Wtf am I doing?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, May 1, 2018.

  1. Zerakazul

    Zerakazul Fapstronaut


    for me ive found that my mind on porn feels like "since this feels good nothing else matters." I only enjoy doing 2 things other than porn, or 3 things. Eating a ton, video games, and tv. I have tried to ask girls out before but during those times my pmo abstention was a week or a week in a half. so I never got anything back prolly cause I was never motivated to improve myself beyond a point for girls I want to want me. no point in being all that upset about it anyway, id prolly just bore my gf out of the relationship as I am now. I think all of this about me roots from the PMO because I remember one time I was 2 weeks strong and I started enjoying being around my family, remembering things about myself and enjoying conversation more.

    -In a nutshell get off the addiction build yourself socially and become a better version of yourself and then go get em. ( for me it'll probably take longer than my current goal of 2 months)
  2. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

    Id like to know what a definition of a loser is for you, or a winner.

    For me, society "sees" a winner as someone that found balance in their lifestyle and is happy with his overall family, relationships, career or state of living. CEO, rich, supermodel hot GF are how the "masses" sees a winner.

    A loser, in the other hand, is someone who shows all the contrary things from a winner?
    For me this binary classification of another peoples lives is just sick. Be whatever you want to be man...
    Last edited: May 31, 2018
    outplan likes this.
  3. Dude. I know many guys that are very social. But they are not independent. They live in their parent's house and never had a decent job.
    They don't have the balls to get out and to the things all by themselves. It is like they rely so much in their friends and gf's. They are needy as hell.
    I am not these guys, yet.

    You know, nowadays a guy with many likes or followers in IG or FB is a winner. Because our society relies on IG anf FB. Our society is becoming a loser also.

    See the man in your profile picture. He is a winner, their followers are the sheep. Society rely so much in FB and IG. Society is addicted to social media. Just like I am with PMO. Why would I care about the opinion of society?

    btw, I talked with someone that I know from kindergarten. He was/is a very cool guy and he said that I was the only guy that he didn't find on FB/IG. I said that I don't have social accounts.
    He said: Create one man, we are always hanging out and creating events.... I only started to have gf's when I started to talk with girls on IG.

    I thought for myself. Well, maybe if I create a FB will have more firends. And IG will be cool to meet girls.

    FUCK THAT! FUCK Zuckerberg. This is like PMO. I will not fall in the patterns of society.
  4. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    You're imagining an enemy. You've created a valueset in your life that necessitates non-conformity. That's unnatural. If you dig deep enough you'll probably find some events in your life that have made you afraid of opening yourself up. You can't get the things you want in your life with your current mindset.

    If you want to be an alpha-male with a hot GF and fast car and fancy apartment then NoFap isn't going to help you. You're so unhappy with your life you self medicate with PMO but you're unwilling to look at the underlying issues causing the unhappiness. Until you're willing to admit that you actually need to change then there's not much anyone can do to help you. No man is an island.
    Potato93 likes this.
  5. I don't need to dig deep. I know what made me become not very social. Mainly exclusion when I was a kid and teen. Now I don't want to be included because I don't want people to think that I need them. Plain and simple. And YES I FEAR exclusion. I fear a NO from a girl/boy/kid and even a dog. I am a pussy ok...I relapsed yesterday.

    I don't want anything right now, no gf, no car, no apartment. I just don't care.
  6. outplan

    outplan Fapstronaut

    That's really painful to hear. Many of us have been there. There's not really adequate words to give you right now. Everything sounds cliche when you're in that spot and nothing feels of value. I know that place well. All I can say is that you can get out, you can feel better, you can move forward, you can reclaim your life. Have you sought professional assistance?

    Please stop being so hard on yourself, no matter how you feel right now, you are important!
    Potato93 likes this.
  7. Don't worry, I am not suicidal. As you said, I am being hard on myself.
    This no PMO thing is hard. This self improvement thing is hard.

    When I say I don't care, I mean that I will stop whining for not having a gf, friends, society, whatever. Yes I am 27 yo virgin, I feel the pressure of time and society, it sucks. But I am healthy, I can walk, I can see, I can communicate, I can learn anything, I can smile. Why am I crying? Srly? Why did I create this post? What do I need more?

    Maybe this relapse was a good thing. Maybe posting here was a good thing, Only today I realized that I don't have any motive to cry or whine about life. Lol I have a job, I have the best family in the world, and I have lots of tools to be happy and improve myself.

    I saw a midget today. He had trouble getting out of the car. Nobody helped him. He was all by himself.
    I thought about all the problems that he had, that he has and that he will have. I bet that my problems are nothing when compared to his problems.

    I thought for myself. Would I prefer to me a midget with lots of friends and gfs, money and everything,
    or be me as I am now. I didn't take so long to figure out that my life is great. Having a gf is just a complement.
    Actually, having gf can be a shit as we all know. Maybe being alone is not so bad as society says.

    I don't like to compare myself with the others. But that is what I have been doing my whole life.

    First time that after writing something here, I am feeling the inner peace growing. It is like I am getting lighter.

    Thank you all and sorry for my bitch whinings. I will not whine from now on. I will not call others losers or pussies.
    And I will not blame the others or my past traumas for my problems. I have to move on...
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2018
  8. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

    The way you fight facebook is not by rejecting it but by embracing it, not by the platform but by the people that are there.
    When you do that you start realising that it never had the control you really thought it had over the people that uses it. (there are people that really gets addicted to it, no doubts about that) But if all of my friends move over *insert social media platform here*, then I'll at least question why? (and be happy that they are critical about it as well.) Are they sheeps? Some of them probably, but some other part is just using that shit exactly because they want to keep in touch with their friends and share their bussiness pages.

    I use this profile pic because by the end of the day Its all a big joke for me, and for everyone that sees it in a PMO forum chat. Lol
    Example, I never used Tinder or anything else, I hate the social aspects behind it, but I dont (at least) discriminate people that uses it.
    (but if my future son uses it to meet someone I'll beat the heck out of him haha)
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. relaxedtheist5478

    relaxedtheist5478 Fapstronaut

    You're right and I think I didn't explained it well. Loving and accepting yourself doesn't mean that you have to be happy with who you are even if you're a complete miserable person. It means the opposite, it means that you have to take care of yourself and do with your life something you're happy about, which is the point of improving. Happiness depends on you, and when you realize that, you don't blame others of your suffering and make them feel bad.

    And accepting yourself, is living to your truth, embracing your nature, your emotions and your thoughts, no fighting with them or rejecting them, but doing the possible so that the negative ones don't happen.

    I think this guy explains perfectly what I wanted to say about the relationship between loving yourself and healthy relationships, and that it will help you a lot. Both videos are short.

    Deleted Account and outplan like this.
  10. nzguy21

    nzguy21 New Fapstronaut

    I have some advice. Although it is a lot easier to say it than execute it. You need to change your perspective on the whole thing. If you think about it in a certain perspective, no matter what happens when you hit on a girl it’s a win. Think about it like this, when you do something enough it becomes normal to you and you don’t get as effected by it as much. You might even say you are more confident in said scenarios. An example would be say your first day of work, new environments, new people, new experiences which can be scary and intimidating. But after working there for a while it’s normal, you know everyone, you’re confident in your role and you don’t even think about the stuff you did at the start. Believe it or not same goes for talking to girls. If you start talking to a random girl and ask her out there are 2 outcomes. You either get rejected or she says yes. Now if she says yes then fuck yeah you got what you want. However if you get rejected, not only do you walk away with practice but you get more accustomed to being rejected. Now keep in mind the fact that the more used to something you are the less it phases you. So if you get rejected quite a few times eventually it won’t bother you and you won’t even be afraid of it happening, because in your eyes it’s a win. With this comes the genuine confidence which is the most attractive trait to have! Plus if you a 5/10 and you ask 10 random girls out a day at least one of them is going to say yes. I think the truth is you aren’t afurally trying and you want the internet to do the work for you but that’s not how it works. You need to get out of your comfort zone because that my friend is how you grow!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Look brother, the best and easiest way to enter in anyone's life is through communication. As far as I know about humans, we all like someone who is attractive. Attraction lies everywhere, it's a matter of how we project our's. Let me explain. Let's say you have a book in your hands. It's a book about the person sitting right in front of you at a coffee shop. You open the book and start reading. The first page of the book is filled with how they look, the hair, the outfit, that smile, those eyes etc. You turn over and it's still the same description...and again...and again. Boring, right? Well, that is what's happening with you. I don't want to sound rude but bro you are not letting your other pages reveal in front of the world. If you don't make friends or share your ideologies, thoughts, dreams and aspirations... how wold you convince them to like you? Every person who has a healthy social circle is attractive because that's in their aura. you want girls to like you, then you'll have to get into a group that is active in their social life. People like other people who talk. People love sharing stories. The base of human evolution is sharing ideas and stories. That's just how we are.

    Average looking guys getting beautiful girls is not because the girls are stupid or the guy has money. NO. It's because they know how to talk. Most of them even actually care for the ladies they are with, no matter how tough they behave in front of other dudes. You wanna get a girlfriend, get a friend circle first. Us internet guys with a few philosophies won't help you any better than some live human with whom you can sit on a mountain top and share beer with. Make friends. The girlfriend part will happen in time and with a surprise if you believe me.

    Good luck. Cheers!
    Deleted Account likes this.

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