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Would you use a system where you are always being observed by another person to beat PMO?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, May 13, 2021.

  1. Something really struck me this morning, which is that a person who is trying to not PMO could guarantee total, limitless success on their first attempt simply by having someone stay with them all the time, due to the fact that people won't PMO while others are watching.

    The downside is that it would be invasive, and maybe at times awkward. You might have to be seen naked if you wanted to extend this to cover showering/trips to the bathroom, although I bet there are ways around this... for example, you could make an agreement with your buddy that you would have some sort of check-in procedure you would go through before going to the bathroom to make sure you were "feeling strong". You could institute some kind of semi-transparent curtain that obscures details but gives enough information to tell your buddy if you are PMO-ing or not, use this with the shower and maybe even the toilet. Nights would be tricky since obviously your buddy would have to sleep but I have been able to think of a few workarounds here too: your buddy could wait until you fall asleep to fall asleep themselves and then you could both wake up with an alarm clock (obviously you would have to sleep in the same room for this to work). Alternatively, you could lock up with some sort of chastity device at night. Alternatively, you could have multiple buddies who take shifts so someone really does watch you at night.

    This may sound extreme but I do feel like it would be very effective, and worth the trouble if you are serious about rebooting and struggling to do it in other ways. Even if you are very badly addicted and have very poor self-control, you won't PMO in front of another person, esp. when that other person's job is to discourage you from PMO.

    From my point of view, such a system would fill a pretty large and well-defined need. When people are struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction, they often find it helpful to spend some time in a place where they won't be tempted/able to do the drug/alcohol. There is a whole rehab industry for this reason. Having a place where it is hard if not impossible to do drugs helps people get through the withdrawal and early recovery phase where the cravings are especially bad and one's self-control is likely especially poor. Rehab centers exist for sexual issues too and they actually kind of almost do something like this but in my understanding it is something they only do temporarily, in rare cases, for people who are REALLY struggling. But why limit this to a temporary thing for a few people who are having a particularly hard time in an institution someplace? Why not use this sort of approach to help anyone who might be struggling to meet their goals?

    Personally I believe that there is a huge amount of untapped potential in this idea of leveraging the fact that people don't PMO in front of each other. I think that there is widespread need for this sort of support, and that having it be longer term can only help. It would be ideal if the person could come to you and adapt to your life, too, instead of your needing to halt your life and go to some kind of facility.

    Obviously this wouldn't be a permanent solution to anybody's problem with PMO (it wouldn't be intended to be a permanent thing), but the beauty of such an approach is that your brain would rewire significantly during this period, so when your buddy leaves (in 3 months, or a year, or however long) you will have weathered the worst of the withdrawal and would likely be far more stable and well-adjusted at the neurological level, and therefore much more likely to be able to maintain ongoing sobriety by yourself/with a recovery community.

    The reason there is such a need for something like this in my view is that with PMO, the "drug" is attached to your body. As someone who has dealt with drug addiction, I know that it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to break a drug addiction when the drug is literally RIGHT THERE, either a few feet or a half dozen paces away. I don't have the data to prove this, but I'm pretty sure most people get sober when they RUN OUT of drugs/alcohol, and thus no longer have it right on hand. But as you all know, with PMO, the "drug" is always RIGHT THERE... there is no significant buffer of space or time to protect you. So it makes sense to me that for this addiction, artificially creating an immediate buffer like this would be extremely helpful if not actually necessary for recovery.

    Do people see the value in this sort of approach that I see? Would people here be interested in doing something like this with a buddy, or in paying to receive such a service? This is just a hypothetical thing (for now, anyways) but I'm just curious if others see the potential here that I see. Let me know!
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. I don't know how to respond to this.
    It's an interesting concept?
    I guess I can see where it might be helpful for someone with zero self-control against a crippling addiction like PMO.
    It's the premise of a really funny movie starring Ryan Reynolds?
    Sorry, dude, no offense. I'm just processing. You do make some really good points, though.
    Oh, sorry...but to answer the question: would I use it? No. I like to fight my own battles, and I would probably just end up convincing my "keeper" to be my jerk-off buddy.
    I am so sorry, but this really is a plum role for Ryan Reynolds.
     
    CarP likes this.
  3. TheLastFortress

    TheLastFortress Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion you would not learn how to deal with your emotions and thoughts the same way compared to someone that goes through this process alone. And I think it's essential to deal with it by yourself for most of the time. This way you really learn something from your struggle. How to handle your own discomfort, emotions and thoughts.
    Temporary support on very difficult days however could help to overcome that day. For example I have the offer from a friend that I can sleep over there when I think it helps me. I didn't make use of this so far on a usual workday but it's good to know to have this option.
     
    +TenPercent and Munchausen like this.
  4. That is an extreme form of accountability indeed!
    But not totally unreasonable. It takes what it takes.
    I've heard of guys giving their cellphones and credit cards to their sponsor / AP at night, so that they won't act out. Many use porn blockers, or simply learn to live without having a computer at home.
    I imagine that there are in-patient treatment facilities for sex addiction.
    And getting a roommate (or roommates) might really help some people.

    You mentioned using a chastity device at night. Why not wear one 24/7 and give the key to your buddy?
     
    Hard Mode likes this.
  5. Lynx93

    Lynx93 Fapstronaut

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    It can be helpful this kind of support, specially in moments with very little self control
     
    Hard Mode and +TenPercent like this.
  6. Hard Mode

    Hard Mode Fapstronaut

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    @gregaro

    Hey, Man.

    This is a very interesting post, and it resonates with me as I was in a situation that was a little bit similar.

    I spent a few weeks in jail some years ago and there was no privacy at all in the facility. I was in a big cell with 64 inmates in bunkbeds, open showers, and open toilets. The only place where you could even try to masturbate was sitting on the toilet that was only separated from the next commode by a 3-feet high wall. It was like the place was built to make masturbation as difficult as possible.

    And it worked.

    I postponed the idea of trying to masturbate for as long as I could. My penis was throbbing all night and I couldn't sleep because of my aching balls, but I didn't dare stroking. The risk of getting caught was too big, and the stories of "illicit masturbators" (there was actually a Correction Facility term for it! LOL!) being sent to isolation was too scary.

    The added fucked-up-ness was that we got strip-searched daily or twice daily, which often involved being kept naked and handcuffed behind your back at length. And getting an erection during a strip-search could earn you punishment from the Guards.

    I think a set up like you mention could be very effective! And I wouldn't be against the addition that @+TenPercent suggests, including to be forced to wear a chastity device 24/7.

    A system like that would achieve FULL accountability for the addict. The "buddies" helping the addict could be just that: buddies that the addict already has an established friendship with. Or they could be hired PMO Monitors, maybe security officers or prison guards wanting to make an extra buck.

    As for hanging semi-transparant curtains in the bathroom for some privacy, I don't think that would be necessary. In the jail, everything was open, including toilet stalls and showers; bunkbeds were close together and blankets were narrow and thin; the lights were on 24/7; and there were always two Guards in the room keeping an eye on you day and night. Trying to stroke in your bunk, you would've been caught for sure.

    An addict trying to quit PMO should not necessarily have more privileges than an inmate in jail.

    Like another person said here, this would of course not be a permanent solution. But I could see it work really well for a three or six-month period to get a guy on the right track.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2021
  7. Being observed constantly isn't really mentally helpful, that's why we don't have panopticon jails anymore. That said there is something to be said for something like limiting yourself so that you're only using the internet when other people are with you.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  8. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    Don't tape your camera and don't use vpn or any anonymous browser, that is it.
     
  9. No, no one forces me to be in a PMO prison at the first place, so I need to aware of being in that prison and voluntarily get out of it by myself.

    Having a right mindset as a mental guard instead of physical blockers (porn blockers) significantly helps me, with a sense of comfortable but not a sacrifice state.
     
  10. rsdot

    rsdot Fapstronaut

    There's an online service of sorts, called covenant eyes (https://www.covenanteyes.com), which is quite similar to what you described, but it's all through your devices, computer mobile etc. It's paid though. I have been trying to make my own version of it, if anyone's interested. So far i managed to make it take screenshots every so often but i didn't know if anyone would be even interested to be my partner to begin with, so the project is at a stall.
     
    Hard Mode likes this.

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