have at least sex with a few hundred woman you can hook up somewhere in public: It's just a problem of will, priorities and self-confidence.

    But the sad reality is that I had sex with only one girl from the "real life" (meaning not with dating apps or something else). We meet at a speed dating event and I thought for some time we could get into a relationship. But some part of me don't wants that because then she would be "the only" woman I can have sex with. The good thing is that we still like each other and are really good friends and I talk with her about my problems and she tells me hers. But with all these sexual things she can't help me because she don't understand that. That is the good thing, and the bad thing is that I spend more time on searching for and visiting hookers and using online dating apps then trying to meet "real" woman.
     
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  7. It’s not pmo. I agree. Completely. But it can be SA. (Sexually acting out). And that can be come (sexual addiction).

    I don’t think they should be lumped as the same thing.
     
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  8. purifyingmind@02

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    I am just recovering from oral herpes infection which I got from the lady in the office.
    I was doing oral and kissed sixth months ago. I thought I never had intercourse what can happen? But when three pimple appeared on scrotum, I cried. It was hard to explain to the doctor, when I went for testing in pathology lab the girl asked me why so many test and made me fill a form. You do sins in dark and you have to fill the form in front of three lab girls which you could have dated in different scenario.
    I told my parents I might die if anything serious. Good grace of God all test were negative but HSV 1 test came slight positive.
    Doctor assured me that I will be cured/healed in three months. I do feel better and healthy now. The infection will vanish but the trauma I went through will never be forgotten.
    The law of Karma is a complicated stuff , I enjoyed in dark and suffered in light.
    Be safe , be monogamous, all those religions alerted us about adultery and we thought it was old book stuff. But no, God created Sexually Transmitted Infection to punish the promiscuous guys. I found Buddhism and started following it and now abstain from impure thoughts too. Read whatever works for you but our ancestors were smart people. Be moral and don’t perform oral on girls ladies with unknown sexual history. Stay away from someone’s wife, widow, sister, mother etc. God watch all of us whether we are in darkness or light.
    God bless you, I hope this helps.
     
  9. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

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    Let me say, I saw tons of escorts, 20+ of them and I was addicted to the rush of it and the lead up to it I suppose, the driving to the hotel going up the elevator etc. I was also lucky that I didn’t get any STD as there were a few occasions where there was oral on me without protection, even going to the doctor to get tested and the fear, then finding out I’m clean is so stressful and not worth it.

    But when it was over and done with, I felt such a brutal feeling of shame and embarrassment and I just wanted to get the F out of there so quickly. I also felt like I just wasted so much money that could have been used for other things. Once it was over, that awkward feeling of putting on your shoes and walking out, the drive home was just agonizing but I just couldn’t stop doing it.

    You may feel like you really want to see an escort but the shame and regret you will feel once it’s over is VERY bad, believe me don’t put yourself through it. Don’t lower yourself to that. It’s sex yes but it’s completely devoid of love and intimacy, deep down that escort is saying in her head..”hurry up and get off of me and give me my money”

    She doesn’t care about you, only your money.
     
  10. I visited an Escort again yesterday and the problem is that we like each other. I stayed much longer then I have payed for and it was somehow romantic. I asked her if she wants to do something in private but she sayed no because business is business for her. But doesn't matter.

    I'm IT student so I spend much time sitting around and thinking about how to solve a problem or reading texts. When I did no PMO for one day or more it is really difficult for me to concentrate because every 5 minutes I need to think about Sex. And because I need to study, I have the 3 options of masturbating, visiting an escort/hooker or trying to concentrate on my studies, which is almost impossible. I try to do more physical exercise to may burn some energy, but I think it doesn't help me for my sex drive.

    In difference to most of you here, I typically feel good after a visit, only asking myself why I need to pay for sex and why I'm to stupid to get a sexual partner. But I want to stop it because it's a waste of money and the problem with the STD is also present.
     
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  11. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

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    Always remember you are paying for her time, any suggestion that she likes you is only to entice you to spend more money.
     
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  12. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    Well life is based on outcomes. It's either positive, negative or neutral. If i was to talk to someone i was interested in in real life of course the aim is to build rapport and create some sort of relationship. There comes a point when you want to go beyond practice and start connecting with people. Im looking for friendship, relationships and of course sex we are human after all. Having to replace the real thing with substitutes only gets you so far. I have used therapy in the past.
     
  13. I think this is not true. The problem is that I am not self confident enough to talk to woman. But things get better.

    But with the sympathy you are right. I will not visit her (or any escort/hooker) again.
     
  14. I hate to say this... but ugly short people do get women.

    Women are more susceptible to someone who knows how to talk than a good looking guy.

    I see ugly ass dudes with hot chicks all the time.
     
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  15. Can I ask what your job is? I have some women as friends and some of them have relationships with men who are not rich and have not much "power". But I have to admit that they look good. Of course it plays a role how you look like, but I think it is not that important for women than it is for men. I don't know how you look like, and you don't know how I look like. I'm not the most attractive man in the universe, but I think I am good looking. How you look is not your destiny. Some things like height may be difficult/impossible to change, but with healthy eating, exercising and a healthy lifestyle anybody can be more attractive to the opposite sex.

    Your right with that I am "poor". Depends on your definition on that. But we both are young, who is "rich" in his early twenties? Despite from some really successful people, most are not. You are right with the money and power, but this is just a result from being confidence and self-esteem.

    I don't referred to this kind of success. I try to change my life in many aspects.
     
  16. pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    You know what? I realized that the escorts are very expensive in my opinion. Think about it, you might as well pay down the debt that you owe. The reason why is this, you want to debt free as soon as possible and have financial freedom. Also, that's the effective way to spend money on. Escorts for me is not worth it, especially trying to recover from p and m. You'd be better off find something else to do.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  17. Perfect timing. Thank you man.
     

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