Would this constitute a reset?

No. Don't let the white knights and feminists guilty trip you on here.

"It's a sexual experience with a real person"

Exactly!

 

Yes I would say it's a relapse. And I would recommend staying away from any kind of sexual activity for at least 2 years. Maybe 3.

 

2 to 3 years without sex? That's difficult! And finally having sex with a real person and not with your hand is already the prize of fapstinence. It is one of the reasons why many fapstronauts took the challenge in the first place--to gain a happy sex life and relationship.

 

it's up to you, for me its a relapse.
I used to go to these massage with happy endings once a month. it will just reinforce the neural pathways and circuit that have to do with reward for O and that's why its bad for your addiction

 

Why would it be a joke? The real withdrawal symptoms (post-acute withdrawal) ceases in about 2 to 3 years. Before that you'll never know what you really would have been without porn and masturbation in your life.

Your choice.

 

I don't think it's a relapse in the strict sense of the word, but it's still unhealthy behaviour that puts instant gratification above recovery.

It's turning a human being into a commodity and turning you into a meal ticket. Not good for your self esteem, not good for her self esteem.

I'm not a feminist (there's more than one route to equality), but I do not believe that human beings should be used like something you can pick off a shelf.

It's also (in my mind) not "real" sex - it's masturbating into a vagina.

 

Well that's precisely where the problem lies. It is in essence masturbating into a vagina, however that vagina does belong to a human being, whom has feelings and has a life. That's why it is wrong.

 

I kinda consider that a relapse, but it's really up to you in the end. I can't decide for you what you do or do not want. It's your choice in the end to decide what you really want! Stay strong!

 

If you want compromise, you could add an MO counter and say you've still gone 20 days without P. For me, going to a massage parlour and seeking sexual relief is as bad as paying a hooker. However if your justification is it's not porn that's up to you.

Either way you have masturbated (just with someone elses hand) and you have blown a load (or I'm assuming you have). Depending on your goals, you should decide if you consider it a relapse, however I think it was definitely an MO relapse, if not a P relapse.

Cheers
NoBrainer

(Ah woops, I was thinking you'd already done it sorry)

 

For me sex actually involves two willing parties who actually WANT to have sex with each other and actually have that emotional connection. That's one of the main reasons why I quit porn other than the fact that it is degrading. I personally don't support paying for sex because it degrades the idea of sex. True it is with a real person but that fact is you're still objectifying them because you don't know them other than their skin-deep appearance.

 

Happy ending? What a waste of a great massage. Someone spends that much time and energy in working on those muscles and all you really want is to orgasm?

It's a sexual experience FROM a real person, not with.

You are only 21 days into resetting so it is natural that you have yet to understand your addiction to PMO and the hard work to reboot. There is no "prize". There is no "safe" alternative. This is dealing with your obsession with self-gratification. While you are obsessing about sex the rest of the world is getting on with life.

If you want sex, the best way forward is to sort out your problem with it and then indulge it in a natural way.

 

In the old days I would have looked at this as a way to enhance PMO, making the fantasy even more real. So to me this would be the exact opposite of what I'm now trying to accomplish.

 

Sex in moderation is healthy, yes. Sex several times a week? Absolutely no. Not more than once a week and lovers should not reach orgasm for best results. Too frequent orgasm (1+ times a week) has a wonderful tendency to suck the love out of people and break relationships.

 

If you have a study or a report or some sociology paper that backs this up then please post. Otherwise I would suggest that there is no evidence that sex more than once a week breaks up relationships. Sex in moderation IS healthy. Sex when it is right with the right person is also healthy. You can't put numbers to it.