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Would You Date a *** ****? (Potential Trigger)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Aug 26, 2017.

  1. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    I don't know anyone who works in that industry. I can't imagine they have had am easy life to get there. But you hear about strippers that do that shit to pay for their education, for a chance of a better life. So I just didn't want to discount that possibility. Because I don't believe I have any right to generalize them. Also I don't like grouping people into convenient categories of types of people since I think that's why racism and bigotry exist. People are more than just their occupation, more than their religion , they are too complex to stereotype into a single category. They can be many things, father, brother, stripper, addict, Christian, millionaire , advocate to gay rights, Chinese ethnic background, vietnamese immigrant, French citizen. When we force a single identity to a complex individual, we ignore everything everything else they are. This leads to misunderstanding, lack of empathy, and possibly hate. When media categorizes people as Christian, Jew, or maybe Russian, Chinese, it creates lines between us when we are also, sons and daughters, trying to live our lives the best we can. So yeah you can make assumptions about people, and it could be correct. But I don't think it's right
     
  2. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps he should examine his own motives for dating a cam girl. In recovery I see my own motives behind my attraction to women. Perhaps he wants to rescue her. Either way. Don't date her while she is actively a cam girl.
     
  3. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    How did they meet?

    In the cam world? Do.not.date... sounds like a scam.
     
  4. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    I just hope he is responsible enough to recognize when it's a bad idea. And that he is vulnerable right now.
     
    Rockyroad likes this.
  5. I agree with everything you're saying, and yet again (because you still don't seem to get this), I'm not judging this hypothetical girl as a person and saying she's a terrible person who should go to hell or some crap. I'm saying I wouldn't DATE her. Dating is inherently discriminatory, unless you would date anyone who asked you out, which most people wouldn't. I could tell you that if you don't date men, you're discriminating and judging them because you don't know who they are as a person and they might be great for you.

    The big difference between you and me, in this situation, is that you don't seem to believe there's anything morally wrong about someone being a cam girl or a stripper. I do. Therefore, it doesn't matter to me if she's going through a hard time or if she's paying for school or to have a better life, she's still doing something that I find to be incredibly wrong. I mean would you date someone who was being paid to murder people, because she is going through a tough time and trying to make a better future for herself? Plenty of people are in tough financial positions, and they don't choose to murder people or become cam girls to get more money. I would probably be a pretty great cam girl, myself, and I could be rich instead of the position I'm in now, but I'm not going to do that, because I think it's a terrible thing to do. (Again, in case you've turned your ears off, that doesn't mean I think she's a terrible person, it means she's making a choice to do something incredibly harmful and morally innapproriate.)

    This whole conversation is frankly ridiculous. You've essentially just compared me to racists and people who hate gay people, etc., for saying I won't date a cam girl, so forgive me if I'm a little peeved at this point. I'm getting pretty tired of the way you're acting like I'm some judgemental asshole or I'm making assumptions about this hypothetical person. I've already said multiple times that there are many reasons why she might be doing that job, but unless she is doing it out of force and also agrees that it's morally wrong and wishes she could stop, she's not a person I would date, because our moral values clearly don't align. There's nothing wrong with that statement, and I don't appreciate being treated like I'm a terrible person for saying I wouldn't date a cam girl.
     
  6. I could be wrong, but I really didn't think the person asking this question is actually in this position, looking for advice. I just saw it as a curiosity/conversation starter.
     
    Son of a Bitch and Hardboiled24 like this.
  7. Bingo. He's also started another similar thread asking if people would marry a prostitute or ex prostitute.

    @Surfing Poet, are you coming back to this thread or...?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2017
    kropo82 likes this.
  8. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    Jesus why didn't you say sooner lol
     
  9. Buddha because I just checked on this thread this morning. Confucius dammit, I'm not a mind reader!
     
  10. Rockyroad

    Rockyroad Fapstronaut

    Yeah I believe that he was more or less just stirring the pot.
     
  11. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    People can get blinded by beauty.
     
  12. Rebooter92

    Rebooter92 Fapstronaut

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    Was OP's question out of curiosity or inspired by real-life events?
     
  13. Rockyroad

    Rockyroad Fapstronaut

    Well the person who posted this initially has not commented or liked any post since then.
     
  14. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    @CassTeaElle has it exactly right. The question posted in this thread was "Would you ever date a cam girl?"

    The fact is that every human being has the right to be as discriminating as they want about who they date--even down to the most brutally superficial detail. If people choose not to date camgirls because they feel like the behavior is out of their moral boundaries, that's their right, and it's morally wrong to condemn them for having standards.

    Their standards are different than yours? Fine. Let it go.
     
  15. Freakin thank you.
     
    pranav02 likes this.
  16. I'm commenting now :emoji_stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Sorry I have this tendency to start threads with the intention of coming back and commenting but get busy or forget. I also tend to overthink my post sometimes and that further delays my responses. There was one thread I replied to it about 3 months later :emoji_speak_no_evil: I still plan to reply to the Conservative/Liberal and Song of Songs thread someday. I see that feminist thread got deleted before I had the chance to view the responses to my post :emoji_grin:

    No, I didn't start it to 'stir the pot', it was partly out of curiosity and real events.

    Today I deleted my account for a particular cam site. It was stupid to sign up in the first place but it's what happened. I got speaking with one girl on there and she started asking me questions about life and started telling about things going on with her. Then asked for my Skype but I couldn't remember it since I hardly use Skype. But I did give her my Kik but she hasn't contacted me, and really I'm glad because I actually started to regret it the next day. Really I think she was just after my money but I admit I started to feel sorry for her for she said she was a single mother, I mean what can I say I feel compassionate sometimes.

    I admit I'm intrigued by what would cause someone to be a cam girl. Who is that person? Why are they doing it? Are they hiding it from their family or have no problem with them knowing? I watched this one documentary about someone who was a cam girl who used to work in an office but got bored and started camming. Eventually she quit her office job and cammed full time. She claimed she earned more money and had more fun than her previous job.

    On the other hand I read some reviews on a job website on working for a particular site cam site, and all the reviews said they only did it because they were desperate. So I think these sites have a mixture of people. Maybe she was telling me the truth and I've misjudged her. I can't know for sure what was going on with her.

    But I also wonder what I would do if I got in a relationship with someone who used to or still does camming. Am I really in a position to judge such a person when I've contributed financially to those sites? Could I really justify breaking up with someone over that when I've been addicted to porn? Isn't it a case of me trying to remove the splinter from her eye when I've got a plank in my own eye? And then once you've removed the plank do view those with splinters differently?

    I mean I've seen some fapstronauts say they hate porn star but there would be no porn stars if there were no one watching porn. It's a case of supply and demand. If we demand it, it will be supplied. I'm not saying I'm better than other fapstronauts but I don't see how can I complain about the existence of porn stars or cam girls.

    I would much rather be in a relationship with someone who had nothing to do with porn or web cams, but I would rather be with someone who's been humbled by a porn addiction, than be with a self-righteous bitch who looks down on everyone who doesn't doesn't conform to her level of morality.
     
    pranav02 likes this.
  17. Yeah, that was a shame... lots of good discussion deleted for no reason.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. It's not a matter of judging her... it's a matter of choosing not to date her. I don't understand why people keep conflating these things. You don't need to have feelings of judgement for someone in order to say "I don't want to date someone who has different values than me." And if you believe porn is harmful and are trying to quit, that's much different than someone who is currently working as a cam girl. To choose not to date that person isn't to say you think you're better than them. But you're at a different place in life. Yes, you used to contribute to those sites, but now you recognize that it's harmful and are trying to change, whereas she is not trying to change and doesn't recognize anything wrong with what she's doing.

    Yes, you do. You view them with more compassion and understanding, because you've been there. Your heart aches for them when you see them falling down a trap you fell down, without believing that it is even a trap. But that doesn't mean you need to date them.

    I agree. But again... this conversation isn't about whether or not you should feel justified to hate cam girls. It's about whether or not you should feel justified to not date them. No to the former, yes to the latter.

    See, but this is a completely different type of person than what you've been describing. Someone who is currently working as a cam girl is probably not someone who has been "humbled by a porn addiction." Girls on this site are those types of girls. Ex-cam girls are those types of girls. And maybe a few who are currently working are struggling with getting free. But it really depends on their motivation and reason for having that job. If they have no problem with it and aren't trying to stop, then they aren't a person who has been "humbled by a porn addiction." They are a person who has different beliefs and values than you, and it would be perfectly fine to choose not to date that person.
     
    wwart1020 and Deleted Account like this.
  19. Remember what you just said here, if she ever does decide to contact you.

    I would be willing to bet that is the case. These women have soooo many guys available at their fingertips. And I'm not saying you're nothing special, because I'm sure you have a lot of unique qualities a girl would love, but I highly doubt she's looking for love or a relationship on a site like that. If she's hot, trust me, she has a plethora of options in the real world. She's probably just after your money.

    Which is exactly how these women get money from guys. They make you feel bad for them, like you're their saving grace. They prey on compassionate men, or men who think that if they give her more money she'll love them. It's a pretty despicable thing, if that's what she's doing. Obviously I can't read her heart, but I would say it's pretty likely the case.
     
    Born_For_War and Deleted Account like this.
  20. Yeah, I suppose in my post I was thinking about many different women in my post. But yeah I agree.
     

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