Would you date a feminist?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Lazarus Shuttlesworth, Oct 8, 2018.

  1. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    I don't see anything wrong with it. If she real feminist sure. If she one those crazy tumblr ones that think they are feminist, hell no lol
    ManHvnBnd and Amazing Athest like this.
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    How do you define a feminist? I’m female and I consider myself a feminist which to me means total and complete equality between men and women. Equal pay for equal work and equal opportunities to advance. The right to be the only person that makes choices about their bodies and their life choices. The right to be a stay at home mom if you want or work in a high level profession. I think often men see feminist as anti men but for the majority of us that’s not the case. Most women in the US are feminists so if you are not sure if you want to date one you are going to have a very tough time dating. I think the better question to ask is what values and beliefs are important to you in the person you are dating?
  3. Claiming that feminism is a movement for gender equality is like claiming that white supremacy is a movement for racial equality
  4. Sayonara

    Sayonara Fapstronaut

    I find this really interesting. Like many people I came across the word feminism/st through media, alongside images and articles of shaved head, bra-burning women who 'hate men'. It made me very quickly distance myself from the word.

    But actually, when I eventually looked at the definition like @GG2002 said, I realised the meaning had become obscured by the media.

    By not being a feminist, you're still taking a stance on the issue. It's either you're a feminist or you aren't, and what does not being a feminist look like? What does that mean? Well, by the definition it means that you don't want women to have the same political, economic and social opportunities to men.

    And that's absolutely not true for me, nor probably for most men. We want the women in our lives to have the same opportunities as us. So we're actually feminists.
  5. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    Very true and spot on. Feminism is not about superiority. White supremacy is about superiority. However many men see feminism as women looking to be superior because they view it as taking something from them. Their jobs, their power, their schooling. But all women are asking for is to have the same opportunities that men do. Sure there are some very out there feminists but that’s not most women.
  6. It's easier to break a glass ceiling then a glass floor. I dont usually see women doing road work and going into mining, but I see your point. Maybe women aren't encouraged to work on oil rigs as much as they are encouraged to be nurses.
  7. if she can think and is hot then it is ok. but if her ideas are just based on nothing and she is just a parrot who cannot think, then no. also if she is just really annoying and wants to argue all the time, then no.
    RecoveringWanker likes this.
  8. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

  9. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Urgh. The attitudes of folk here to feminists gets under my skin. There are so many people here who hate feminism and yet do not read actual feminists: all their anti-feminist thinking is second hand through 'news' and sites that also hate feminism and distort what feminists say. I think there is a lot wrong with the way women are treated in the world. In some countries it is stark and frightening, in others it is more surreptitious. Feminists fight to address that and make the world a better place. My mother, wife, and daughter are all feminists and I'm proud of them.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    Sorry man, but that's ludicrous.

    Feminists themselves can't agree on what feminism is. The definition of feminism looks like a rainbow. The actions of many feminists (including their so-called leaders), is often radical, anti-male, anti-capitalism and anti-family.

    One recent feminist 'leader' discussed on a TV show to an entire country, that the State should have ownership of children, rather than the parents themselves. A few people looked confused - including a few girls invited to the audience. Then this feminist quickly parroted a pre-memorised sentence about 'we must have equality for women' and she was applauded, all sociopathic ideas forgiven and forgotten.

    If we measure feminism by its actions, and not by its lullaby definition, then no, I don't imagine many guys (or girls for that matter) would proudly proclaim they are feminists.

    By many accounts, the last I heard most women in the West do not call themselves feminists. See this as just one example: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/only-7-per-cent-of-britons-consider-themselves-feminists/

    Looks like you guys have a bad wrap. Could it be because of the hatred of women (shamed for being moms), men (toxic masculinity? yes, toxic femininity? "crickets"), or families (children belong to the state)?

    Back on topic. I would briefly date an attractive feminist for the 'interesting' conversations. Not raise a family with one. Imagine having a son with a feminist and raising him to believe he's a monster? or raising a girl to believe she's a victim no matter what. Give me a break...
  11. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

    Nope I won't, I don't agree with feminism, actually in many ways it is corruption. And I choose Justice over Equality.
    Coak Hakola and RecoveringWanker like this.
  12. torrace

    torrace Fapstronaut

    I dated one, she became my (now ex) girlfriend. I liked her because she is strong-willed, and there was chemistry.

    Unfortunately the relationship got abusive as she would hit me (in front of my friends). Also it was one-sided on my part to try and mend the relationship as she dumped me on New Year's Eve 2010.

    EDIT: Made a mistake. She dumped me on New Year's Eve 2010, not 2009.
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2018
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  13. OrangeJuice13

    OrangeJuice13 Fapstronaut

    When I started nofap I used to (didn't realize it btw, only realized it recently) hate women, and among that I used to despise the whole notion of feminism and think of it as useless stupidity. Used to judge people at my uni so hard for their efforts in attaining some kind of equality, thinking they were all stupid assholes.
    Nowadays I'm hardly so full of hate, but I wouldn't date what probably some of you are thinking of as a 'feminist' i.e. some crazy aggressive girl with no sense of logic or decency.
    But if we're talking about feminism in terms of equal rights for men and women, for which a better word (for many reasons) I think would be an 'equalist,' although 'equalist' does sound kinda lame and pathetic as a word, but nonetheless the idea is the right one.
    Nobody should be better than anybody else and I think feminism is a kind of loaded word because it's implying that the focus is giving women more rights and opportunities than men. Guess that's fair as a backlash for centuries of male dominance - but it's also pretty childish, like when your friend punches you on the shoulder so you punch them back twice as hard to get them back, then they punch you four times as hard etc. instead of just being adults and going, "hey, what did you do that for?"
    To me that's what feminism should be, as many of you have pointed out above. Unfortunate that the media, as always, cares about stirring controversy instead of actually reporting the truth.

    Not that you probably want to hear it, but for all you fellas who are really negative towards the idea of feminism, you should ask yourself a few questions, especially related to your P use. Do you find yourself watching really aggressive and abusive P? I know I did. Did you ever think about why you enjoyed that stuff? Beyond the obvious "dopamine desensitization" excuse. I mean really think about it.
    In my case I realized I watched all this degrading shit because I hated women. I never thought of myself that way but the truth was plain and simple once I realized it. Why did I hate them was the next question? Because every single girl I'd ever asked out or wanted to ask out rejected me or was generally disgusted by me. Things changed over the course of nofap and now I'm blessed to have lots of amazing people in my life, male and female, and I can't even think about abusive P anymore, now that I know the origin of it and how it really affected my life, in ways I didn't eve know. With that came something I never expected; respect for women and their rights, which is basically what 'feminism' is all about, amirite?
    Fellas you gotta remember, nofap ain't about seeing how long you can go without touching your dick, it's about improving your life, about becoming a better person, opening your heart, fixing things. You can be on a 300 day streak but without that change of heart, you've missed the entire point of nofap.

    tl;dr yes I would cos there's nothing wrong with feminism, and being a feminist doesn't mean being a retard (which unfortunately seems to be quite a confused thing for lots of people.)
  14. If a woman hates men then no but that's not a feminist, that's a sexist.

    Now a woman who thinks women should be treated fairly, then yes. That's what feminism is.

    Any woman who is against feminism has issues.
  15. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    I actually have three friends that work in the fields you mention. Two live and work on oil rigs and the other works in mining . They are all engineers. I don’t know where you live but there’s a ton of construction around me and I see females daily on site. There are many jobs that women want to do but are pushed out of. If old white men have done the hiring for years who do you think they are going to hire? And when women do break into these fields they have to work 100 times harder than the men do to prove themselves. Your comment shows exactly what they encounter the presumption that women can’t do the job. And the harassment both sexual and otherwise that they encounter is brutal. It’s not because the guys want to date her or sleep with her it’s a way of letting her know they don’t think she belongs there and often it works. I always say as a white person I cannot begin to understand how it is to live as a black person so when my black friends tell me I believe them . I don’t say no that’s not happening how could I know that? So men cannot possibly understand how it is to be in this position. So they need to listen to women and believe them. The more support women have from good men the better we all are.
  16. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    I wish you the best of luck in dating because with that attitude very few women will want to be with you. If justice in your mind is lack of equality then you have some serious issues. Men that don’t support equality are usually very insecure. They feel the only way women will want to be with them is if they are in someway superior to them but as the patriarchy falls they are no longer able to do that.
  17. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

  18. I sit corrected. Good points. Carry on.

    Do you actually think men and women are equal though? Not as in rights or opportunities, but equal as in interchangeable in any situation? Is it as good to have a woman as a man do any job at any time? Do fathers and mothers provide exactly equal contributions to raising children? Should that even be an objective, to equalize male and female roles? Like many have said...is that real feminism and who gets to decide?
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2018
    GG2002 likes this.
  19. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    Very insightful post. Often equality or equalism is seen as man hating because men feel something is being taken from them . It used to be a non college educated man in the US could easily get a great paying union job and work it until he retired. Now you have women who in the US outnumber men in college and grad school who are getting the jobs. But nothing is being taken because it was never something that belonged to them in the first place they took it. Just like whites took their position under apartheid or slavery. When people are used to having things they feel entitled and get angry when they see it as being taken away.

    Men also used to take comfort in the fact that to get a good wife all they had to do was earn a good salary and wife would raise the kids cook dinner, clean etc and never question you. She was out of the workforce so no chances of her meeting other men to compete with you. And sex was all about the man. Women did not express desire that was slutty. And even if the wife was terribly unhappy she rarely left. She had no means to support herself. This was a pretty good deal for men I can see why they are fighting it!

    Women leave if they are not happy and want more than a paycheck. Many outearn their spouses and enjoy sex more then men. For secure men this is not an issue. For insecure men it is. But the reality is that times are changing and whether some men choose to fight it and not come along really just means they will end up alone angry and bitter because there are plenty of men who are coming along most a lot younger.

    I do see a lot of men on NoFap that are angry at women. I think porn can also cause or increase that thought process or men who already think that way turn to it for validation. Many feel entitled to sex and to women because for years that’s just what society gave them. So how dare a woman have a mind of her own and reject them? Or the men who think that if they behave a certain way or do some more convincing the woman will change their minds . But the reality is she just may not like you and that’s okay. So it’s sort of a problem that perpetuates . Women see you as sexist so the reject you you become more sexist and more women reject you.

    The total point being you all can not date a feminist. But that’s going to be very difficult. I can’t think of any woman that does not want equal rights for herself and her daughters.
    OrangeJuice13 likes this.

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