Would rather abstain completely, than give into my fetish

Hi there, yes I am in the same place but different fetish like cbt or ballbusting. I am not enjoying the sex with my wife or even masturbation because I need the punishment to increase sensations. I believe it started when I watched porn about these topics and I felt aroused. I have paid expensive Mistresses for that service to the point that I drained my hidden savings.
I’m in this place to start changing my life. I joined this place today but I stop porn and masturbation a week ago. Let’s count!

 

I have been there too, probably still there. I am currently in a stubborn mind state "I am not going to give into the fucking fetish no matter what the fuck happens". It's basically like, I have decided that my mind and my body needs to live according to my wants, because there is no way i am going to listen to it.

 

Great #UnStunned . That is the confidence required to overcome any addiction. It will be great to hear from you, what did you change in your life to achieve the 57-Day so far.

 

Haha thank you, basically took me 6 months to reach here. Dragged into humiliating porn I hit the rock-bottom of depression. When I tried quitting, couldn't stop relapsing to flashbacks and extreme porn. Yeah there might be fucking thousand fetishes in me because of porn, but you can defeat all those with just one thing -self control. You know lets just take an example, before every thought thats translates into an action, you have few seconds in your mind, which you are contemplating with what to do. This is what you have to control. Fetishes are bullshit, everything that damages you, your esteem, your happiness, your relationships, your family is bullshit. Tell me, if you knew you were drinking sweet poison would you drink it just because it tasted good? No bro, you are not that stupid, you know whats not good for you. Same with fetishes, let me sweet, sour, spicy, tf ever it wants to be. You just need to tell yourself, "nah, pls fuck off". I am writing a book based on self improvement, only done with one chapter for now, if you want to read it, ill send you a soft copy.

 

I would read your book UnStunned. Is this the first time you decide to put your fetish in control? The self-control is the main lack on most of us in this webpage...I think. Let me know how can i get the first chapter of your book.

 

Yes, will message you the link in private message once I am done formatting it. If you ask me bro, all these fetishes and stuff as just bs. Its just porn and your mind trying to mess with you. This attitude is something that you get when you realize in life, you just can't lose anymore. When you're done living according to things you don't want, the attitude comes in you automatically.

 

I've got zero blockers. My internet is does not have locks. Whenever I get urges, at that moment I know I have zero blockers, I know I have 2 choices to make. Either I just say fuck everything and go back to porn, or I don't watch porn, rather I build my empire. I choose the 2nd every god damn time till the so called 'fetish' doesn't understand to fuck off now.

 

I see you are a young guy, but you sound like an experienced person dealing with addictions. Is this the first time you stop your PMO?

 

First serious attempt

 

Congratulations for your 57-days! Let’s maintain the purpose! This is also my first serious attempt and I am 52-yrs old man. This is my day 7 without P or M or any fetish than involve a massage or others...

 

did you succed on stoping ballbusting and your other fetishes?

 

That's the goal

 

you can't stop something you love it

 

After rebooting, rewiring with real relationships and real sex makes its more difficult for porn to get back into your life. Once you get into a relationship, you realize all that sissy stuff is bullcrap, and the anxiety and humiliation begins to fade away.

Check out my story about dealing with the sissy fetish induced by porn: Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

And check out these YBOP articles for recovering form porn addiction and problematic fetishes

Evolution has not prepared your brain for today’s porn

Porn FAQs

Are my sexual problems (ED, DE, low libido) related to my porn use?

I’m straight, but attracted to transsexual or gay porn (or gay attracted to straight porn). What’s up?

Is my fetish porn-induced?

see rebooting basics page

Do I have to have sex in order to rewire?

Will stopping porn solve my problems?

Why is intermittent use (long abstinence with binges) an addiction risk?

 

What do you mean?

 

i m if you keep loves your fetishes you will never stop jerking to them ,the time you can stop them is when you change your emotion and how do you think of them (hate or any other negative feeling to them) but you gotta honest yourself first

 

Be quiet

 

Easier said then done. But you might be correct.

 

try this i feel it's working with me , see your fetish as how it it is on reality from exmple foot fetish look at something really disgusting and if you suck or lick her feet for exmple could give you a disease , like that you will change the way you see feet and you will stop doing it