Would like a girlfriend so bad, help me

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ilcec, May 27, 2020.

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  1. ilcec

    ilcec Fapstronaut

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    After over 200 days on Nofap, I can't handle it anymore. I want a girlfriend, someone to hang out with. Without a girl, it is worse than I expected. I know that there is a quarantine right now, but I don't know if I will ever found my woman. I am trying so hard to regain my masculinity, to stop watching porn, trying to gain all those benefits that will make me a real man, a perfect man for a woman, but I still don't know how to find one. I am 17 years old and never had a girlfriend. What should I do?
     
  2. matt2k12

    matt2k12 Fapstronaut

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    fucking get your shit together dude. your a man. you act like a woman. women dont need a pussy. they already got one. so in terms of what to do, i recommend you to start focus on your life, goal, mission and purpose in life. your streak is awesome. dont break it.
     
  3. ilcec

    ilcec Fapstronaut

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    Thank Matt. I always focus on my goals, on myself, but sometimes I inevitably think about my love life and how miserable it is. I would try getting myself back together, maybe during summer, with some sea days, I will feel better and, maybe, I will meet a girl.
     
  4. zebiA

    zebiA Fapstronaut

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    Bro you still have your entire life ahead of you it’s okay <3 don’t chase the bee, chase the honey. when you’re always chasing for love it seems as if it just won’t come but you should just be patient and keep working on yourself. the girl will come trust me bro! NO SIMP NATION
     
  5. Syden

    Syden Fapstronaut

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    trust me man, if you wanna look for actual genuine love, the unconditional one, it's better to wait for it than to rush it. the rome wasn't build in one day phrase can be applied to this. great things take time and yes, even love.
     
  6. Teo Whispers

    Teo Whispers Fapstronaut

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    "If you chase women, you will lose money, but if you chase money, you won't lose women"
     
  7. Cioxim

    Cioxim Fapstronaut

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    Diet. Fitness. Dress better. Care about your appearance. Be healthy. Work on your flaws. Know your value...
     
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  8. buffness

    buffness Fapstronaut

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    All you have to do is ask one out/get a number. Keep trying until one says yes. If you aren't naturally attractive, then make a change. If you have a disgusting body - start exercising and eating better, if you have anxiety or some shit - expand your tiny ass social comfort zone, If you have no style - get some fucking style. If these aren't problems to you then follow my first 2 sentences.
     
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  9. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Every day that passes is gone.
     
  10. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    I had sex for the first time at age 21, so you are just fine.
    Man with a purpose in life don't go after woman, they go after their purpose. Woman go after man with a purpose, they are not attracted to a man that his only purpose is to get a girlfriend.

    Use that sexual energy nofap is giving you and go after what you really like in life, set goals, have ambitions and work for them 24/7. Eventually you will meet womans that are going to be naturally attracted to you because of your drive, goals and ambitions. Just ask them out and let them chase you, but never give up on your goals. A girlfriend/wife is a bonus on your happy life, never your purpose, goal or motivation.
     
  11. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Man I feel your pain. I spent (actually wasted) all of my 20s in the exact same place you are, except I wasn't even doing NoFap #1 because it didn't exist at the time and #2 I literally had no idea how much my PMOing was sabotaging me with women.

    I'm in my 50s now but when I look back, knowing what I know now, there were so many women I was in a position to approach... smart, beautiful, well grounded women... and some who approached me... and nothing happened with any of them because I was such a loser from PMO. Female friends would offer to set me up and I'd say, nah I'm good. My sister set me up with a smoking hot Swedish redhead and I completely botched that the first night and never saw her again. I would get dates with women and then cancel at the last minute with some chickenshit excuse because I was afraid it wouldn't go well. Man, I wasn't even putting myself in the game, how the hell could I ever expect to win?

    The advice of others here is spot on. Quit obsessing about this "lack" in your life. That comes off as neediness and causes you to act too accommodating towards women, which they hate. Yes, work on your career. Yes, find or develop a hobby. Yes, get your diet on point and find an exercise regimen that works for you. But don't do ANY of this to get a girlfriend. Do it for you. The right one(s) will notice at the right time, and if you've kept yourself straight on Nofap your natural Male instincts and energy will take it from there.
     
  12. Couple of things:
    Do you really want a girlfriend or do you just want someone to fuck? there is a clear difference
    Do you think you are attractive yourself to think that you are worthy of love?
    Also you are 17, relax.
     
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  13. FlowingSaiyan

    FlowingSaiyan Fapstronaut

    Well I suppose we're in the same boat here. I am also 17 and even I have never had a girlfriend. And even I feel this lack sometimes. You just can't help it. But what you can do and what I usually do is use my rationality here.

    Why do I feel this lack? Because I am lonely. OK. So we've established that. Is there any other reason reason I feel a lack? Maybe I have sexual needs? Not at all. OK. So the problem is that I'm lonely and I don't really have anyone to talk to. What part of that suggests that I need a girlfriend? My loneliness can just be removed if I have a few good friends, it doesn't necessarily have to be a girlfriend. Maybe even a mentor. Plus this is the time when I can either make or break my life. What if I start a relationship and then suddenly I have a breakup? I won't be able to perform well in any of the exams I have to give. My breakup would fuck my brain up. But what if I wait for a few years - no, maybe quite a lot of years - and establish a firm ground for me to stand on and then start a relationship? After that even if I do have a breakup it won't bring me to my knees. I can always look back upon what all I have accomplished and it would be quite evident that I would get a new girlfriend easily.

    Jordan B. Peterson says that you have to become 'competent'. Doing so will establish a firm place for you in the social hierarchy and you would become attractive for the opposite sex. Then women will come to you instead of you going to them. So let's focus on becoming competent my friend :)
     
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  14. brod2018

    brod2018 Fapstronaut

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    Mad respect, don't break your streak because you feel alone. You are still young and you're doing nofap at a young age and that will help you a lot with women. I had my first gf at 19 and back then I didn't know anything about relationships and it didn't work out. Don't rush things and don't compare yourself with others. Each one has his own time. And if you're going to college you're mostly gonna get a girlfriend or sex partners. Even if you don't and have a social life you'll get to it. Just keep working on yourself.
     
  15. ilcec

    ilcec Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot, guys, maybe the problem is this period of quarantine and loneliness. In fact, before the COVID, I was happy with my situation and my adventure on Nofap. I only have to focus on my goals right now, on real friends, on reading books, on fitness, on becoming the best version of myself. Before it comes my future, my career, who I am, and then girls and pleasures. This is going to be my first summer on Nofap. Maybe something will happen, I will make some experiences, the important thing is to not chase girls, I only have to enjoy my time!
     
  16. Submariner

    Submariner Fapstronaut

    You are totally right!

    And trust be on this: having a girlfriend isn't magical. You will still have bad days and feel miserable sometimes. A girl in your life can also bring a lot of stress and drama, especially if you are not 100% emotionally stable yourself. You are making the right choice now bro :)
     
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  17. NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

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    17 is no age to start to panic. Are you in school? Try getting to know girls in school. Do you have hobbies? Meet girls there. You can meet women everywhere so to speak. Also, the Covid situation makes everything a little different. It is pretty big to manage 200 days during times like this. That in itself is an inspiration.
     
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  18. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    im 37. amount of flakiness among women is incredible, they feel so privileged these days. so yeah, its not only a matter of showing up... but finding a good one. they have so many opportunities. dont kid yourself. they are usually dating multiple guys at the same time.
     
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  19. JoshuaGraham

    JoshuaGraham Temporarily Suspended

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    "I want to become a real man" bro who the hell are you listening to :D Whoever told you that you need a gf to be a real man is a bloody moron and you should tell him to talk to your hand because face is not listening.
    If you want a girlfriend then talk to girls that you think you like and take it from there. No one will give you any more solid advice.
     
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  20. smokeshade

    smokeshade Fapstronaut

    ^This. I hate the notion that someone is incomplete if they're single. People who buy into that get into relationships for the wrong reason and stop working on themselves if they actually get a good catch.

    As for your original post, by doing nofap for over 200 days you're already FAR better than I was when I was 17. I mean, damn, good job dude. I think you're also just bummed out about this lonely corona situation the whole world is in, and that's understandable, but it sounds like getting a girlfriend is your end goal with all this and if that's the case you need to let go of that. I'm not saying don't talk to girls, by all means do so, but don't make that your mission. As long as you're taking good care of yourself and respect yourself and have goals, people in general usually want to be around that. Just keep at it.

    And don't get impatient. You haven't even hit your 20's yet. I didn't start being highly active in the dating scene until I was in my mid 20's. You got PLENTY of time to make sure you got a good head start. Teenage relationships are usually stupid wastes of time anyways.
     
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