Would You Date a *** ****? (Potential Trigger)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Aug 26, 2017.

  1. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Is this a hypothetical question or is there a girl you are falling for? If there is then I'd like to know more before answering. How did you meet? Does she help or hinder your recovery from porn addiction? What does she see her economic choices as? Does she look to you for moral guidance - or does she just want a supportive boyfriend? What do you need from her in the relationship? Where does she see her life going in the future? Where do you see yours?
     
  2. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I said you gotta do what's right for you, and I think what's important is you find someone who is a good fit for you. I can see you are more conservative, and I admit I was wrong for saying it's judgemental without understanding what you were trying to actually say. You wouldn't date a cam girl because obviously they don't share the same values as you since she is doing it. Personally I don't think that industry is a big deal. I think some corporations are more corrupt and immoral with how they leverage their money and power control healthy people and markets. Sure cam girls take advantage of lonely people, but I have limited patience for people who play the victim card and let themselves get screwed. We are all adults here so take responsibility. This goes for both the cam girls and the people who watch. And assuming all cam girls enjoy doing what they do is just you making an assumption about someone you dont even know. But I get it, if they were an addict and manipulator I wouldn't date them, but because of those things, not because they were a cam girl.
     
  3. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I agree.

    I most definitely did not say "all." In fact, I'm pretty sure I specifically said it would be a different story if they were in a tough place and wanting to change, or some other reason. To me, the implication of the original question was that the hypothetical girl in question is currently a cam girl, and there was no mention of her feeling any sort of shame or guilt about doing such an immoral job. I think I had good reason, in this particular situation, with this particular question, to assume that the girl is working as a cam girl currently and voluntarily, which is something I wouldn't want in a relationship.
     
  4. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    To me the question was about someone asking about a girl who had a job with a bad rep. My response was that it doesn't matter what the job, but who the person is and if that fits what they want in a partner.
     
    Numbanddisturbed72 and kropo82 like this.
  5. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I understand what you mean, but I think it's kind of ignorant to not recognize that having that job in the first place says something about who you are and what you believe is right. Unless you're a sex slave who is doing it against your will.
     
    Hardboiled24 likes this.
  6. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    I don't know anyone who works in that industry. I can't imagine they have had am easy life to get there. But you hear about strippers that do that shit to pay for their education, for a chance of a better life. So I just didn't want to discount that possibility. Because I don't believe I have any right to generalize them. Also I don't like grouping people into convenient categories of types of people since I think that's why racism and bigotry exist. People are more than just their occupation, more than their religion , they are too complex to stereotype into a single category. They can be many things, father, brother, stripper, addict, Christian, millionaire , advocate to gay rights, Chinese ethnic background, vietnamese immigrant, French citizen. When we force a single identity to a complex individual, we ignore everything everything else they are. This leads to misunderstanding, lack of empathy, and possibly hate. When media categorizes people as Christian, Jew, or maybe Russian, Chinese, it creates lines between us when we are also, sons and daughters, trying to live our lives the best we can. So yeah you can make assumptions about people, and it could be correct. But I don't think it's right
     
  7. leo da king

    leo da king Fapstronaut

    Is this supposed to be a question or a debate?

    It seems like you already had views on the question.
     
    Castielle likes this.
  8. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps he should examine his own motives for dating a cam girl. In recovery I see my own motives behind my attraction to women. Perhaps he wants to rescue her. Either way. Don't date her while she is actively a cam girl.
     
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    How did they meet?

    In the cam world? Do.not.date... sounds like a scam.
     
  10. leo da king

    leo da king Fapstronaut

    There's many other ways to make money than prostitution. If he wants to date a cam girl, fine, if he doesn't, fine. It looks like he wants to so I can't change his mind
     
    Castielle likes this.
  11. leo da king

    leo da king Fapstronaut

    On the other hand, if he wants to convince ME to date a cam girl, he'll have to do more than what his current argument is to convince me
     
    Castielle likes this.
  12. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    I just hope he is responsible enough to recognize when it's a bad idea. And that he is vulnerable right now.
     
    Rockyroad likes this.
  13. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I agree with everything you're saying, and yet again (because you still don't seem to get this), I'm not judging this hypothetical girl as a person and saying she's a terrible person who should go to hell or some crap. I'm saying I wouldn't DATE her. Dating is inherently discriminatory, unless you would date anyone who asked you out, which most people wouldn't. I could tell you that if you don't date men, you're discriminating and judging them because you don't know who they are as a person and they might be great for you.

    The big difference between you and me, in this situation, is that you don't seem to believe there's anything morally wrong about someone being a cam girl or a stripper. I do. Therefore, it doesn't matter to me if she's going through a hard time or if she's paying for school or to have a better life, she's still doing something that I find to be incredibly wrong. I mean would you date someone who was being paid to murder people, because she is going through a tough time and trying to make a better future for herself? Plenty of people are in tough financial positions, and they don't choose to murder people or become cam girls to get more money. I would probably be a pretty great cam girl, myself, and I could be rich instead of the position I'm in now, but I'm not going to do that, because I think it's a terrible thing to do. (Again, in case you've turned your ears off, that doesn't mean I think she's a terrible person, it means she's making a choice to do something incredibly harmful and morally innapproriate.)

    This whole conversation is frankly ridiculous. You've essentially just compared me to racists and people who hate gay people, etc., for saying I won't date a cam girl, so forgive me if I'm a little peeved at this point. I'm getting pretty tired of the way you're acting like I'm some judgemental asshole or I'm making assumptions about this hypothetical person. I've already said multiple times that there are many reasons why she might be doing that job, but unless she is doing it out of force and also agrees that it's morally wrong and wishes she could stop, she's not a person I would date, because our moral values clearly don't align. There's nothing wrong with that statement, and I don't appreciate being treated like I'm a terrible person for saying I wouldn't date a cam girl.
     
  14. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I could be wrong, but I really didn't think the person asking this question is actually in this position, looking for advice. I just saw it as a curiosity/conversation starter.
     
    Son of a Bitch and Hardboiled24 like this.
  15. Bingo. He's also started another similar thread asking if people would marry a prostitute or ex prostitute.

    @Surfing Poet, are you coming back to this thread or...?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2017
    kropo82 likes this.
  16. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    Jesus why didn't you say sooner lol
     
  17. Buddha because I just checked on this thread this morning. Confucius dammit, I'm not a mind reader!
     
  18. Rockyroad

    Rockyroad Fapstronaut

    Yeah I believe that he was more or less just stirring the pot.
     
  19. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    People can get blinded by beauty.
     
  20. Rebooter92

    Rebooter92 Fapstronaut

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    Was OP's question out of curiosity or inspired by real-life events?
     

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